MK forum

I guess it all depends on who's reputation and information is at stake.

I weep for your sister. In my memories I see her as she was then, grieve for what she is now, and cling to a hope of what she will become. If not in this life, then in the future: chin up, head held high, redeemed, loved, cherished and esteemed.

Jesus, please take care of the millstone part of this story ... I leave that in your hands ... you know my own hands are far from guiltless ...

I also weep for your sister and for you. It was hard to read such a sad story, much harder for you to write, and I can't even imagine having to live it. I wish I could hug your sister and share some of the pain, make her burden less heavy. I am praying. May God give her gracious friends who love her and remind her how much she is loved by our Heavenly Father. If her abusers are still alive, I pray that they humble themselves and do what they can to make things right with your sister.

OH!
Sherpa: No words.
Just emotion. Want to scream and shout.

Sherpa, the kind of leaders we need to see functioning will never come from what we have. MANY will have to be replaced. And that is love. Towards them and towards those they are "leading."
Tough love and compassion working together.
And people don't have to be asked to leave in a heartless manner.
But dismissal may have to enter in.
Do you know who gets dismissed now? Those who are doing well, but pose a threat to "leaders" because of their stand for truth.
And the status of those who have been censured by dismissal is hidden by some so the outside will continue to think well of them.

Never mind- I found them.

I understand what some of you are saying about being careful about not accusing people wrongly. But I think if we're going to pick and choose some people *not* to name because some children had good experiences with them, then we really can't name anyone. Because as has been discussed before, just because some children had really good experiences with certain adults on a certain field does not mean every child did. Some abusers, as we know, are very selective about whom they abuse and treat others well.

So maybe the entire naming of people on a public forum needs to be re-examined if certain people named will be called into question as to whether or not they really abused children. I would, personally, hate to see someone come here and name someone that hurt them and then feel guilty because others had good experiences with that adult. Does that make sense?

Thank you Mrs M. I was concerned about that too. Someone posted that name for a reason. We are hopefully learning to listen to those who have been abused, acknowledge their pain, and believe them when they say someone harmed them.

And Sherpa Dude, I understand what you are saying and I love your posts and thoughts. But someone really did feel "creeped out" by Bing Hare's picture. Sometimes things we see remind us of something from the past and it's hard to handle. Those who have been abused are super sensitive to that. I know Bing too and trust him, and what that person said did not discredit him to me. I doubt it did to most of us. But I also understand that person's feelings are valid. I would hate for that person to feel bad over what you have said and back off from being involved here because of your opinion. That would be preventing that person from gaining the healing that could be found here. We are all working through healing at different stages, we will all mess up sometimes in what we say, and we don't all have to approve of everything that is said. We can still support each other.

Thanks Sherpa. I appreciate the caution. We've all been on here in an emotion state and said things that we wish we hadn't said later. Caution is good. We need that reminder. But keep in balance the fact that many who come on here are very hurt and caution isn't what they are thinking about. So, for those who are hurting and need to share, please don't worry about messing up on here - you will find love and support.

What I would say about this subject is that I am just trying really hard not to shut people down. People take a big risk, just posting anything at all. I want them to feel safe to stay here with us, and to keep posting.

I spent a lifetime in the NTM environment, and graduated from the Rochester, PA school of personal ministry with high honors. I could jump on people and judge them and preach at them for what they said, how they dressed, how clean their house was, whether they were submissive enough to their husband, and tell them they needed to spank their toddler more often.

Dear God, I even lectured one woman for using too much toilet paper. I felt smugly justified in doing that, because our boot camp leaders had complained that someone was clogging up the toilets, and I believed the Holy Spirit had led me to discover the culprit.

Oh, how humbling it is to admit what a wretched witch I was. Really.

This cyberworld where we hold our 24-7 support group meetings is a strange and fascinating place. We don't know each other, and yet we sense a strong and powerful connection. We use code names and yet there is an intimacy here that is unparalleled in places where people actually speak face to face.

Agast is so right about the emotional state many of us are in when we sit at our computers, pound away, and then hit the "submit" button.

I wince when others are then quick to post something that I think might make the first poster -- who has taken a chance by being honest and vulnerable -- feel judged, critiqued, or demeaned.

My desire is to respond to others like my Father responds to me. When I speak to Him in honesty, I never feel rejection from Him. I can be mad, sad, ask hard questions that have no answers. I never hear Him say, "You need to just try a little harder to please me."

Oh, my precious Lord just pulls me close. So close I can hear His heartbeat. And that beat just keeps going ... I love you. I love you. I love you.

Even if you clog up the toilet. I love you.