When I read the Fanda report, it tore me apart, not just for them, but because it was all too familiar to what I experienced at Tambo! It made me cry! I had thought I had closed that chapter in the story of my life. I think what made it complicated is that there were many good experiences too, and by acknowledging the bad things that happened, I did not want to discredit the good things that I remember about life there. Finally, I sat down and wrote out five pages about the negative things I experienced while I was there, and that was simply what happened, not how it has affected my life since. I was not sexually abused but experienced most of the other abuses, and I know without a doubt that since all the other abuses were taking place there, sexual abuse was happening too. When I graduated from highschool, I wrote letters to some of the people who treated me the worst, expressing my sadness and anger at what had been done, and letting them know that while I will never forget it...I refuse to let them control me because of what they have done. No one responded back, and at least one of those families is still working full time with NTM. Another teacher, that was particularly abusive is working with another organization teaching in Mexico. The dormparent is no longer with NTM. I would like to see these people held accountable for what they did to children, and I know that some day all these things will be exposed in front of the completely fair and righteous Judge! Now I am trying to raise my own children in a more Godly environment where they can experience God's love. I am struggling to get it right...it is hard to not expect from them what was expected of me at that age. But I hope they see a person who admits it when I have failed and allows them the freedom of failing too as they are learning and growing. I hope they see someone who is learning how to love God and not just legalistically follow the LAW!
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