The aftermath of my own abuse has affected my children as well as myself and my husband. For years,Â I suffered from severe depression, and alternate periods of mania.Â For years,Â I carried such terrible anger inside me.
Â Carrying something that damaging ended up affecting everyone around me.
My kids witnessed me tearing drinking glasses from my cupboard in a frenzy of anger, and smashing them onto the floor.
They have heard me screaming in rage and have seen me punch holes into my walls.
IÂ made my children afraid of me because of the anger that was in me.
Praise God, todayÂ I can say that He has healed me.Â I gave Him my anger and He took it willingly.Â I gave Him my sadness and He took that as well.
IÂ gave Him my hatred and my depression, my grief and my heart.
My kids will be “over-protected” and will probably despise me for it. My daughters will not be allowed to have sleep-overs at friends’ houses.
But, my children are healthy and whole, and ONLY because of God taking my past from me, and holding it Himself.