MK forum

Federal laws have been changed recently...and criminal prosecution for sexual abuse of minors (or having sex with minors under a certain age, even if consensual) is possible in U.S. federal court for abuse occurring outside of the U.S. However, the current laws and current statutes of limitations do not apply to crimes committed prior to their enactment as ex post facto laws are expressly forbidden by the U.S. Constitution.

As a practical matter, it is damned near impossible to successfully prosecute these types of crimes.

Nothing lasts forever and maybe someday this forum will not exist either. That doesn't negate it's purpose and in my life, at least, it has fulfilled a purpose. I didn't even realize how much this was still an "issue" in my life - i had a totally wrong perspective of all that went on at Via back then - and then I just left it all in the past. Through this forum I've met up with people whom I thot were MAD at me or didn't really want anything more to do with me and discovered that they were actually friends - and found out they'd learned some of the same lessons i've learned over the years.

As for ever having anyone who has any authority in NTM sit down here at this table - did anyone think that would really happen? I've finally got up the courage to look through some of the documentation - and I don't think anything's going to be resolved with a friendly chat. It's going to have to be something a whole lot more oficial than that - and I would love to see this Pat Hendrix thing with Via be that - but I don't know. I don't necessarily think this is a problem only with NTM - organizations are like that - at some point, it becomes all about the paperwork, paper is so much cleaner to deal with than people. NTM leadership needs to be forced to look at the people involved in this - victims and perpetrators - through legal action or any other way that will make authorities sit up, listen and act.

I also believe that there are more boarding schools all over the world that need investigation - PNG is one, i'm pretty sure, as is TAMBO. So we who are posting now will hopefully take another step in the direction of healing and there will be a time when sitting glued to this screen is no longer necessary for some - but unfortunately/hopefully there will be others and this forum will serve a healing purpose for them.

Thank you, Fanda MKs, Kari, for doing this. You followed a leading that I can only assume came from HS himself, and it has made a difference in my life (this is where the closing song should come in )

I too thank Kari and the Fanda Eagles for how this forum has helped many of us heal. I would not be on this road of healing and I would still be in denial, if I hadn't read the Grace Report and if I hadn't read this forum. For about 3 months after I started reading the forum and after I read the Grace Report, I went through a period of mourning as I grieved over what happened to me, what happened to my siblings, what happened to my friends, and what happened to all of you. Horrible things happened, and on this forum we understand each other, we understand how bad it was, we understand how powerless we were against the crimes that were committed. We grieve for each other.

As I grieved I also began to feel again - which meant being able to feel God's love more fully and being able to love more fully. I never knew how I had closed myself up emotionally, because life was so painful I couldn't face feeling it, and I had never opened up again. I began to see how I lived my life out of a terribly low self image, because of my experiences in the dorm and never being able to live up to expectations in that environment, and although I have a long way to go, I am healing! I began to admit how wrong it was for me to sent away at age 7 to a boarding school - to be separated from my parents. I wasn't the one in the wrong. I had lived all my life feeling guilty, like I was the horrible person, because of the environment. I am so thankful I have gone through this, and I know I have a lot more to work through. I am so thankful for the healing and joy God has brought into my life through this experience. I can now accept being loved, I can accept being accepted! These are huge things for me!

Hopefully we all seek healing for each other on this forum. Hopefully we don't want to keep each other down. Hopefully we can rejoice when one of us is healing and moving forward, and rejoice when they are now making choices that wouldn't have been their choices had they still been angry and bitter. I do get the feeling on this forum that healing and moving on isn't always welcome. I do get the feeling that there is a strong push to stay angry and not move forward soemtimes (not always). I personally wish this forum was just for MKs, not for everyone who has had a bad experience with NTM, but it's not - it was set up for everyone to participate.

I'm glad to see us addressing the issue of change and working to direct that change in the direction that we see as most desirable. I've been involved for a long time in another MK forum and it has changed many times and in various ways over the years. Some people come and go, others visit briefly and a few have stuck with it over the long haul. I'm fairly certain that sort of thing will happen here. Rather than working against the changes, we need to recognize them and adapt as necessary. If this site no longer meets your needs, or causes you more pain, then move on. As for those of us who stick with it (for whatever reason), we need to allow for the changes and transitions of others as they progress on their journeys.

In many ways this site has accomplished it's initial purpose, which was to compel NTM to do a truly independent and thorough investigation of Fanda. I would like to hear from Kari, Bonnie, and the other Fanda alumni how they feel about the results of their efforts and how they see the current situation in regards to them and their complaints against NTM. In other words, do they feel that they have achieved what they set out to do?

As a result of the publicity surrounding the GRACE report, a number of other similar situations have been brought to light and the continued pressure, largely from this group has moved NTM to undertake additional investigations. While there have been some initial missteps, I think they really do want to move forward with that effort. I think that rather than criticizing those efforts, we can take an active role and be involved in making sure that the investigations go forward, are thorough, independent and fair.

Let's all take a good look at where we fit into all this and do what we can to move towards the desired results. Part of the process will be figuring out what those results can and should be.

This forum has helped me in more ways than even I know. If it weren't for mksafety.net and this forum, I would still be so confused as to why my husband has the problems he is experiencing. He has read here a few times. It has been incredibly difficult for him to admit that the source of his depression and unhappiness was being an MK. It was so strongly reinforced that his parents were doing God's work, and to say anything negative about that was a horrible sin, and that God would be very disappointed in you at the very least,if you were to complain, even in your heart.

Reading here, especially all the brave men who now seem to be gone (OT, SD) gave him courage too.

He is healing. He is dealing with boarding school in therapy now. I have hope for him.

Anyway, thank you all for making this forum, and contributing her, and allowing this hurting wife of an MK to post and read here. It has been very helpful, and I appreciate it very much.

It wasn't until I was in my 30's, when I walked into a Bible study and they were talking about abandonment issues, that I realized that I felt abandoned with raising a child without grandparents around. And it wasn't until recent therapy that I acknowledged the awful feeling of being dropped off in the States for college, at age 17. So Shadowspring, I understand how your husband didn't want to blame PQQ. It felt so dishonoring, and I looked up at the Bible study afraid to meet the eyes of Pastor Abby, and couldn't believe when she said, Yes, you were abandoned . . .how have you made it this long without us?

Thanks, Traevbru.

Ok then, getting back to the origin of this forum, are we slowly stopping? I think not. I think we are only starting. This forum opened up so many wounds and wounded people. As a nurse in end of life care, I see pressure ulcers that people never recover from, and funeral home tastefully hide. I also see ones that people have healed from. The skin looks different, kind of shiny, and that area is the first place to breakdown again at the next infection or illness. I would like to get us to the point where the infection of the wound is gone, we have learned how to prevent it from worsening and new skin and tissue is growing back. And when it appears healed, we're strong enough to keep it from blasting open again. We have a lot of work to do.

What a vivid and fitting word picture, traevbru!
Thanks!

Just saw this part on page 27 of the Name that Pedophile post--thought it kind of belonged here too. I like the healing salve part . . .

I think sometimes as people, we need to relearn how to live again, especially after suffering or trials. We need to rediscover joy, remember our blessings, risk love again. Time has been a healer for me, but sometimes we don't allow ourselves the room to mend. We jump right back into life's chaos without stopping long enough to reflect, to bring our wounds to God and soak in His healing salve.