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PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 10:24 pm 
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It just feels so good to have you guys walk with me through this....no one else understands. My family doesn't even understand. They will always be my family, but those of you helping me learn to fly, are my brothers and sisters "in awesome definition". I am soo thankful that I am not trying to do this alone. I don't think it is possible!!!!!!! When I AM flying???.....ALL of you will probably be some of the first to find out.....(free first class seats to all of you if you trust my flying skills by then. :)


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 05, 2013 10:43 pm 
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Iwillflyagain! wrote:
mosquito bite wrote:
Try it!
Today may be another day!
In the" NEW" ntm.
We contacted over 8 higher ups---most of whom we knew.
We heard from one.
ONE
And he said---essentially---
You have got to stick with ntm think or you will be out.
Being out is the best thing that ever happened to us.
There is MUCH to be done outside of ntm.
But it does take a bit of courage.
AnotherMK---you hit the nail on the head.
It is indeed scary.



I remember, not long before I left NTM, I was feeling so confused, messed up and like something was twisted. Well, I knew I had been all twisted up from them, but I felt everything was sooo wrong. By Gods grace and in no way on my own was I finally able to go to GOD alone, (NO NTM) and ask him to get me out of "this CULT". I could in no way at all get out of it on my own....not in the state they had left me in. I was sooo afraid "of It" and soooo afraid to be "out of it." They had me just where they wanted me. BUT GOD, and by the grace of GOD (without NTM)....he pulled me out of it. I was so messed up, and I know that I have already said that, I don't know how else to emphasize it any more though, than to repeat it. I'm still messed up, but I have been blessed by friends like you all who know what I am talking about. It is a closed world, what we came out of. So closed that no one outside of it understands us. It is sad how we are all having to learn how to walk again, and yet exciting that we are free from the bonds that we were being held by. At least we are learning to be free. It is taking a long time in my case, but slowly I am getting there. To all the friends that have and ARE still walking me through the smoke in my life, I thank you. I couldn't do this without your support.


I managed a one out of 27 response rate. Pathetic isn't it. Of course they've all been wiped now, so there is no way of contacting any of the Australian NTM/crossview personal (except I found a little list, so you never know). But why bother trying to wakey wakey the deaf.
It's a new mindset being free of this, and it's a nice mindset being free. In the words of John Lennon, "Maybe one day you'll (Tribers) join us and the world will be . . ."


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 11:29 am 
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I am a child of the jungle.

There is no end in sight, for me a child once neglected only wanting to be free.

The scars that I possess, some invisible some seen, are not the ones that I am hiding, they are the scars of the jungle that have overtaken me.

I lay my head down to sleep and pray the good lord to keep, those creeping hands from touching me. And if I awake and you give me another day it's on your shoulders this will sit the way he touches me is sick. But you have bigger fish to fry so I will wait and cry, for I am a child of the jungle least I forget.

When I was a child I was touched as a child. And now that I am old I but away childish things, pains, memories, lies I can not say. I am a child of the jungle and this is where I'll stay. Hidden in some banana leaves is where He liked to play.

I am a child of the jungle there is nowhere to run. You are never not the jungles child once you have been its son.

I sit and hear the voices of people walking by and feel the numbness of neglect theres something deep in me. But somewhere from behind the jungle cries my name, you can't escape it's guilt with every whisper of your name, the jungle calls you guilty, the jungle knows me more than I would like to claim, it holds my hand and whispers I will always know your name.

I pray to sleep and not awake but God who hears my prayers finds it more important to listen to my tears. I am a child of the jungle, on me there is great shame. I am a child of the jungle nothing changes but my age.

All hidden years all mystery fears, I am a child of the jungle. And if I die before I wake please don't leave me in the jungle, there is no soul to take. The one I had was taken there. This one is a fake.

Author - My Anonymous MK Friend.

(My heart is breaking...)


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 11:36 am 
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Yes.

Incredibly heartbreaking.

Tears for this child of the jungle.

:cry:

I only hope they know they do matter. To some of us.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 3:52 pm 
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threewillows wrote:
I am a child of the jungle.

There is no end in sight, for me a child once neglected only wanting to be free.

The scars that I possess, some invisible some seen, are not the ones that I am hiding, they are the scars of the jungle that have overtaken me.

I lay my head down to sleep and pray the good lord to keep, those creeping hands from touching me. And if I awake and you give me another day it's on your shoulders this will sit the way he touches me is sick. But you have bigger fish to fry so I will wait and cry, for I am a child of the jungle least I forget.

When I was a child I was touched as a child. And now that I am old I but away childish things, pains, memories, lies I can not say. I am a child of the jungle and this is where I'll stay. Hidden in some banana leaves is where He liked to play.

I am a child of the jungle there is nowhere to run. You are never not the jungles child once you have been its son.

I sit and hear the voices of people walking by and feel the numbness of neglect theres something deep in me. But somewhere from behind the jungle cries my name, you can't escape it's guilt with every whisper of your name, the jungle calls you guilty, the jungle knows me more than I would like to claim, it holds my hand and whispers I will always know your name.

I pray to sleep and not awake but God who hears my prayers finds it more important to listen to my tears. I am a child of the jungle, on me there is great shame. I am a child of the jungle nothing changes but my age.

All hidden years all mystery fears, I am a child of the jungle. And if I die before I wake please don't leave me in the jungle, there is no soul to take. The one I had was taken there. This one is a fake.

Author - My Anonymous MK Friend.posting.php?mode=quote&f=5&p=24425#

(My heart is breaking...)


VERY VERY SAD REALITY!!!! :cry:


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 6:56 pm 
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Sad yes, but also reason for hope.
This is someone reaching out, that is what we want, isn't it?
And look at those of us who also are children of the jungle, but now soar with Eagles. We did it because others helped us and we did it because we took the first steps ourselves.

Those that I feel most aggrieved for are those so damaged by their past that they have not the energy or inclination to reach out. The males who silently boil with anger, the women who destroy their bodies and souls and do not know why, and the graveyards that now tell their families that it is to late.

While there is life, there is hope. If there is only existence, all is not lost, it just takes courage to take the steps to really live again.


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 7:57 pm 
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Yes Bemused, seeing someone reach out in any way they can is surely reason for hope. And for the ones so damaged that they cannot yet talk, or make themselves known here, that is okay. I just hope that through all the words that ARE shared here, by those that CAN at this point talk, the others will find encouragement by reading their stories. I hope and pray that somehow, they will find hope to keep going. FE is not the only place to come for encouragement for sure. But I hope that they know, that they are not alone when they do come here. I have prayed for hope myself, and found that God takes my prayers literally. There is hope....and sometimes it takes time to find....but giving up is NOT the answer. Their is genuine concern here. I have seen that myself. I want the others to see that too. If all they can do at this point is come on here and read, it is okay. Healing takes time...sometimes a LIFEtime!!! ;)


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 06, 2013 5:39 pm 
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Dare to hope. A tiny seed of hope can enable and strengthen. For any hoping to be heard and believed this is the place.


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PostPosted: Sat Sep 07, 2013 9:45 pm 
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This is the place.
Child of the jungle
You are eloquent
You are heard
You are loved
Don't give up
Don't refuse to hope!


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 09, 2013 10:20 pm 
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threewillows wrote:
I am a child of the jungle.

There is no end in sight, for me a child once neglected only wanting to be free.

The scars that I possess, some invisible some seen, are not the ones that I am hiding, they are the scars of the jungle that have overtaken me.

I lay my head down to sleep and pray the good lord to keep, those creeping hands from touching me. And if I awake and you give me another day it's on your shoulders this will sit the way he touches me is sick. But you have bigger fish to fry so I will wait and cry, for I am a child of the jungle least I forget.

When I was a child I was touched as a child. And now that I am old I but away childish things, pains, memories, lies I can not say. I am a child of the jungle and this is where I'll stay. Hidden in some banana leaves is where He liked to play.

I am a child of the jungle there is nowhere to run. You are never not the jungles child once you have been its son.

I sit and hear the voices of people walking by and feel the numbness of neglect theres something deep in me. But somewhere from behind the jungle cries my name, you can't escape it's guilt with every whisper of your name, the jungle calls you guilty, the jungle knows me more than I would like to claim, it holds my hand and whispers I will always know your name.

I pray to sleep and not awake but God who hears my prayers finds it more important to listen to my tears. I am a child of the jungle, on me there is great shame. I am a child of the jungle nothing changes but my age.

All hidden years all mystery fears, I am a child of the jungle. And if I die before I wake please don't leave me in the jungle, there is no soul to take. The one I had was taken there. This one is a fake.

Author - My Anonymous MK Friend.

(My heart is breaking...)


Haunting and compelling words...thanks for sharing them with us.


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