MK forum

Sadly, I think the answer to this question might be "yes".

When I focus on all the good that has come from this website, my heart is filled with gratitude. I personally have gained so much in so many ways from my participation on this site. I can't find enough words of thankfulness to Kari and Bonnie and to so many others who have encouraged, supported and taught me. I am forever grateful.

I always knew this website would not be around forever. So I choose to focus on all the positives that have come out of it. It's been a precious oasis for me, in my long journey toward healing, and my quest to reflect Christ's love and grace more effectively in a sad, sick world.

I am nostalgic about the early days of this website. So many voices have gone silent. So many people who had much to contribute have left the table.

This site was established for and about MKs. MKs who, as innocent, vulnerable children were handed over by naive, trusting parents to a system that fostered abuse on all levels. Abuse that in far too many cases descended into evil, criminal acts that often continued undetected for many years. Sins were committed against the helpless. Sins of the sort that brought Jesus himself to such fury that he stated he wished such victimizers would have huge stones tied to their necks and be sunk to their deaths in the sea.

In some cases there were cries for help. From the child victims. From their concerned parents, who were trying to understand why their precious little ones had a different look in their eyes. Eyes that were sending a signal. A signal that many of us parents -- to our eternal regret -- failed to detect or comprehend. In some cases where adults in NTM were made aware of the truth, the response to that truth was to disregard, deny, cover up, or enable abuse. The wrong response of so many people in positions of authority within NTM is a disgrace, and many who made things worse by their own responses have never admitted to or apologized for their part in this debacle.

In sadness, I look around the table here on this website and shake my head at how this environment has changed during the time I have been here. I think of the abused MKs as children in this scenario, because two of the abused MKs are my own precious daughters, and in my mind I still see the little 11 and 6-year-old beauties whose innocent childhood was abruptly snatched from them, and because of that, parts of them remain in an arrested childlike state forever.

The children have snuck away from the table. They stopped trying to speak up long ago. The anger around this table has flared up and there is shouting and accusation. It is no longer a safe place. I fear it is no longer a place where healing is taking place.

Any hope that this table can be a place where NTM would come sit down with us and join in the conversation has evaporated. NTM will never come here. They will never speak here again. It is not a safe place for them either.

But even as things deteriorate, and people start to gather their things and leave the table, I want to focus on the good, and not the bad. I want to rejoice in what we gained from each other, not mourn the loss of something that I really knew was just for a season anyway.

My passion for helping wounded MKs in any way I can remains undiminished. I continue to be open and available to anyone who needs a listening ear. There are many, many stories still untold. Scores, or maybe hundreds of MKs still long for validation and support. For them I continue to pray ... and continue to be available.

No matter what happens next here, I hope we can continue to remain positive and hopeful. God knows all our secrets. He feels all our pain. We can count on His grace, mercy and love for eternity, no matter what happens to this website, this investigation, this mission, this country, this world.

To Him be the glory and honor forever and ever.

Thank you, Jesus.

Oh bless you Kathy for this post!!!

Thank you Raz for not giving up on helping us wounded out here. We may dissintegrate but I hope not . This forum has changed my life forever and you have helped so much.

In order for the site to stay alive it needs a new mission. Not having been here when it started I do not know all that it has accomplished, but I hear it has done great things. The mission which fandaeagles was founded to do is basically over. GRACE has investigated and the mission is responding. Now the question is what comes next? The answer to that lies in part with the membership. If there are a limited number of mks here then the we are not able to support their needs, since they are not telling us what they need. Even if we have some we may not have enough to have a legitimate voice for them.

If the mks are not here then NTM has no requirement to speak out here. They will speak to the victims directly where ever they are found. Who are we speaking for when we demand GRACE. The person I am here for will not speak out and may never speak out here or anywhere. I cannot support them here since they are not here. I cannot tell their story and I cannot fight any battles for them. Without the victims we have little influence in asking for any investigation to be conducted in any particular manner.

When it comes to reforming NTM we have no impact. We are outsiders with no money. NTM will find it very easy to dismiss our calls for reform. Money talks in all worlds even the christian world. If we could impact their supporters then we could influence NTM. We also have limited, if any, influence on their missionaries as we have seen. No matter what we want to think of any one missionary, even the ones reading here, they are doing little to nothing to change the mission as we see it. In the role of reforming the mission, once again we have no stake. The ones with the most to gain from reform are again the missionaries and their supporters. Without them we have no mandate to impact change.

What is left for the eagles to do then? One thing they can do is communicate with the mks who will be involved in the future investigations and see if we have a resource which they might find valuable. It has been helpful in the past and it can be again. We will need mk leaders to join. They do not need the main leaders but they must set the agenda and define the objectives for us.

We can change the focus to helping the family members deal with their issues. That will entail letting go of our rage in order to hear the pain of others. We would need members with solutions to common problems family members might have. I hope to get a post up about how to create and use I messages when we ask for what we need from others. I am thinking of those of us who have been in therapy using our experiences to teach what we have learned to others. Again this would need people who were not short to wrath or dedicated to labeling everything as an apocryphal battle between heaven and hell. Wounded people seeking answers will not want to know how they are failing God. The fruit of the spirit is necessary to do this.

Over all new leaders are needed to help us explore what our new direction might be. This means we will lose members and we will gain members. If we are not okay with that and try to keep things as they have been, then the site is doomed. That is not necessarily a bad thing if it has met the goal for which it was created.

In short simple sentences what do you need. If you do not answer then you need nothing and we will be able to make sure everyone gets that, nothing. If we need nothing then we let the site pass into history and enjoy what it has done and who we have become. We also need procedures for fighting fair.

I would like to support mks get the investigations they want.
I would like to offer education on communication skills and challenging negative thoughts.
I would like to have a healing resources section which is taken seriously.

I wonder if it's time for us all to head over to the "Rules" section and hammer out what we're all about and where the boundaries need to be?... Bonnie and Kari, what are you thinking?

On a personal note, this place has helped me find and experience a freedom that, at one time, I would never have even dared allow myself to even think about. I can't help but wonder if, on some level, this "freedom" has contributed to things that are going on right now. If you're reading this and are feeling that there's something that you need to hash out with me, please PM me. If there's one thing that I've learned leading up to this point, it's the value of dialogue.

Sorry to interrupt, but I have been asked this several times. Due to my profession I can only tell you I am an mk of ntm and I am an associate of former ntm missionaries and mks who have been abused. Back to the discussion.

This site is built by everyone. If it means something to you please contribute to this discussion. If you don't speak up it can't represent you, because others won't know what you need.

One idea for a new mission......getting the US laws changed re: US citizens abusing in another country. Abusers need to be prosecuted but the US won't do anything if it happened outside the US. Who can we contact to get the laws changed....Senators, Congressmen, etc.??? Anyone have ideas on this? Just wondering.......