We were asked to post this anonymously

Child Abuse by the NTM Fanda Field Committee?

moderator note: initials are chosen randomly and do not reflect actual names

When A,  B and I were in the little dorm at Fanda in the same room,  B was touched by the dorm dad. In that year  A told her mom that  B and I were doing stuff to each others boobs and asked her mom if that was OK. ( I only found out about this next bit a few weeks ago). Her mom went to the Fanda FC and told them about it and said that this was not normal developmental behavior and she thought that either  B or I were being sexually abused (The mother of  A had been abused as a child).

Instead of investigating abuse they interrogated  A and asked her what else B and I had done together, she said “nothing”. Then they called mine and B’s parents to Fanda, telling them what A said we had done but nothing about possible abuse. They sat B myself and our parents and all the FC men in a room and I don’t remember exactly what they said but they said that we had done something REALLY BAD. They humiliated us and told us to tell them what we had done together. We just cried. This went on for a few days while they told us how sinful these things were (they never actually told us what we had been accused of doing) .

Our parents went home after those first few days then (my mom only found out about this the other day) it got worse. They brought the dorm parents into it ( the dorm dad was B’s abuser) and they told us quite descriptively what we could have done which was nothing that  A ever told them we did and told us it was wrong and we need to confess it to them. We cried a lot. We were forbidden to have any contact with each other. We were questioned together and apart.

I think the dorm parents may have initiated the continued investigation. I can’t understand why they were even involved. When we still confessed to nothing they got us individually in a room with a FC members wife and the dorm mom who hated us because I think she may have had some idea of what her husband was doing. This had gone on for around a week all up by now. We finally both admitted to doing stuff with each others boobs and insisted that there was NOTHING else.
After we told them this they dropped it and it was never brought up again. We always thought that A had told them a bunch of lies and I only found out that she didn’t A FEW WEEKS AGO when I finally found the courage to actually talk about it to her. I also thought that her mom must have told the FC because she thought we were dirty rotten kids. My parents thought that the bit that they were involved in was an overreaction.

All of this destroyed my relationship with my mom. She didn’t stand up for me. And I thought that she believed A’s lies ( which turned out not to be lies) and supported the FC. I told her after this that I didn’t want her to hug me anymore and I decided I was on my own in the world. I hated and didn’t trust any adult. I feel SO sorry for my Mom. She had no idea what actually went on! I love her SO MUCH now and have a very good relationship with her, but this change in our relationship only started to happen after I turned 18.

So… instead of investigating if there could have been any abuse they ATTACKED the abused in front of the abuser. Us children were abused by the FC. I would go as far as to say that it was sexual abuse by them at times. This happened in the 1990’s.


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10 Responses to We were asked to post this anonymously

  1. Debra Barney says:

    I went to a NTM school and went through physical abuse and my daughters experienced at at Fanda

  2. person A says:

    i too was interrogated for days and days without the presence of my parents for months! i was forbidden to tell anyone, even my parents. they only found out years later. i was TERRIFIED for months….

  3. C says:

    NTM tried to look into this abuse 7 years (I think) after it happened when I talked to a stranger about it and he told his dad who reported it to the NTM leaders. They tried to talk to me about it but I refused to talk because I DIDNT TRUST THEM and didn’t want B to be hurt by them again. They tried to ask questions again later as well but I have never said much for the same reasons as above. I dont think there is much I can do to get justice for my friend anyway. If I could report him and testify against him in court and all without B ever having to get involved , I would, but I think that she has be the one to report it to authorities before they can do anything.

  4. Dear one,
    You aren’t alone. i was at Mamou Alliance Academy in Guinee..Your story is much the same as mine..raising your voice is vital. We are with you..
    I had no protection from my parents. Even my siblings still think it is OK, excepting my youngest sister who went to ICA, Ivory Coast Academy in Bouake. My brother is not availble for discussion.He went to ICA too.
    I recall hearing how my little brother screamed for hours for mom and dad to return for him, after they drove away. My little sister remembers too.
    I told my folks..”They’ll get used to it!” when we discussed my brother, just a first grader,and his cries and his vomiting reaction.
    Moms face dropped and her mouth tightened..Dad just gave me one of “those” looks…..and you know what? Nothing changed.
    My parents betrayed me so many times…they would only say…”you survived, didn’t you?” My answer… “WEll……No..not really.”
    But no one was listening. We were supposed to be there for our prents sake. We were told we were helping them to be good missionaries..In fact, we were
    soldiers for Christ..just like them.
    We had to carry Their cross…that is what we were told in so many words.
    I didn’t know then that they really thought it was ok to sacrifice their children..so many times…I have wished I had died.
    I was in the way. They had much more important things to do…

    I am SO sorry you had to endure what you did. It is unconscionable that your parents turned against you.
    I’m glad you did have a chance to talk to her and with that, a new relationship developed..I did not have that chance. Both of my parents are passed.
    Thank you for sharing your story, Viv Palmer /Harvey

  5. Linda Fossen says:

    I appauld your courage to come forward. I know from personal experience how hard this is to do and how often the victim is viciously attacked by those who want to protect the perpetrators. You are doing the right thing and may your efforts help many more victims to come forward. I have linked you to my website and will help spread the word about what is going on with New Tribes Mission. Shame on them for not taking these allegations seriously right from the beginning. Sadly, I have found this to be all too common with evangelical organizations. God bless each and every one of you. Know that I support you 1000%. Linda Fossen “Out of the Miry Clay: Freedom from Childhood Sexual Abuse” http://www.LindaFossen.com

  6. greg says:

    Thank you for sharing your story

  7. I am an alumni of Mamou, and the therapists of at least three of us from Mamou have said that the school was run like a concentration camp for children. This kind of interrogation reminds me of that.

    I have a 15 year old daughter. When I imagine how she would have experienced this as a young girl I am horrified at how it must have impacted you. Your sense of fairness, of justice, of truth would have been assaulted (and those are all concepts important in the development of children). The confusion of why they were asking you to admit to something that you did not do (and even if it had been true why were the adults so angry about it when they were not angry at what the adult dorm parent had done to you!did this mean they thought what he had was alright?) The total lack of kindness and putting you in further danger by bring a perp and then the wife of the perp into the mix would heighten the sense of danger. Parents were ineffectual in protecting you. “No place to run, no place to hide”. Such profound breaking of trust in so many relationships.

    I am glad that you are now able to talk about this with your Mom and with “A”. The journey forward will be easier. Not easy, but easier.

    Thank you for sharing your story and allowing us to be a part of your journey too.

    Warmly,

    Beverly ST

  8. Shary Hauber says:

    Thank you “C” for sharing your story. I know it took a lot of courage. But we are behind you.

  9. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. We need every voice we can get if we are going to finally get our church leadership as a whole to deal with this sin. http://speakingtruthinlove.org .

  10. Anon III says:

    How many more stories are out there? How many more fractured family relationships? How many more wounded who aren’t ready to talk? Is the Senegal FC ready to take ownership? Are the Senegal missionaries still working with NTM ready to stand up and say “no More!”

    This blog has proven to be an avenue for hurt people to begin the process to find help and re build brokenness.

    Yes!

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