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PostPosted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 1:40 pm 
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The following was sent to a Fanda survivor:

FANDA REPORT RESPONSE SUMMARY

Throughout this past year, the NTM USA Executive Board has prayerfully sought to take appropriate action on recommendations given us in the GRACE report on abuse that happened at Fanda in the 1980s and 1990s. Personally, for us who have been heavily in the midst of this, we’ll never be the same.
Seeing the devastating results of past sin on former MKs has greatly impacted us. It has deepened our commitment to be vigilant against such abuse ever happening again in NTM.

The following summary of NTM’s responses to the GRACE recommendations is neither the beginning nor the end of our efforts at looking back and reckoning with past failure. More needs to be done.
We are committed to staying the course with independent investigations seeking to identify any remaining issues that need further action. We are also committed to continuing to improve our efforts to value and protect children through screening, training and application of our Child Protection policy wherever our members minister.

New Tribes Mission has maintained close communication with GRACE in working to comply with all three general recommendations in GRACE’s report on child abuse that took place at Fanda School in Senegal in the 1980s and 1990s.

GRACE summarized the heart of the report in three general recommendations:

“New Tribes Mission must demonstrate repentance for the sins committed at the Fanda boarding school.”
“New Tribes Mission must distance its name, and the greater name of Christ, from any personnel who directly or indirectly harmed children.”
“New Tribes Mission must take immediate and continuing action to lessen if not eliminate the possibility that children will be abused in the future.”

NTM USA and GRACE worked together to clarify and implement their recommendations. GRACE was made aware of all instances in which NTM was following the spirit and intent of the recommendations and not the precise letter. Former students and NTM members have been informed of the specific actions taken in regard to each of the personnel named in the report.

Recommendation: “New Tribes Mission must demonstrate repentance for the sins committed at the Fanda boarding school.”

NTM USA has established a communications channel for former students.
An MK Fund has been established by NTM USA to assist former students with costs including but not limited to mental health counseling and treatment, medical treatment and medications.

With GRACE’s consent, New Tribes Mission USA has chosen to mediate rather than arbitrate with former students. That process is under way. Mediation leaves both sides with options if they are unable to reach an agreement, whereas arbitration is binding from the time the process begins.

NTM USA has established a means to facilitate professional, impartial and independent investigations of past abuse cases at boarding schools in NTM. The first investigation is under way.

At such point as there is a consensus among the former students on a repentance retreat, follow-up to the retreat, or a memorial, NTM USA will work with the former students on those recommendations.

Recommendation: “New Tribes Mission must distance its name, and the greater name of Christ, from any personnel who directly or indirectly harmed children.”

NTM has taken action on GRACE’s recommendations regarding all 20 of the personnel named in the report.

NTM USA sought and received clarification from GRACE in regard to actions against people who were in leadership at the time and not implicated personally for child abuse. Most of these people are now retired and some live in an NTM retirement center. GRACE recommended they be retroactively terminated.

New Tribes Mission USA sought clarification of whether retroactive termination meant removing them from retirement status and evicting them from NTM USA retirement facilities. GRACE’s response was that the report was not meant to displace retirees from their homes, and that leaders who were retroactively terminated could continue on retirement status. Notice of retroactive termination and the reason for it was put into their files, as recommended.

GRACE was also informed of and in agreement with allowing one man who was in field leadership at the time of the abuse, and was still in active service in Senegal, to retire for similar reasons and under similar conditions.

Although former leaders contributed to the MK Fund for a number of months, as recommended by the report, New Tribes Mission USA has chosen to take over financial responsibility for their contributions, using investment income.

Recommendations in regard to three personnel who were members of NTM Canada were referred to NTM Canada.

In one case, the report recommended that an NTM member be dismissed. After the report was released, GRACE did additional follow-up and supports the decision of NTM to not dismiss the member.

Recommendation: “New Tribes Mission must take immediate and continuing action to lessen if not eliminate the possibility that children will be abused in the future.”

Two of the three specific recommendations are complete, and the other is under way.
GRACE reviewed NTM’s child protection policies, and called them “thorough and thoughtful.”

Improvements based on GRACE’s recommendations were approved earlier this year. The most significant change is that NTM no longer investigates child abuse in-house. All investigations of contemporary reports of child abuse will be conducted by independent investigators.

The boarding school policy referred to by GRACE in this section of the report was changed years before the report was issued. Missionaries are not required to send their children to boarding school; it is just one of the options available. Fewer than 9 percent of NTM dependents live away from their parents at boarding schools, and are primarily junior high school and high school age.

A leadership review is also under way, and is being developed in coordination with experienced leadership professionals outside NTM. NTM USA today is committed to a grace-oriented servant leadership style, and is encouraging that style through ongoing leadership development, accountability and member care.

In compliance with GRACE’s recommendation in their Report of August 2010, NTM chose to remove Mr. Ross from “any and all work and/or responsibilities relating to any form of child abuse matters within New Tribes Mission.”

Desiring to be transparent with each decision we make, we realize the former emphatic statement of “any and all responsibility” has hindered our child protection efforts.

Scott continues as our In House Counsel and there is significant overlap in the child prevention/allegation and legal areas. Scott’s intense focus and study in this area has made him a much sought-after expert within the Christian community. His efforts since 1998 have resulted in strong contributions that greatly benefitted children throughout many missionary and church communities. In light of this, we decided to consult his expertise in child protection matters as the need arises. NTM maintains its position to outsourcing independent investigations by qualified non NTM investigators for abuse allegations.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 23, 2011 1:37 am 
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Anybody got any idea what happens to us down at the bottom of the globe? We'd like to be included with our fellow MKs, especially as we feel we have formed a common bond with many of you in the recent months.

Merry Christmas, hope it ain't to cold for some of you, cuz it sure ain't Downunder.

Cheers

The Downunder MKs 8-)


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 9:48 am 
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Where is the best place to post this?


Forgiveness is not

1. Approving or Diminishing
2. Enabling Sin
3. Denying a Wrongdoing
4. Waiting for an Apology
5. Forgetting
6. Ceasing to Confront the Pain
7. A One Time Event
8. Neglecting Justice
9. Trusting
10. Reconciliation

I find that Pastor Mark Driscoll's explanation on this is very accurate and helpful.
(See original post with video at http://blog.marshillchurch.org/2010/09/27/10-things-forgiveness-is-not/)

And I say this … with a tremendous sense of love and empathy and compassion and hope for you. But you need to forgive that person or those people who have wounded you most deeply. …

Because I think many Christians do not rightly ascertain what forgiveness truly is and is not, and so I’ve got a long list for you:

1. Forgiveness is not approving or diminishing sin.
It’s not saying, “Well, it’s okay. Nobody’s perfect. Everybody makes a mistake,” or, “It’s not a really big deal. Worse things have happened.” No, it is a big deal! It’s so big that God died for it. So don’t dishonor the cross of Jesus and approve or diminish something that required the death of God.

2. Forgiveness is not enabling sin.
I see this frequently with wives who misunderstand submission. “Okay, the husband is the head of the home, he’s supposed to lovingly lead.” Great. He’s supposed to lovingly lead by following Jesus, and if he’s not following Jesus, the wife shouldn’t follow him because her ultimate allegiance is to Jesus and the first job description of the wife is to be a helper. And sometimes husbands are foolish. They make stupid decisions financially. They make reckless decisions spiritually. They buck godly, spiritual authority trying to correct them. And in the name of forgiving them, the wife comes along and enables him. She just is complicit in his rebellion and sin and folly.

You can forgive someone without enabling their sin, participating in it. You can have a friend or a family member who is an addict, for example, you can forgive them without enabling them. Forgiving is not enabling. Forgiving can even include confronting and rebuking, and sometimes it must.

3. Forgiveness is not denying a wrongdoing.
“It didn’t happen. I forgot all about it. I just moved on. I pretend like it never happened. I didn’t let it affect me.” That’s not true. It’s not the denial of a wrongdoing. Forgiveness is not denying that you were sinned against.

4. Forgiveness is not waiting for an apology.
Some of you say, “I will forgive them as soon as they say they’re sorry.” I hate to break it to you, some people are never going to apologize. Some people are going to continue in their destructive, rebellious, and foolish life course. Some people will be stubborn and religious and self-righteous and they’ll never confess or admit. Some people will move away, you’ll never speak with them again. Some people will die before they articulate repentance. And so you forgive them before they apologize.

5. Forgiveness is not forgetting.
This is one of the great Christian myths. “Well, we forgive and forget.” No we don’t! You can’t forgive and forget. You can’t. You were raped, molested, abandoned, beaten, abused, cheated on, betrayed, lied about. “Forget it”? You can’t forget it. It’s impossible. And some will appeal to Bible books like Jeremiah, where it says that God will remember their sin no more. And they’ll say, “See? God doesn’t remember our sin.” And let me tell you this, God does remember our sin. He’s omniscient, he’s all knowing, he forgets nothing, he knows everything. Right? It’s not like God’s in heaven going, “I forgot a whole bunch of things.” He would cease to be God.

What does it mean that God remembers their sin no more? It means that God chooses not to interact with us based upon what we’ve done, but instead interact with us based upon what Christ has done. It means that he chooses to see us as new creations and he chooses to work for a new future. It means that at the forefront of God’s thinking toward us is not all of the sin that we’ve committed, but all the work that Jesus has done for us and in us and, by grace, will do through us. But it’s not like God has no idea what you did yesterday. He forgets nothing.

And I see this sometimes in counseling, where one person will sin against another person and they’ll say, “Well, you shouldn’t even remember that.” It’s impossible. I had one situation recently. I looked at the husband, I was like, “You slept with her best friend. She’s not going to forget that ever. Now, she can choose not to interact with you in light of that. She could choose to forgive you. She can choose to not be stewing on that every minute of every day and seething. But she’s never going to forget that this happened because it was cataclysmic.”

6. Forgiveness is not ceasing to feel the pain.
Just because it hurts doesn’t mean you’ve failed to forgive. It still hurts. Some of you have had horrible things done to you. Horrible things done to you. With all sincerity, I’m sorry. And it would be so cruel to say, “Well, if you’ve forgiven them, it shouldn’t hurt anymore.” Well, sure it does. See, we don’t hear in the Bible that all the tears are wiped from our eyes until the resurrection of the dead in the final unveiling of the kingdom. It means people are crying all the way to Jesus. It still hurts. It’s okay for it to bother you.

7. Forgiveness is not a onetime event.
It’s not like you forgive someone and it’s over. Sometimes, they keep sinning, so you need to keep forgiving. Or sometimes you forgive them, but there are emotional moments where it feels fresh.

There’s one woman that I know, her husband committed adultery on her. And he earnestly repented and she honestly forgave him and they have sought biblical counseling and they have worked it out. But she confesses there are times, sometimes even at church, where her husband is doing nothing wrong, and it’s been some years, that she’ll just see him talking to another woman, maybe even a mutual friend, and just the sight of him with another woman causes her to feel all of that betrayal again and it rises up in her soul. And she needs to forgive him again for what he did in the past. Sometimes forgiveness is something that is regularly required.

8. Forgiveness is not neglecting justice.
You can forgive someone and call the police and have them arrested. You can forgive someone and testify against them in court. Romans 13 says to obey the government. They’d say, “I thought you forgave me.” “I do. I forgive you. But you’ve committed a crime. You’ve broken the law. And so these are the consequences.” If you’ve stolen, you need to pay it back. If you’ve lied, you need to go tell the truth. It’s not a neglecting of justice. You can forgive and pursue justice.

9. Forgiveness is not trusting.
I hear this all the time. “My dad molested me. He said he’s sorry. Can he babysit my kids?” Answer? No way. No way. “My boyfriend or husband hit me, but he said he’s sorry. Should we just pick up where we left off and keep going?” No way. See, trust is built slowly. It’s lost quickly. Trust is built slowly.

Those of you, now hear this, I’m your pastor who loves you. Let me put an airbag around this. For those of you who are naive and gullible, trust is to be given slowly, lost quickly. Some of you give your whole heart away and never take it back. Give it away slowly and if someone sins against you grievously, trust has to be rebuilt over time. It’s not trusting. It’s not trusting. Some people can be trusted in time with fruit and keeping with repentance after they’ve gotten help. Other people should never be trusted because the risk is simply too high. This is particularly true with children who are vulnerable. We need to be exceedingly careful with who we trust.

10. Forgiveness is not reconciliation.
It’s not that you’re friends and you hang out and everything’s okay. You’re close and it’s back to normal. Not at all. It takes one person to repent. It takes one person to forgive. It takes two people to reconcile. That’s why Paul says, “In as much as it is possible with you, seek to live at peace with all men.” Here’s what he’s saying. Do your best, but you can’t be at peace with everyone. But if it doesn’t work out, make sure it’s their fault, not yours. Right? It takes two people to reconcile.

This is where I’ve got a friend right now who’s in the midst of a divorce because she is acknowledging her own sin, her husband really is the problem, and she’s saying, “I love you, I forgive you. If you’ll meet with counselors, if you’ll submit to the authority in our church, I extend a hand to you and we can reconcile and save this marriage.” He’s saying, “No. I don’t think I did anything wrong. I don’t think I need to listen to the pastor. I don’t need to meet with a counselor. I don’t need to listen to anyone. It’s your fault.” There will be no reconciliation. Not with a man like that. Repentance takes one, forgiveness takes one, reconciliation takes two.
Forgiveness and Justice

Now, in hearing this, some of you, like me, will have strong sense of justice. You say, “But if I forgive them, where’s the justice?” Justice comes, friends, ultimately from Jesus. Either they will come to faith in Christ and you will get your justice at the cross, where Jesus’ blood was shed in their place for their sins as Jesus’ blood was shed in your place for your sin, because Lord knows we’ve hurt people too, or, if they remain unrepentant, your forgiving them does not mean that they are ultimately forgiven.

They’ve sinned against you and God, and as you forgive them, you’re leaving them to Jesus. And if they live in a state of unrepentance and they don’t come to Jesus for forgiveness, they will stand before Jesus in the end. And they will be judged and sentenced to the conscious eternal torments of hell to suffer forever for all of their sin, paying their eternal debt to the living God.

So, in forgiving someone, we are not neglecting justice. We’re leaving it to the perfect judge to enact perfect justice, either at the cross or in hell, but either way justice will be served. And we forgive in light of that.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:25 pm 
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This may be a repeat, but worth re-reading.


Thoughts on Forgiveness

This is an excerpt from the final report of the Independent Committee of Inquiry, Presbyterian Church (USA), printed in September 2002. The authors are Howard Beardslee, Lois Edmund, James Evinger, Nancy Poling, Geoffrey Stearns, and Carolyn Whitfield. This excerpt is used with permission. The ICI was charged with investigating reports of sexual abuse of MKs attending American Presbyterian Congo Mission between 1945 and 1978. You can read the full report here: Final Report of the Independent Committee of Inquiry.

Why can’t they all just forgive and forget?
As victims begin the long, painful road to healing, many among their friends and family urge them to “forgive and forget.” Why is this so important? For those who served as missionaries to the Congo, it may be related to their desire to hold on to fond memories of their years on the field. It may be because they don’t want to be reminded that a colleague they respected engaged in such destructive behaviour.

There is perhaps another reason. Often we call upon people to forgive and forget because we are uncomfortable with anger, particularly if it is directed at someone we care about. Or if we ourselves feel some responsibility. Anger, however, is an appropriate response to abuse. Some women the ICI interviewed have spent a lifetime coping with eating disorders, alcoholism, low self-esteem, and depression because a person they dearly loved and trusted sexually abused them. He betrayed them, and they are furious. The missionary community did not protect them, and they are furious. Their anger is appropriate. Sexual abuse is a traumatic blow to the God-given human dignity with which every person is born. In awakening to the abuse, anger and rage are a first step toward regaining that dignity and self-esteem. Anger is an important step toward healing.

Of course, a third reason why a Christian community would admonish victimes to forgive is because it is what Jesus taught. Believers, of course, cannot discount the biblical imperative. However, Christian advocates for the abused have been engaged in biblical study related to forgiveness. Many have concluded that while Jesus taught forgiveness, he also taught that we must confront evil and commit ourselves to justice, especially when the poor and vulnerable are concerned. Careful reading reveals, too, that on the cross Jesus did not directly forgive the people who were crucifying him; he left that up to God. “Father, forgive them,” he said.

An Old Testament story can further guide our understanding of forgiveness. At the end of the narrative about Joseph and his brothers, after Jacob’s death, Joseph meets with his brothers, who sold him into slavery. When they beseech him to forgive them, he does not say he will; rather he asks them, “Am I in place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me…I will provide for you and your little ones” (Gen. 50: 19-20). He made no statement of forgiveness or of love; rather he pledged not to let them starve.

Confession, too, is an important part of the Christian tradition. Confession precedes forgiveness. How does one forgive an abuser who never admitted wrong? How does one forgive a person who is no longer living? When there is no admittance of guilt or when a face-to-face encounter is not possible, the victim may have to reach a point of acceptance rather than forgiveness. Acceptance is not resignation. It implies a state of inner peace. Whether the end is forgiveness or acceptance, the journey is painful, tedious, and long.

When victims hear their parents, “aunts,” and “uncles” tell them they should forgive and forget, they may feel re-victimized. The request tells them that their “family” does not understand the trauma they have had to live with. Those who call for forgiving and forgetting are saying that they would feel more comfortable if the wrong done was covered up or if the victim would at least pretend it was forgotten. Hearing people they love tell them to forgive and forget can also add to victims’ feelings of guilt. If they are unable to forgive, then something must be wrong with them.

Those who work in the field of abuse speak of “cheap grace,” that is forgiveness that is offered too quickly and easily. Cheap grace is forgiveness that is extended even when there has been no remorse or compensation for the harm that was done. Cheap grace is phony reconciliation that would require victims to forget what happened to them, even when the scars of abuse are daily reminders.

Marie Fortune, a noted advocate for those who have been abused, speaks of forgiveness as “the last step.” A precondition for forgiveness, she says, is justice for the victim. This inquiry is a step toward justice, but only a step.
Working through the wounds of abuse is for many a lifetime endeavor, which means that arriving at the last step, “forgiveness,” may take years. Through therapy, accompanied by family and friends, victims take the long journey toward wholeness and a renewed relationship with God. At the same time family and friends pursue the causes of justice and restitution.

The pressure exerted on victims to “forgive and forget” is healthful neither for them nor for the church. Forgiveness can not be mandated; one who has suffered cannot simply be told to forgive.
Neither is it a theological rule to be followed; it is a gift. Forgiveness is a gift that comes as a part of the healing journey.

Also, please read Forgive and Forget: Preventing Healing and Protecting Abusers.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 12:42 pm 
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Good thoughts on forgiveness!

Also, I recently heard from a current NTMer who told me she is praying for my healing. The implication I heard was that when I get really "healed", I will stop posting on Fanda Eagles.

I'm having a hard time with this message I'm hearing from her. I'm not dead yet. I think I have come a long way on my journey to healing, but I still have eyes, ears, and brain ... and a computer.

Yes, world, you will still be hearing from me.

But that's not because I'm not healing.


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PostPosted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 1:33 pm 
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Is being told to "forgive and forget" code for "don't dig any deeper, you might discover what I or someone else I'm trying to protect has been up to?"
It was a phrase used constantly in my childhood and now it is obvious why.
Anyway how am I supposed to forgive when the perpetrator thinks his actions are ordained by god, and because he is one of the few that actually talks to god, he must be right. Therefore by logic I don't have to forgive because he hasn't done any wrong as per god. Except my conscience tells me what did occur was very wrong, which therefore means either my conscience is wrong, he doesn't have a conscience, he is telling porkies or god is wrong. Now lets eliminate the last option before I get in trouble, so that leaves three options and I don't think it is the first one.
See why I get so confused?
What would make it easier is if the perpetrator had a long hard look at what they have been up to, got out them sack cloth and ashes, tried them on, found they are a perfect fit . . . Then I could look at the forgiveness (without forgetting, for they who forget are forced to repeat their mistakes, said by a much wiser person than myself re the holocaust) business. Until then, I like Raz will keep seeking the answers and solutions for the sanity of myself and others.
As for healing, oh lets save that for another day. 8-)


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 11:58 am 
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBmkor9WF0U


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:34 pm 
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Recommendation: “New Tribes Mission must distance its name, and the greater name of Christ, from any personnel who directly or indirectly harmed children."

I copy this quote from the Fanda summary report above. So with Ron Abram back in Chobo at the moment, more than likely in his house he had while with ntm, are they distancing themselves from any relation with him?????


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 2:38 pm 
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NOPE.

:x


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 30, 2014 9:20 pm 
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Given that there are still child abusers openly living in NTM Resthomes it is hardly any surprise. NTM appears to have thumbed it's nose at GRACE's recommendations, which I understand it agreed with, implying it was going to follow.

The credibility of NTM is further eroding.


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