I rang the tax department
They have a call center in North Korea
So I got a chatting to the operator
Who I could hear loud and clear
She said "Mr Bemused
Where your accent from
Me can hear a bit of American
Some Kiwi and some Pom"
"I'm an international creature"
I explained my well traveled past
And she put me through to Beloved Leader
Very Lightening fast
Kim Jung Whats His name
Said "Well well Mr Bemused
I make you an offer
That cannot be refused"
"North Korea lovely country
But we annoy our friends you see
They not like our pile of nukes
Pointed out to sea"
And then he continued
"We need someone with diplomatic skill
Who speak many foreign tongue
These are big boots to fill"
"I hear you Sympathetic Agnostic
But you post on Fanda Eagles site
So you brave or rather stupid
Either way you really is just right"
He said "How bout you think it over
I call you in a two days
Then he wish me all the best
Mentioning really well he pays"
When I put the phone down
It ring straight away
And man with American accent
Offer that he double whatever Kim does pay
He say "Bemused we read your ramblings
On Fanda Eagles site
And now you know Beloved Leader
For us you are just right"
"We want you to spread the gospel
Of peace and love not war
That America loves the underdog
Yes, yes them we do adore"
So I'm weighing up the options
It could be my new Korea
Bemused formerly of Fanda Eagles
Spy and MK extrodinaire