MK forum

answer:


Sounds about right.

The people who should be outraged about this are the people who were misled, strung along and used for pro-NTM propaganda. A very lengthy and costly coat of whitewash has been applied to a sepulchre filled with putrid rot.

Is this not abuse, again, in another form?

Those whose opinion will matter most are those of you who are waiting for results, and not getting any. I am beyond frustrated with this so-called investigation, but it is not my voice that matters.

It is yours. Your voice that matters. Make your voice heard. If not here on this forum, raise your voice somewhere, some way.

If you don't, all those who want to believe that NTM is doing the thing, in the right way, and at the right pace, will continue to believe it.

Raz I am still beside you all the way. We keep fighting even if we see no victory. But as we fight we do see victories in those who are have been wounded as they gain their voices to tell their story.

I have come to the place I no longer think of the leaders of these organizations as Christians, they are wolves in sheep's clothing slaughtering many in the fold. There is no Christianity in their fold so I want to pull as many out as I can. It is not so hard to get the wounded out as those who haven't been wounded and still think everything is Christian.

So tempting to give up but I can't. But then I am no better than those I hold accountable.

Yeah, able to login, Ihart has no heart as far as I can see, just my opinion mind you. Full stop.

Sorry to not reply earlier . . .I did participate in the Via investigation and have not heard from iHart or anyone from NTM. Maybe because I was not a victim? Maybe because I still don't have a voice? My apologies for disappearing . . .I very much want to support this process. I started therapy the autumn after this forum started . . .my world has never gone back to where it was. Do any of you have a super-strong empathetic core? And yet feel profoundly loyal to the dumbest things? It has created a lot of cognitive dissonance . . .Just so you know, never start therapy lightly. It's brutal, brutal, brutal. Finally getting to core issues of FEAR. Am finally feeling some soul opening in a non religious way (if possible?). So, is this interesting to anyone? I've bored my over-exposed family with my brooding, and can just leave it at, "No, I haven't heard from the investigation." But that feels really negative, and anything negative still feels sinful to me, like discussing abuse. It's better to talk. I think.

Thank you, friends. Of course, our stories are all a little different. I didn't go to boarding school until I was almost 16, and was there for two years. Truly the best and worst of times. The grief I felt on my graduation day was unreal. I knew, with all my heart, that I would never see my friends again. And, except for a handful of occasions, I haven't. So, my most recent diagnosis is Self-Absorbed Disenfranchised Grief. The doctor who came up with that one studied a group of missionaries upon re-entry to Australia. Basically, the disenfranchised part means that we were not given a platform to hang our grief from. It's not supported by the structure. We were not to show any discontent with the life "God gave us." If we were sad, it was ok as long as you didn't dwell on it. The self-absorbed is not that you can't stop thinking or talking about your grief, but that you've personalized the grief and feel that you are the one to blame for the grief. Even knowing what I do and going to therapy, I still feel shame upon writing on this forum. I'm still a little girl in a Holly Hobby dress being taken from church to church, on display, afraid what Dad's going to say when we get back into the van. But, of course, being a sponge, also feeling my brothers' fear, anger, embarrassment, despair . . .my mother's anxious need to please, my dad's chaotic mind. No, I don't feel like a victim. I feel like a failure.

Your post so tugs at my heart, Allbetter. It makes me very sad to read that you feel like a failure. You are a survivor, not a failure. A survivor with strength, and a voice. I hope you can come to really believe that about yourself.

Yes, how many MK school graduations have we witnessed, where the MKs wept as though their world was ending. Because, in fact, it was. No one from the outside understands the dynamics involved. The bond in an MK school, forged through trauma, hardship, extreme closeness, and usually lots of laughter and memorable shared experiences is not like any public school experience in the US.

Self-Absorbed Disenfranchised Grief ... that is fascinating. There are parts of that that I can relate to. Yes, grief is not supported by the structure .... actually I would propose that that is true in the Christian world in general. Deep grief is often squelched by Bible verses and fluffy platitudes, and Christians who are visibly grieving are made to feel guilty. And missionaries and their children are definitely not allowed to feel disappointment in any aspect of their super-spiritual lives.

Shame ... wow, that's a big one. Perhaps you've helped me understand why so many who are apparently reading this forum do not write in it. Maybe they too feel the sense of shame that you speak of. Is it disloyal to express dissatisfaction with any part of our NTM experience? Or to talk about the grief, pain, betrayal or abuse we've experienced? Should we feel guilty for expressing doubts about everything, including our faith and our God?

Thank you for sharing these insights. I too was the little girl on display in church after church, standing on stage singing songs in a strange language, trying to be perfect ... to please my parents, please their supporters, please their mission, please their God.

Yeah .... this is making sense.

Thank you.