MK forum

Grief is a natural process. Some grief eases quickly with time and some eats away at the soul forever.
I think the worst grief is the grief that comes with seeing ones children die before their time and to see them die emotionally must be very similar.
Nothing will bring back a child who has passed on, but a child who has died emotionally takes a different toll, because it is a living death. The sort of soul destroying death of seeing someone who is just existing and struggling every day and not engaging in life because of the fears of their past. Time doesn't heal this grief so well, because with each birthday, each Christmas, each life achievement, comes the reminder of what could and should have been.
It is o.k. to grieve, it shows you care. It is o.k. to be angry at those who have done this, it shows you understand.

And your post shows that you understand ... what it means to be a grieving parent.

Thank you.

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Many, many, many others. Far to many others. It should have been just one or two in the thousands of happy MKs. So how did it end up so bad? Was it all a big lie? How did so many rotten apples end up on so many fields doing so much damage? Was the screening process faulty? Did the heat get to their heads? Or were they attracted for the wrong reasons and nobody noticed, yeah right!

Here's my theory. NTM was so desperate to get going that it took any one and you had to be pretty eccentric to join, if not stark raving bonkers. So craziness wasn't abnormal, it was sort of celebrated, especially if it could be muddled up with piousness.
Then why didn't the leadership take strong disciplinary action? Because they were the even crazier ones that had risen to the top and now it is intergenerational and with so much intermarriage it is one hell of a complicated mess.

So JerryB, no need to feel guilty about having a nice MK experience, no need at all. That is something to be eternally grateful for and it is nice to see you popping in every so often to join us less fortunate.

As for speaking to someone and unloading it all. Be very careful who you do unload to, choose the wrong person and you end up having the last element of trust extinguished. Not all of us have someone we can trust and because of the cult think of NTM, even siblings, parents and grandparents can't always be trusted.

Screening process? What was that? In my day, the favorite recruiting phrase was, "God can use anybody"! So NTM took anybody .... and we know the tragic results of that terrible mistake.

And you are right about the fact that speaking out about your abuse does not always have the positive result that Michele Phoenix assumes it will. I hope some people with negative experiences will point that out to her. I know she has a genuine heart of compassion for MKs. Idealism and reality sometimes collide.

Best person I have talked to about my "interesting" childhood is Mrs Bemused. She is areligious, a good listener and has a psychology degree in her collection of academic achievements.

Alas the worst people we can talk to, sometimes are those who we should naturally be able to turn to. As someone once wisely said, "you can take the triber out of NTM, but you can't always take NTM out of the triber".

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Oh yes! I have certainly had this experience! I guess I get pretty passionate when I start to speak of my concerns about MK abuse.

And the room empties very quickly!!