MK forum

Thanks for your wise words. The level of suffering this kid has had every day, is gut-wrenching, hold your breath, hard to believe in the sovereignty of God stuff. It deserves to be acknowledged. Thank you again for helping me thru the first weeks with him.

Suffering? Sometimes I wonder if there is anything else. Lossing a husband and several grandbabies, one at full term. I have watched my daughter knock at heaven's door twice in the last couple of years. I quietly talked into her ear as two trauma teams worked on her trying to save her life. I don't understand why so much is piled on one child while the other two enjoy good health. Pray for the family as my daughter goes into more major surgery this next week. (26th) In the last 5 years, as the doctors say," only 1% have a problem with this treatment...." She is that 1%. It is extreemly hard to see a child suffer in any way. She also struggles with the fact that she looks so sickly and no longer the vibrant person she used to be.

I'll pray that God will restore her vitality, and give you an overflow chamber for your aching heart.

@ dbarney and allbetter.............will be praying too for both of your circumstances. The heart hurts when our children suffer and it hurts when little ones suffer so greatly.

Will continue praying for all those wounded by NTM in so many ways. I am not, nor was I with NTM but am a MK from another mission so your struggles are very close and dear.

lara

dbarney, praying that God will give the doctors wisdom and skill beyond human understanding and He will give you and your family grace and peace.

Witness to soul suffering? The past24 years and counting...

My husband and I drove to see his MK parents in the retirement community last weekend. His depression has been debilitating ever since. He wakes up every morning in tears.

My daughter hates her grandparents for all the did to her dad as a child, and even more so for their continued refusal to accept any responsibility for the pain their chosen way of life has caused their children.

My in-laws wanted to talk about my husband's childhood, but only in self-congratulatory tones that celebrated what heroic pioneers they were. When they asked my husband if he remembered being picked up after his first year at boarding school, and he said no but I remember what it felt like, my FIL just breezed right past him, talking about how smart my husband was a kid. Then my FIL mentioned that his oldest son ran away and wouldn't even talk to him that day, how odd, but then breezed past that too. I asked after the middle son (the one so damaged by rejection its scary) and my FIL famously said, "Him? I don't remember him." The anger on my face could not be misread. The pain on my husband's face could not be misread. Yet my FIL doesn't know and doesn't want to know.

This happened time and time again. A painful situation? FIL would answer, "Well, I don't remember that but (brag brag brag)" Repeatedly, he just changed the subject to something that he thought made him look good.

FIL wanted to show us off to his peers, but we only went to the dining hall once. We REFUSE to go to church with him so he can show off his son and me because he thinks we are a good reflection upon him. The man cares nothing for my husband (his son!)- not his feelings, not his thoughts, not his heart. He only cares about how my husband reflects on him as a man-o-gawd. *barf*

Yesterday my husband told me he wishes he had died in the jungle, so then his dad would think about him more and he could have enhanced his dad's status as a martyr and maybe his dad would like the memory of him at least.

Yeah, I'm a witness to soul suffering.

this makes me so incredibly sad. I hope your husband is getting professional help. Horrific! I'd like to give FIL a piece of my mind. What an empty suit. To focus on trying to get through that veneer is definitely hopeless. Easy to say to pay parents no regard but without professional help, I'm doubtful real healing and strength can begin. Praying

So terribly heartbreaking, shadowspring. Words fail me to express how wrong this all is, and how blind and ignorant this older couple is.

I also can relate, and can tell you that they are not the only veteran missionaries who think this way and act this way.

Deep in my heart I KNOW this is not the way it is supposed to be. These people feel a smug pride in the way they served God so sacrificially, but I KNOW God is not honored by their parenting. And what greater gift have any of us ever been given than the gift of our own precious children?

What does it profit a man, if he has the reputation of being the greatest missionary ever, and fails to love his own flesh and blood the way God intended for us to love our children: unconditionally and forever? No matter what.

Your story makes me so sad and I am deeply grieved for the toll this takes on your husband and on you and your kids.

We've missed you shadowspring. Thank you for writing. I imagine you get tired of the emotional hold your in laws have on your husband . . .it must be how we were raised, because I think of my folks constantly . . .haven't lived with them for more then 2 months since I was 15, but no one affects me more emotionally . . .my husband loves to hang out in the kitchens and basements at our family get-togethers and commiserate with the "out-laws" as they call themselves . . .the general consensus is definitely that we're a difficult bunch . . .take care of yourself

I'm not really back. I was only lurking today because of just coming back from visiting my in-laws.

Thank you for your kind words and well wishes. Yes, we are both in therapy.

I am pretty sure ya'll won't really want me here. I don't believe in missions anymore AT ALL. I think it's one big stinking work of the flesh, and that what Jesus really commanded us in the Great Commission was "as you go, preach the gospel". I don't think anyone is called to do anything extraordinary or go anywhere they wouldn't normally go, just love God and love our neighbor as we love ourselves while we live our daily lives.

You have no idea how many so-called "cuss" words I would freely use if this were a forum where one could be free. But it's not. You may be better people than my in-laws, but you're still missionaries, and that really angers me A LOT.