Dear Larry Brown,
We hear at Fanta Eagles have a newt progrum where we Adapt a Tribor. And I weld lick to Adapt You, sew thet u ken exspearence sum reel Dununder Kiwi Cultyour.
U probably dun even no where Kiwiland is. It is as fart awey from Australia as ken be. U no Australia ay? Yes, where Crossview is hiding, but dun go tell them, cuz they say they not New Tribors, they Crossviewers. O.k. so when u going 2 see Crossview, turn left and we small paradose country at bottum of glob. Beast u knot go too fart, ore u bee in South Pool and lonely Pinnguins there, know Tribers or Crossviewers.
Sew we ken git too no each other, and I be frank with u and u be Larry.
O.k. that haul from me, weighting hamberly four u to reply.
Kin regards
Bemused
P.s. Sorry butt smelling so bad, edumacated at Newmanohhe.
P.s.s. What is LGBTQI ? Leftist Guerrillas But Totally Quool Individuals? Nah you'll have to enlighten me
But then like Raz say, I been divorced so I outski. 
You'd have your pick of new BFFs.