And... This just appeared in MY inbox. ROFL!
New Tribes Mission Denies All Allegations Face straight, fingers crossed, NTM spokeswoman faces tough questions Dateline: Sanford, FL Nita Zelenak, spokeswoman for NTM, appeared today before curious reporters to offer clarification on what she called "the alleged law suit against NTM." "Allegations of a law suit against NTM are simply hearsay," she said, fingers crossed behind her back in a ploy last seen when she denied that Joel Price ever worked with children in Venezuela. "We haven't been served with any papers at all, legal or otherwise. We have no idea what this is about. Really. If we find out anything more, we'll call you. Trust us." "I can verify," she continued in answer to reporters' questions, "that Les Emory never really was in the Philippines. Neither were Jane Does 1 through 23. Or even John Does 1 through 78. These are baseless allegations, clearly the work of the Devil." When pressed about allegations that sexual perverts had wormed their way into many NTM boarding schools around the world, she replied, "What schools? NTM hasn't run any schools since 1994." She explained the smoke rising from the Personnel Office as "just normal investigations." She maintained that this was "nothing out of the ordinary" and that the staff would soon be finished "addressing some unresolved issues," at which time the fire trucks presently on standby would return to the station. Meanwhile, rumors that Pat Hendrix had spent the last three days "double checking" information on the NTM servers under the watchful gaze of Scott Ross were scotched by CEO Larry "Naaman" Brown. "These are just allegations," he said. "NTM never responds to allegations. In fact, we don't respond to much of anything, come to think of it."
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