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On Facebook over the Summer, I shared an article written by GRACE founder, Boz, titled "4 lessons we can learn from a church that hired a sex offender". A local small group pastor/chaplain commented on my shared post and I thought I'd share his comments and mine here:
The Pastor: WWJD ? I agree that because of the inherit possibility of damage to a child that certain precautions should be taken, the other side of the coin however is important. Do we limit one who has committed adultery from being around members of the opposite sex? Do we limit those with gluttony from coming to church dinners? Do we make everyone in the fellowship where a cardboard sign listing our sins that God forgot when he forgave us when we truly repented? I am not scoffing at the original post, but these too are sins that send someone to hell -- then this gets really sticky -- there is a difference between someone who has a conviction of something that the law has decided to label as "predator", and the true predator. Sadly with cell phone pics etc, teens are getting the label for ignorantly/willingly/or as a lost person sending pics of a sexual nature. Being convicted of pornography trafficking or the like they are labeled and tagged - branded as it were, and it is to follow them forever. We need to breath, not throw everyone in the same bucket. This takes nothing away from the pain of the very innocent victims. Their pain is reals, the scars are there. But Christ's love can heal those too, even as it heals the heart of the one who acted so atrociously against a child. We need to see people as individuals with specific histories and situations, extend the mercy and forgiveness that was extended to us thru Christ and the cross, and be wise as serpents and gentle as doves. 99 out of 100 hundred might be repeat offenders forever, but what about the 1 ----mmm, sounds like a parable in the making.
Me: Adultery is consensual; gluttony is personal --- neither of those directly harm an innocent victim. Child sexual abuse directly harms an innocent victim - no, it cannot be thrown into the same bucket as those sins. What Would Jesus Do? Jesus held a child on his lap, and said, "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea."
It's clear God has a tough stance against child abusers. The Bible is full of consequences for even those who were forgiven of their sins. We - Tim and I - believe a basic consequence for a pedophile is that he should not be around children. This is not being unforgiving; this is not being self-righteous; this is not saying my sin is less than his. It is simply a consequence of his actions. It is very possible to be full of mercy and forgiveness, and full of wisdom and gentleness, while making sure a child sexual predator does not have further access to children.
The article is talking strictly about child sexual abuse, which one mission's policy statement defines as "sexual activity between a child and another adult or child who by age or development is in a relationship of trust, responsibility, or power." Pornography and teens being labeled wrongly are a different subject altogether, and not really on topic for this discussion or article.
I will protect children from every single one of the 100, while offering rehabilitation - far away from children - to them. If 99 are "repeat offenders forever" - which is actually a pretty accurate number (take a look at the studies on child predators) - then there is too great a risk in allowing any of them access to children.
The Pastor: My comment was not in reference to the specific article - more generalized to the topic of those tagged with "predator" and those consequences. I don't condone nor think it wise to allow anyone involved with this topic to teach in a classroom, etc, especially by themselves. But we need to not forget there may be story that truly "frees" the person from the label but our societies "zero tolerance" bent does clump people into a batch rather than looking at individual circumstances.
I understand the harm done to children. Out of the 50+foster kids, many if not most had been sexually abused. It is sad, wrong, and evil. As with any sin though, it is the father of sin that our anger should be focused at. The enemy is the one seeking to destroy the spirit of the child, the enemy is the one who comes to seek, steal, and destroy. And if the enemy can take out two with one stone he is happy. Damage the child and utterly isolate the offender. Not advocating to give them their own preschool Sunday school class---but play in the band, serve on the prayer team, allowed to just show up and participate --yes. Jesus hung around with publicans and sinners-- fear is the enemies greatest tool, don't be afraid of these people. Don't forget, statistically, most abusers were abused victims first. So will you treat an adult abuser first as an abuser, or as the victim they were first as a child??!!
Me: If zero tolerance for child abusers is the norm in society, it has not yet reached the church and mission society. Unfortunately, I know this from personal experience and firsthand reports, not from articles or statistics. Even now, in 2014, pedophile missionaries are quietly retired and sent back to the States without a word of his deeds to the supporting churches. Pastors are still quiet about the wolves in sheep's clothing, when they should warn mothers of the wolf in their midst. We are not protecting children enough when we allow the abuser to participate in church activities among children. I can give stories of what child abusers have done even in a supervised room; even with the mother or father or pastor or missionary present.
I agree that our anger is for the evil one. But we don't "forgive and forget," as I was always told as a missionary child that we must. We don't forget. Neither does he. We rehabilitate him, we counsel him, we monitor him - away from children. An AA member says "I am an alcoholic," and has someone hold him accountable. A truly repentant pedophile will recognize his weakness and keep himself from children, from playgrounds, from schools. A pastor who understands temptation and addiction will help the pedophile stay within boundaries.
In answer to your question: We treat him as the adult he was when he committed the crime. Most of us victims do not go on to abuse children. He had a choice, as we all do.
(our conversation ended here)
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