I wrote this the day I read the Grace Report: "Hi, I'm an MK from NTM. The same kind of atmosphere that was fostered at Fanda by the leadership happened at my school. Everything was done in a very legalistic manner (up until 2004-2005 when I felt a huge weight lift from the environment of the school, when I finally felt accepted, nurtured and loved by my dorm parents). <Side note: these dorm parents were actually kicked off the field of Senegal for speaking up about the abuses at Fanda.> I find myself revisiting the memories (good and bad) of my 8 years of boarding school (from the age of 7 to the age of 19). I was called to be a missionary to a different people group and I was ostracized within my school environment. I was made fun of, pointed out, etc... by my dorm dad for not wanting to eat a certain kind of meat. When I tried to date someone from the school, my every move was scrutinized and supervised. My time with him was limited to an hour a day in a public place (specifically 3:30 PM -4:30 PM). He was not allowed to even help me with my chores. Our phone conversation was limited to 10 minutes. When we figured out a way around this "rule" (walky-talkies
) and when my dorm-mom found out, she immediately wrote a letter to my parents telling them that I was disobeying and being "rebellious." This was before even speaking to me about it. <Side note: Some of you older MKs from Via might remember the 15 minutes of work detail you would have to do to clean the classrooms and cafeteria, etc... except when I was there, there was fewer students and the same size of school so we each had 1 or 2 and sometimes 3 classrooms to clean (dust, mop, and wax if it was Saturday).>
When I was in the little-dorm, my phone conversations were monitored by my dorm parents. I had many hard things to speak to my parents about because I had many difficulties. Unlike others, I didn't let this stop me, lol. Some of the things: I was put into a very rigid environment both in the classroom and outside. I was not allowed to go outside to play until I finished hours of homework. I was supposed to write a journal in class about my life outside of the class. In an effort to tell my teacher how much I hated the incredible!!! amount of homework that she gave me, I wrote the same exact thing in my journal each day. I went home did homework, did piano. Ate dinner, did homework. Had devotions, did homework. Next day, repeat. Outside of the classroom, my dorm parents would make us sweep, mop and buff (with an electric buffer) our rooms every morning. I was actually shorter than the buffer and one day I plugged the buffer into the wall and it hit be in the throat causing it to swell. My dorm dad was visibly upset that this happened and later told us we did not have to buff our rooms with the buffer.< Side note: We were only required to do so by hand on Saturdays.> I remember my dorm dad twisting the ears of his dogs (as a way to punish them) that they would pee on the floor and he would be laughing as he did it. I realize now that we were subject to watching animal abuse. I remember thinking, is this what he will do to me? I remember we had a sleepover on the patio and one of the girls got sick and threw up on the ground. The dorm dad was so upset he yelled at her and made her clean up her own throw up, even while she was still sick. I remember that year I was also having a huge growth spurt and my clothes (which I had just bought while on furlough) were getting smaller (including dresses). My dorm dad complained that I was indecent and my dorm mom made me give away the majority of my beautiful dresses. She replaced them with one dress (which was later, too short on me). My pants were high-water and the kids would make fun of me. My sandals broke (I only got one a year) and so I had to wear sneakers with my dresses to class. One day I remember specifically getting in trouble for being late to chapel because I had forgotten to change out of my flip-flops (forbidden in school) so I ran back to the dorm to change into my shoes and was late. If we didn't have our rooms picked up properly we would be grounded. If we didn't say specifically "So-and-so, could you please pass me the ketchup (or whatever)" at the dinner table we were given 15 minutes of work detail. If we came to dinner late, for every minute late, we would get 5 minutes of work detail. Work detail usually entailed picking up rotten mangoes or something equally disgusting. Needless to say, this routine almost put me under and broke the beautiful child-like spirit that God had put in my heart. Unfortunately, I fought back with my tongue. I spoke out harshly against my dorm parents and gossiped about them behind their backs. After my dorm parents had a terrible accident, I thought I was being punished for the things I had said about them. After this time, I went into a deep depression. I would cry myself to sleep every night. I didn't know who to turn to except God, so thats what I did. I read my Bible constantly. This is where I found beautiful solace and strength. God knew my heart. It took years for me to recover my personality (extroverted,compassionate and servant-hearted), but God slowly transformed me. The best year of my life was spent with my parents after I graduated from high school. I decided to spend the year with them and I never regretted that moment. I learned so much from their characters in that one year than I learned in all my years at boarding school. They always showed me how I could be a help to them, and that I was never a hindrance. I believe that has helped me in dealing with the many memories of boarding school. I realized my parents had never wished to place us at boarding school but that it simply was policy at the time. I believe the best place for a child is with their parents, until they themselves are old enough to decide whether they would like to go to boarding school or not."
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