MK forum

I don't know that I'll be able to word my question right or if this is even the right place to put this question/discussion...but here goes. (it definitely won't be eloquent--or even spelled correctly! )

When considering leadership and choices made for you by leadership, what is the proper boundary for leadership authority (as the employer) vs. leadership abuse? So if those in leadership over you push ("request") you to do something against your convictions (such as placing children in boarding school) or something against your better judgement or knowledge of the situation (such as moving into a new ministry role)--that, in hind sight, sounds like leadership abuse. Especially if it is done without consulting and discussing it with you. And I realize we are all free to keep ourselves under that leadership or to go our own way...but that's another discussion.

So what about the things that are negotiable? The decisions aren't sin, they aren't hurting your family, they don't even have long lasting effects, but the leadership decisions were hurtful to you and you disagree with them. You confront them, but they don't agree that their decision was wrong. They are sorry you were hurt, but they don't think any wrong was done. Do you just agree to disagree? I mean you can't make people agree with your point of view.

So my question or point is this: When placing yourself under someone's leadership, you have to realize that you won't always agree. You will have to make some choices, or live by some choices made for you, that you don't agree with. That's just part of being in a role of follower/employee, right? You can confront wrong and not let that go, but when it's just a difference of opinion, however strongly held, you choose to do one of two things: live with the decision or leave the job.

So what do you do with that hurt....?

I've long since burried my disdain for NTM until recently finding out about the Fandas. I'm a 3rd generation NTMr, so one of my parents and their siblings grew up in Brazil in one of those horrible boarding schools where they were neglected and it was more like a boot camp orphanage than a loving school environment. My parent was left alone at 6 years old crying to sleep every night for weeks. No one was there to comfort....but there again is something like I've been reading about Macon Hare's idiology (and that was his 'time' wasn't it?) that the children were just a burden. I know there were good dorm parents out there, but honestly a mission the 3rd largest in the world doesn't have checks and balances to make sure those kids (my parent and siblings) were ok? It enfuriates me.
On another thread ORNO relays his sister kicked out for kissing a boy, well my parents sibling had the exact thing happen also. NTM so quick to judge and act against the poor children, but protecting the predators out there committing a crime I diev worse than murder.
I've mentioned before my thankfulness at my parents willingness to stand up against the beuracracy of NTM and NOT send my siblings and I to the boarding schools. Used to thank my parents all the time for that, and more so now!
Here's anther example of NTMs wonderful mercy - NOT - my parents were dismissed from NTM for not appologizing for something I did as a teenager. They were reported by another NTM family for 'allowing' me to sin, and brought before the stone table and were demanded to repent, they refused and it was bye bye from there. Thanks NTM. Oh and might I add, the reporting family that had a child involved had nothing done or said to them. They weren't broungt before the stone table and told to 'get the hell out of dodge if you won't bow to me'

My parents gave you 22 years together and the other parent an entire LIFE! What great appreciation for all your sacrificing!! *being fecicious.

Being on the mission field for 15 years, seeing God's work there, that is the ONLY thing that keeps me from wanting to go down there and choke evey one of those people copied on ORNO's emails. I wish I was one of the victims at times just so I could hang them out to dry. Covering up those haneous crimes....you've really hit rock bottom NTM, and your going to get a REALLY nice rep around here at least for it. I have a big mouth and although not as witty and knowledgable and ORNO, I will create quite a fuss if NTM doesn't start doing a heck of a lot better job dealing with this. Their updates are rediculous and unacceptable.

Sorry, if this offends anyone, just venting after a life of continued crap from an organization my family pledged their life's to. To date there used to be (including children) 11 family members in the mission, now there are 4.

Thank you for telling your story, MK. Please stay with us. We are on a very long journey and we mustn't lose focus, get discouraged, or give up.

Sorry - your blog name is just so long LOL! I'll call you Arno if you prefer.

I like this line...
1) WE were told we had enough kids (3) and should get something done to not have more!!! Why did they have that authority? Or else..... We always wanted a 4th

2) I can think of at least 4 or 5 times where we were told to do something that we didn't agree with. It finally lead to us resigning and going with another group. Even though NTM was all I knew. A lot of "stepping over the line committees" and staying with them because of wanting to work with the people.