MK forum

Thank you, publius, for spelling that out much more clearly that I could. And you obviously have much more experience and knowledge in that area than I do.

Thanks OT for leading the way!

I was going to ask if we are looking at all this in dog years.

@ OT: Just tell me when and where we'll be going. It's approaching winter-time in the Northeastern parts, I could use some warm, Floridian sun! Already have my shades (and spear!) picked out.

Seriously though, all Old Testamental allusions aside, just tell me when and where . . . .

I have been watching, OT, for the male response to your challenge to the men who care about the many abuse survivors of NTM.

Silence (aside from Publius!).

I will speak for my husband. (I always do! Inside joke for those who've figured out my identity by now!)

My husband has not read any part of the Fanda Eagles website of the Forum. But he does listen when I tell him about what I have learned here.

My dear husband has expressed to me that he is very, very disappointed in himself for not being more perceptive, aggressive and protective when we were NTM missionaries in the Philippines with small children. It gives him great pain deep in his heart to be reminded of what our children and other children suffered there at the hands of co-workers we naively, blindly trusted.

My husband has a full-time job, and some age-related health issues. It takes all the physical and emotional stamina he has, just to keep up with his present responsibilities and maintain his sanity. He is physically and emotionally drained all the time.

It's not that he doesn't care. I think maybe it's that he cares so much that it's frightening to open up that old suitcase and begin to unpack it.

As parents, my husband and I failed to protect our children. The greatest responsibility and ministry we were ever entrusted with was the physical, emotional, spiritual and intellectual wellbeing of our children. We let our children down, we let ourselves down, and we let our Creator down.

That's a pretty heavy load to bear. Crushing.

I can't speak for other men, only this one who I love with all my heart.

He does care, and he has told me that he wants me to keep talking about developments. He gets so quiet and I feel like I bring this stuff up way too often, but I am so deeply enmeshed in it that it's on my mind much of the time. So I will keep him updated on what's happening (or not happening).

But he didn't read your challenge to the men. And I wonder how many other men saw it.

Probably very few.

Big, big sigh ....

I would like to give some advice if I might. Some I gave my husband and it has not been easy for him over the last year to hear it time and again but he does finally see what I mean. My advice is this...BE who YOU wish to BE. We all suffer even more wishing for others to BE who wish them to be when it is not who they are. I have learned this lesson hard myself. My husband has reached out when MKs have emailed him to only have them turn on him for an opinion. He continues to reach out when he feels they are in need of it and hopes they will be as sincere and compassionate but it is not to be.

It is not easy for others to stand up. It is not easy for them to even SEE the abuse let alone READ about it. Why? Because it affects them too much for starters. They go through many emotions from guilt because they did nothing when it happened or they should've known to shame at it being too late to help or quite simply not KNOWING how to help or feeling they are only one person and what can they do. It is not totally their fault but society as a whole. We were all raised this way...to turn the other cheek, deaf ear, to such horrendous acts. If we do, it will not touch us. This is the main reason such monsters as pedophiles continue to terrorize because silence and ignorance is on their side. When I say ignorance, I mean the lack of educating ourselves. And, quite frankly, we don't want to be educated on abuse.

Think about it. This is why 9 times out of 10 the response when someone hears you were abused is "I'm sorry." Instant guilt and confusion.

I DO wish more would come here and speak and support but I'm afraid it won't happen right away. The strength is within all of us here now.

Ignorance is such a huge factor for why abusers continue to get away with it. Why is it that more people don't educate themselves on sexual abuse and on abusers? All this spirituality talk thrown about just doesn't make everything better and it doesn't cover up ignorance. People need to be wise.