MK forum

This hit me hard this morning. Mixed feelings here. There weren't all bad memories at Via, but they did outweigh the goods ones. My heart is a little sad, but a sense of "rightness" because I truly don't believe it's God's plan for children to be separated from their parents in order for ministry to be done. Today, there are so many ways to home school, bring tutors to come work with the children and so forth. Boarding school should no longer be an option. Tell me how you all feel once you read this letter. Love, Memories

Hi Memories,

Thank you very much for responding to this letter. Our hearts go out to you when we realize how much you have suffered these many years.

We are awaiting the investigation, having made available all documentation that we have available for those investigating. There are no leaders who currently are in leadership that were active as leaders at the time of your terrible experience in the little dorm. For those of us who had children in that dorm during that period, what we can say is that it has been very hard to "wrap our minds around" the idea that Frank was a sexual abuser. I know this isn't very helpful to you, but it seems like it has a possible bearing on why it takes so long.

We are aware that the facts will have to be determined by the investigating team, and we will have to await the results of their investigation. These are non NTM people who are to investigate the issue.

The school at Vianópolis is closing at the end of the current school year. It's likely that it will never be reopened. If it is reopened in some form, the school structure (this doesn't refer to physical buildings, etc.) won't look anything like the one you attended so many years ago.

Once again, please allow us to express our sincere, humble apology for the awful things that you have suffered in a school and dorm that we currently administrate.

Sincerely,

Fred Otto
for the general and eastern MNTB leadership teams

Memories, I agree that boarding schools are not the best option. Children only have limited years with their parents and during that time I think they need to be our number one priority, while still keeping other things in balance of course. Childhood is such an influential time and what happens during that time stays with us the rest of our lives. I do think you can still do ministry while having kids but I also think after our kids are gone, there are plenty of years left to be fully committed to ministry. It would be interesting to hear what any of the boarding students have to say since I was a staff kid.
When I was younger, I used to wish I could be in the dorm. Once in high school, I was so grateful for having my parents around. If they had not been around, I'm not sure that I would have ever come forward with my own abuse story. In 10th grade was when my mom and I got closer and that's when I told her what happened to me.
Now that I have my own kids, I can't imagine at all sending them away. There's just no way I would do it. As I've said before, if ministry is really that important to people, then I think they should not have children.

Memories, the school at Aritao (Philippines) also closed down, years ago. I felt that was fitting, because so much evil had gone on there, particularly in the one dorm where a crazed pedophile molested numerous children, it was hard to imagine the building itself could ever feel "clean" again.

I agree that sending small children away to school is a horrendous idea. It shames me now that I ever bought into such a barbaric notion. That "groupthink" really did a number on me and so many other parents who convinced themselves they were making a sacrifice for "the work" and God would be pleased.

Ugh ...

I have tears in my eyes...I really am deeply sad and conflicted about this. There is so much sadness and so much fun all wrapped into a string of memories....A lot of sadness about what Via was and what it wasn't. Via closing is like Via dying in some way...and now as I process that death, I feel freedom to let it go and hope that I will let it go...I wish I had learned how to do that before....

For those adults that worked there when I was there, who genuinely loved kids and had their best interest at heart, I thank you and I grieve with you about this closing. For those adults who participated in and perpetuated the culture of abuse, all abuses, I pray for your healing, and I grieve for you. For you my fellow MKs, may your journey of pain bring you to wholeness, and may our paths cross often.

@raz: some kids (read: me) were also susceptible to buying in to warped ideologies.

@OT: yes

@XYZ: I'm with you. Not sure my part will make it through customs, though...

I, too, am conflicted, and I can't figure out, for the life of me WHY! For the better part of my life now, I've resented my parents for choosing Via as a place for me to grow up away from them! I've struggled with feelings of abandonment, loneliness, displacement for as long as I can remember. Although I've struggled, I have forgiven, but the pain remains.

So, WHY am I conflicted about Via closing? I know the hurt that many have felt as a result of their experience there...some, who, to this day, are struggling just to make it through another day.

I guess it is just that the majority of my childhood memories--good and bad--took place on that bright red patch of land overlooking that valley. Everything from my first Conference experience to my High School graduation. I climbed those trees, slammed those doors, crashed into eucalyptus trees on my bike, took meals in the refei, walked those halls. My peers became my family for months on end.

I guess what I mostly grieve is the loss of that family--as dysfunctional as it may have been--it was still my family. I'm still reeling from the reports of abuse that occurred to members of that family while at that "Home-Sweet-Away from Home." I, too, can hardly wrap my head around it. I'm still sorting out what was real, what was true, what was sacred, from what was lies and abuse and twisted mentality.

Somehow, with the school doors closing, it is the end of something for me--and for others like me. And for some (many, perhaps), it signifies the end of a cruel reign of sorts. And I believe they would be justified for seeing it as such.

As is common with grief, the "what might have beens" mingle with the reality. Sometimes we cry for what is lost, and sometimes we cry because we wish it might have been different. I grieve both simultaneously.

Very insightful, HnH.
Our kids grieved the Tambo closing.
It was a huge part of their lives.
It was the biggest cost of being on the field for us.
It had its great moments.
Its darker side is just coming into focus.

I am relieved to hear about Via closing. I find it ironic that a place that preached against wordly evils actually harbored and protected a pedophile. I have prayed that God would remind me of some good memories there. So many are tainted by the fear and horror I experienced. So for me to have conflicting thoughts about Via closing is like asking a prisoner set free if he will miss the prison that just burned down.

"My chains are gone, I've been set free..........". I love this song,

I do want to say that those of you that have had good memories, hold on to them. Some of you still bring a smile to my face when I think of you. You are my good memories, not that place.

SHUT IT DOWN AND MAY IT NEVER REOPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!