MK forum

Thinking tonight of how vulnerable, how scared, how little, the children were in the "Little Dorm" at Via. From the 1970's-1990's, the abuse was NOT talked about . . .because it was just the little kids. And the other missionary's were so grateful that someone would do the kid's laundry, make them eat their vegetables, sit still in chapel . . .that they would overlook the pieces that didn't fit together. But it was not just a lack of attention, it was also unwillingness to undergo hard questions, discomfort, strife for the sake of the little dorm. The kids would come and go according to furloughs, so next year would be better. They might give the parents of the "trouble-maker" some advice before they brought them back. There was always another missionary who was "in charge, " that they would defer to. Via failed to safeguard the children in every possible way.

We are still waiting on the report. I hope that it will reflect the pure terror of those days, from the eyes of the children. How what happened there, set things in motion, that are still in effect.

To the survivors of the "Little Dorm:"

Please know that we are proud of you. We love you. We are behind you.

This intrigues me. I've heard from people in my past and they say they didn't know about the abuse going on. But then a bit of evidence comes out that quite a few people did know and it gets very confusing.
The men at Numonohi bragged about the strange things they did and if they were telling me about it, they sure would have been telling every other Tom, Dick and Larry, because I was at the bottom of the pecking order. Of course they didn't say "I'm a sexual abuser", but what one did quite openly brag about was his wandering hands, another about his strange method of physical punishment and another about an incident that under NTM rules was sexual abuse. One used to brag about how he could intimidate children so they could not mentally function, to his classes.
And yet I'm supposed to believe that no one saw or heard anything! Kids must have gone home damaged and acting strange, or not wanting to go back to the boarding schools. Are we supposed to believe that the parents were so out of tune with their children that they didn't ask why?
The more I have looked into this mess, the more people I find out have been drawn into a web of lies and for what? To protect some old friends, or to protect themselves? Parents who still won't talk to their adult children about the abuse, that makes no sense.

Of course many adults knew what was going on, they just turned a blind eye.

Yes, a lot of parents were and are, very out of tune with their children. When you see everything as a "sinful nature" then that binds up any puzzlement in a neat and tidy package, that you can pray over. And that makes it better because, "it's in the Lord's hands now."

And all the kids were scared, so that's what kids looked like. Scared. The "fear of God" was put in them.

The mothers and women in the NTM system didn't have a voice. The dads always had to defer to someone in leadership. And no open fights were encouraged or you were "out of fellowship."

Like many abusers, Frank showed different sides to different people. He was very helpful about menial tasks--he woke very early, opened gates, took deliveries, drove to the city frequently . . .while other missionaries fussed with linguistics, theology, conferences. So he came across as different, in some ways better or approachable. And his wife was the sweetest person alive. We adored her.

And the parents were so isolated from other parents, that there was little time to talk. We were 10 hours away from our parents. The first time we went home on Christmas vacation, our folks had moved, and we went back to an entirely different house and neighborhood. We had moved so much that there were very few personal possessions in our rooms. I laid down on a strange bed, in a strange room, and felt so weird. I immediately missed my dorm sisters and couldn't wait to see them again. But we couldn't talk about that, because mom and dad had a hard time telling the other kids apart and it confused them. So we really talked in different languages, and when we finally got comfortable together again, it was time to go back.

Then there was the problem of words. Shame was associated with every word choice having to do with a body part . . .as in "I'll beat your hiney, til it's black and blue, and red all over." Or "Get your rear end over here." "Butt" was a bad word.

So what does a child say in those circumstances? All of the words have an embargo on them. And you could get punished for saying the word or being disrespectful towards "uncle ---".

And a child wants so much to please the parents, and doesn't want mommy to cry or daddy to get mad.

At Via, the Puritan tone was very strong. A righteousness that precluded doubt in yourself or your co-workers.

This is NTM's listed phone number 407-323-3430

Don't think e-mails are being answered at the moment, so probably a phone call is better.

What a good guy you are! Thanks, Bemused!

The problem with phone calls is that they can be denied and there's no record of who said what. And, as Bemused noted, emails are being completely ignored.

Unfortunately, the only recourse may be a certified letter from your attorney to theirs.

Or drop in personally, preferably en masse. Just take camera for proof, smiling is optional!

Maybe we should work to get the MK SafetyNet conference next year moved to Sanford.