This is Kari

Just want to take this opportunity to share a bit of my story.

I was an abuse victim of Fanda, as outlined in the documentation supplied on this site. My story was covered up by NTM.

Years later, I had a life of deep depression, drug addiction, a runaway with a death wish. I was full of self hate and anger and insecurity.  I told my parents in a letter from one of my rehabs to give up on me. “Consider me dead already”, I said, “I do.” I believed in God but believed he cared nothing for me.

In the last few years I was introduced to a grace-based church and have come back to Christ and a life of passion and joy that I am so privileged to know. I look back on my wasted years and instead see so much life sprouting there. I am humbled by the relentless sowers along my path who were not dissuaded though I treated them with contempt. I’d been hinting at coming back to Christ when a few years ago God tackled me and brought me to my knees in tears at His goodness and grace. I still spend a lot of time there. Legalism taught me that God hated me but Grace taught me that I am loved indeed. Legalism bound me to impossible perfection but Grace freed me and gave me a heart that longs to obey Him. I still sin, I am remarkable at it, but by the grace of God I get up again to seek Him. I am the prodigal daughter and my testimony is this, there is no life apart from Christ, it is only a half-life, a cheap copy, a chasing after the wind. What I have in Him is life to the fullest. Life Indeed.

While I am one of the creators behind this blog and know that I am not to stop until all this is brought into the open, I want to encourage everyone that this life is ours to claim today! We do not need to wait for repentance or an apology or retribution or justice to start living a joyous life. While my heart longs for it, I know repentance from NTM or even justice is not something my life hinges upon. And today I can forgive because I’ve been forgiven indeed. Even me.


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