MK forum

Dunno Raz. Tired brain - reading way too much... must have 'seen things'...

Panama and the abuse that happened there will be a surprise to many.
But, for those of us that are affected by it, it will be liberating to know that we were not alone. None of us. For years and years you imagine that you are all alone... and then someone else tells a story similar to yours... and then another one. Soon you have a snowball rolling. Let's hope this snowball hits NTM where it hurts most - and that all of us in need of closure, healing etc actually get it.

Maybe I'm old and cynical, but NTM could have done a lot better in finding and informing MKs. All those Tribers know ex Tribers who know more ex Tribers, but from what I can gather, as "IHART" is independent (but NTM is paying for it) they cannot be seen to be interfering with the process by activiely seeking out victims. This doesn't stop individual Tribers making an effort, pulling their weight.

So you end up with the situation I found myself in, where I contacted every listed Australian NTMer via NTMs own website, to inform them of IHART, why it existed and to check all MKs they knew of. I got one reply from 27 e-mails. And I think that shows what Australian NTMers think of the situation. They just don't want to know, or are to scared to do anything (possibly on instructions from higher up the chain). Which is of course why we now have the Australian Commission of Inquiry into institutionalised child abuse widening its scope to look into groups like "Crossview" (the renamed NTM Australia), remember that it was only until recently that it was the just the Catholic Church being investigated. Having the decency and courage of replying to one Bemused is completely optional, answering to a Royal Commission of Inquiry is not an option.

There are those in NTM who actively support Fanda Eagles and victims. I doubt there are any in NTM who are daft enough to openly say support paedophiles (actually there is one who has said he doesn't care about MKs, and that is close enough, alas I'm related to that one). But the majority I suspect are not living in ignorance, but are pretending they are, so they can sit on the fence, collecting their financial support, till either the ship starts going down or it all just blows over.

Me again....

You will see me flash in and out often. It all depends on my home life I suppose. I am living back with my parents as most of you know. The more I ask questions and demand answers the more I feel I get punished in some twisted way. I won't stop though....I need justice and so do my fellow Mango tree club members

This past weekend I suffered tremendously emotionally as I lost many of my cherished belongings in an onsite storage unit that I was promised leak proof. I live in the NW and we get a lot of rain during these months. My family sat back and watched as I wept over lost children's artwork, grandmother's quilts, my own art and books collected since college. No one offered a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on. In fact I was treated as if I somehow did it on purpose to disturb their Saturday cleaning for Christ day!

I don't understand why I am so unloved or hated in my family but each time something like this happens I hide like that little girl did 30 years ago. This time though I do not have a tree....

I know I am not the only child that suffered in Panama and I know it started when my family was leaving and another coming in. I have missing records, facts that change constantly and parents who refuse to even shed a shred of sympathy for their very own blood.

So I am in this investigation until the end and will follow it all the way through to justice and closure! For all of us. I have another interview coming up and will continue to interview each time I remember more. He may have kicked a 10 yr old down but I am 41 now and have much more fight in me! Guess he didn't realize I would grow up.

mk chame, I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your few cherished items. I know how you feel, I lost some of my children's things that I left at my parents when we left the States. It was from the roof caving in from a heavy snow fall in Iowa. I hope you have been able to salvage something. I wish I could say why these things happen but I can't. I want to be spiritual and say God knows but at the end of the day that does not restore the cherished items. I wish I was there to help you go through what was left. I am good at that. Why aren't you loved? Parents are the few people who can and should love unconditionally. When they can't it is a bigger issue that just "you." Full stop.

oops, should be than not that. Full stop

I really don't know what I would do without my cheerleaders and the constant support I receive from everyone here. My parents love God and to them that is the only love we need. I do feel without God's love we truly can't love but I also feel to love God is to also love all of his creations. My mother loves her 10 dogs more than God and my father loves his libraries of Christian books more than the word of God. Ironic, I feel. Dog backwards is God and all of God's words of love in those books and my Dad has missed the most important words.

I have to put on a happy face today because they are growing leary of my time in sadness.

I was able to save the last quilt my grandmother made me after 10 washings....it is faded but still here. It is the one she made me, with me, when I came home from Panama....filled with flowers that look like daisies (my favorite....a weed!) And also one of my oldest daughter's paintings from first grade and her last one of her senior year. God helped me so all of you were there with me......

perfectly said Three Willows!