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Victorious instead of victims.
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Author:  mosquito bite [ Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:15 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Victorious instead of victims.

See pm, shadowspring2. :-)

Author:  Yunker [ Fri Jun 24, 2011 9:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Victorious instead of victims.

So, are you still with NTM? I have to say you really have no clue as to the affects of the emotional abuse and if you haven't suffered them you didn't see true abuse.

I am also sorry that your kids suffered after you did, that is not cool at all. Did you not notice the signs?

And last, yes I find your whole post offensive. PEACE

Author:  Gene Long [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 11:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Victorious instead of victims.

Raz wrote:
Thank you for posting, Philam. If you have been reading on these forums you know there are people here with some very strong opinions. Emotions are raw. Some of us a weary from months and years of grappling with the issues being discussed here.
I wince at the responses I predict will be coming to your post.
My much-loved Eagles Forum Family: Could I please point out two things that stand out to me at the beginning of Philam's post:
1. "I too had a child affected by Les"
2. "I also faced terror in my life at the hands of a horrible man"
Philam is the parent of a child who was hurt by Les Emory. And they are also themselves a survivor of abuse.
Please keep that in mind.

I winced - cringed, in fact - when I read Philam's post. Not because of responses I predicted would be coming (they have actually been very mild), but because of its content.

I acknowledge her right to her convictions, and if she has found healing and victory, and is now healthy, whole and happy, then I am grateful for that. She has suffered things that many of us cannot imagine. That anyone could recover from this sort of thing is always encouraging.

Still, while she may not have intended it this way, her post makes it sound like anyone who does not share her view is only hurting themselves, is bitter (and/ or is having their healing destroyed by those bent on bitterness), is not healthy, whole or happy and is living life as a victim, instead of victoriously.

Victims like Jane Doe 7, like Yunker, like dozens of others who have and are dealing with these issues in ways that differ from how Philam dealt with them, are not necessarily doing the wrong thing, reacting sinfully, wallowing in despair.... whatever.

Philam may, indeed, have her own battles with NTM, but her post certainly embodies one of the most basic of NTM principles: Total conformity, everybody doing the same thing, the same way. That's not how real life works.

Author:  NTM Child [ Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:19 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Victorious instead of victims.

dbarney, I agree. There are so many names of the people we lived, laughed and played with in the three villages (and two countries) we were in. We had nationals stay in our home and eat with us and we stayed in theirs. Many years after leaving Bolivia my parents went back to the village to visit. The people were glad to see my parents and threw a "potluck" celebration for them. During the celebration several of them came up to my parents and said, "Watch the (missionary family name here), they won't eat anything that we fixed. They will only pretend. They are not like you, they don't love us like you did." My parents came back and told me that it was true. Many years later my parents retired and dad passed away shortly after. Mom remarried after several years and a few years ago went back to the village they worked in with my stepdad. My stepdad was nervous about going but when he came back he was totally pumped by the experience. They stayed in a national home for more than a week. I asked him had he seen this or gone here or there and he kept saying no. Then he said "We never left the house. People were coming all day every day to visit your mom. They were coming in from several days away and bringing their whole families saying, do you remember Maria? you delivered her as a baby, now this is her baby, etc. We did nothing but visit with the people all day long." Then he looked at me and said "I have never seen anything like it in my life, those people LOVE your family!" With the advent of electricity and computers, we are able to keep in touch with some of the people. Mom sends messages to them and the church via e-mail and someone in the church checks in at an internet cafe occasionally. Facebook has also made continued contact possible. It is funny. The villages have all changed, bambo & thatch huts are now wood with tin roofs, there is running water and electricity, even TV. If I ever go back again I won't know where I am. I remember having to walk to villages or go by canoe and we measured distance by how many days on the trail it took to walk to another village, now they have vehicles and roads and what took days can now be travelled in a matter of minutes or hours. I have even seen my old home on google earth.

Author:  dbarney [ Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Victorious instead of victims.

Isn't it great NTM child!!! WE lived 7 bends down river and is good weather and if the engine worked, it took 3.5 hours. When I took my girls down, we stayed in their homes and used their banana patch. It was so nice to see true friends who made us meals and loved my girls because they were mine. How I miss those days.

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