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MK forum • View topic - Is it even possible to comment on leadership abuse here?

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 5:49 pm 
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Dear Gene,

The answer is very simple. As a PNG MK who was there at the time of Gary Earl, the reason so many remained silent is because there was so much abuse committed by quite a few men and women. Some of these people have been named previously on this site, some are dead and have their identities suppressed and quite a few are still listed as being with NTM.
These offenders were not just nobodies who passed in and out, they were the people in charge at Numonohi, you spoke out against them at your peril. So it was easier for most to close a blind eye, or even get sucked into abuse themselves. There were a few very decent missionaries who went out of their way to be the ambulance at the bottom of the cliff for abused MKs, but they were in a difficult position and walking a fine line against some very big bullies.
Alas three missionaries who helped me personally died in tragic circumstances. If they had been here today, I think they would be speaking out strongly for us, for they had true courage.

Cheers

Bemused


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 03, 2014 6:28 pm 
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 04, 2014 12:37 am 
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Now we don't have to wonder why the PNG investigation
Will be put off til last.
What was Larry Brown's role as FC chairman?
Or was that after your time?
I have asked this question numerous times.
Never get an answer.
ntm definitely needs some outside help from qualified people.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 07, 2014 9:54 am 
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:34 pm 
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Adding clarity to what many adults experienced in NTM:

DECEMBER 7, 2014
Leaders who lose credibility by listening to their constituency

This is going to sound counter intuitive since we are all told to listen to those we lead. However, there are scenarios where listening actually hurts the credibility of a leader. Let me explain.

Most leaders know they have to listen to those they lead. So most do. However there are leaders who listen (because they have to) but have no intention of actually addressing the concerns of those they are listening to, even when it is a deafening roar. They can therefore say they listened but nothing was ever done to address legitimate concerns expressed leaving those who shared with even greater frustration than before they shared. It is a disingenuous listening because the leader has no intention of actually doing anything about what he/she heard but they can say, "I have heard all of you." The truth is that it was a disingenuous hearing.

Take a leader who introduces significant change without running process or building a consensus among those who will be impacted by the change. They can expect some push-back as change is not easy for people to deal with. But suppose they receive very significant push-back from people who are not known to be difficult or contentious. A wise leader would pay attention to that. 

When reasonable people - and many of them - are saying "this is not wise" good leaders listen. Dysfunctional leaders on the other hand will often say "talk to me," listen to the concerns and then ignore the concerns (after all they are not concerns to them) while saying "I have heard you." Now the offense is not only bad leadership in not running process and unwise change tactics but they have now minimized people who actually have valid concerns. The offence is now significantly greater than it was originally because those who shared their concerns to no avail now know that their leader frankly does not care. He/she plays the game but has an agenda they are intent on regardless of what others think.

Let's take this one step further. Because the leader has encouraged people to share their concerns with him/her (while not intending to do anything with them), they now know who is not supportive of their decisions. Often, those who share their concerns are seen by insecure leaders like this as "malcontents," "difficult," or "problem people." Never mind these same people have been long time supporters and participants in the ministry. It is in these cases that one starts to hear a great deal about church unity and in extreme cases, church discipline (the Mars Hill story). Dysfunctional leaders are unable to deal with those who disagree with them and get in the way of "their way."

If one is going to listen to their constituency (which they always should), leaders must be willing to hear them and respond to legitimate issues where they can or should. To listen and ignore good advice - especially when it comes from reputable people and a large group of people is usually indicative of an insecure or even narcissistic leader who must have his/her own way. It is sad but happens all too often in the Christian community.


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:40 pm 
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http://leadingfromthesandbox.blogspot.com


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:42 pm 
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DECEMBER 3, 2014
12 signs of humility and arrogance in leaders

Indicators of Humility
I have a proper view of who I am, who I am not and know the source of my strengths
I am a secure individual and therefore unthreatened
I know that I need others and treat them with honor and respect
As a rule I am non-defensive
I listen carefully to others and display flexibility
I do not need to have my own way on most things
I am willing to share authority and decision making with others
I intentionally solicit feedback and am open to critique
I pay great attention to my shadow side and manage it
I give credit away in success and take responsibility in failure
I surround myself with people who will tell me the truth
I live under authority and accountability
I realize that my leadership is not about me but about the mission

Indicators of Arrogance
I am self involved and have an inflated view of my own importance
I live with insecurity which impacts my actions
I use others for my purposes and marginalize them if they disagree with me
I display defensiveness and do not want to hear contrary opinions
I do not listen carefully to others and am inflexible when others suggest modifications to my plans
I am unwilling to share decision making with others
I resist feedback or critique that is not in agreement with me
I pay little attention to my shadow side and rarely if ever acknowledge it
I take credit for success and blame others for failures
I surround myself with “yes” people
I resist accountability and chafe under authority
The ministry is more about me than the mission


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PostPosted: Fri Dec 12, 2014 11:42 pm 
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from the same blogspot


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PostPosted: Tue Dec 16, 2014 1:15 pm 
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The signs above are so true. I am tired of conditional Christianity and abusive leadership. When I do come across humble Christian leaders I am thrilled. A leader for the welfare of its members protects victims and is committed to truth.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 05, 2015 11:16 am 
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YES!
SO RIGHT!


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