ornerythornery: i dont mean to be taking away from all that you are doing, but it is only here that i read what you quoted from Red Baron so i am posting as a reply...quoting Red Baron: Why arent' you thankful that things where not worse? You dont' here that girl who got gagged and soddominized in Aritado whining do you?
To Red Barron: I cannot even begin to express how much my blood ran ice cold reading your words. That girl, now an adult, has not been whining because until now, was convinced no one would listen or believe her. If they (those in leadership) truly cared, truly wanted to help, they would have listened when the suspicions were first raised. They would have done everything in their power RIGHT THEN to right the wrong as much as they could. But it was not done. Yes, the abuser was sent Stateside. Yes, a counselor was brought in, but that counselor was never even introduced to her except as a guest who was sitting across from her at the dinner table. That was the introduction. It was never suggested, encouraged, or even asked if she wanted to speak with the counselor. And the cruelest of all? THE COUNSELOR WAS A MAN!!! How, in any logical thinking, would you expect a girl, who had endured unspeakable acts done to her, how could anyone in their right mind expect her to speak with a male counselor?! Where was the wisdom in that decision? That girl suffered in silence because the abuser had convinced her that to speak up would to betray his trust and her parents trust, and break a sacred vow to God. That girl believed in the leadership and was ultimately betrayed. NTM Leadership will get through the investigations, they may be battered and bruised but they will get through. That girl's life was shattered into a million pieces. Those she trusted, believed in, sought advice from, those she believed would protect her instead betrayed her and left her alone to pick up the pieces, and they never looked back, not once. They didn't see her waking up in the middle of the night, shaking with fear because of nightmares. They didn't see the broken relationships because of the inability to trust. They don't see her now, as an adult, still looking over her shoulder, scared beyond words, that the abuser might be lurking around the next corner, in the shadows. They don't see her struggling daily, to hold the pieces together, trying to make a life out of pieces that don't fit. They don't hear the questions going through her mind, wondering what she did so wrong that no one would help her, that no one even seemed to care enough to ask and truly mean, "how are you doing?" They don't see the cold sweats, the anxiety attacks, the panick attacks, the thoughts of suicide, the overwhelming urge to intoxicate oneself beyond comprehension just to be able to FORGET... And you say "You don't see her whining?" YOU DIDN'T SEE HER AT ALL!!! Red Baron, are you a parent? Whether a foster parent, a biological parent, a god parent, or at all in the care of children? Are you saying and believing that if a child in your care, or in your life, were to come forward to you about being sexually abused that you would in essence tell them, "It's okay that those things happened to you. It's okay that your life is forever changed, shattered, and broken. It's okay the person abused you. It's okay because they said they are sorry." You're telling me that you would be able to look a child in the eye, seeing the innocence gone, seeing the fear, the shame, the guilt, the questions, the brokenness- you would be able to see all that and tell them with all seriousness, "It's okay." Because what you are writing is screaming loud and clear those very words. You said, "why can't you be thankful things aren't worse?" WORSE!? Ask that girl - at one point DEATH would have been a welcome relief from the burden of what she carried. Everyone can SAY they are sorry. Everyone can ACT the part of being remorseful when there are people looking or when they get caught. But what about when no one is looking? What then? Do they sigh with relief and think, "that was close but I got away with it." Only God can judge the heart, this is true, but actions should reflect a repentant heart. Neither running away or waiting to be caught is showing remorse or repentance.
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