MK forum

I did get a copy of the letter, my parents were not happy to pass it on to me. They knew that I don't take things lying down and there great fear was that I would upset their nice little world of happy Mission Memories. They seem to have selectively forgotten that the PNG experience crippled them financially, left my mother a broken women with no opinions of her own and an estranged family. They were visited by NTM staff from Australia, which I only just found out about from an American.

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What happens when one of the male IHART investigators interviews a female Australasian MK and they flip out when they hear the accent? Because that is what could happen.

I came home and tried to forget everything that happened in PNG, but when I heard an American accent, I didn't think of some of the lovely missionaries that I had met, the hair went up on the back of my neck and I thought "Jim Given, Jim Finnamore".
And I'm male, was never sexually abused by an American, so what is it going to be like for a female MK who was. Who is going to speak for them if they can't?

This is an uncomfortable issue to raise, it digs deep into the past and psyche. But the hard issues is what this is all about.

My plea to IHART is, when and if you get the opportunity to interview MKs from other countries than the U.S., seriously consider having a lovely older female maternal type person. Someone who will really care, who is not just clinical, doing their job.

That is VERY crucial advice, Bemused. I hope it will be taken to heart.

As the names of the various investigators have been revealed, there have been very few women's names. The teams seem to be predominantly -- if not exclusively -- made up of men.

This has been a concern to me, as it has caused me to question whether there is an understanding of the dynamics of life for a sexual abuse survivor. My daughters have an instinctive mistrust of males. They prefer female counselors, physicians, and other trusted figures.

Your point about an American accent is also very valid.

I hope someone is listening.

Fancy a trip downunder Raz? I couldn't think of anyone else more caring and loving who is involved in this mess. The anguish you've poured out over your own family is proof of your value as a fellow human.

If NTM were to pay your airfares, I'd make sure every other expense was covered. You would of course have friends to stay with and we would could talk over things while exploring this beautiful little country, sipping beautiful wines (not me, I don't drink, but will buy yours). Trouble is you might not want to go back, so you might have to bring Mr Raz too . And I'm sure Aghast would love a trip downunder, so that is three and Mr Aghast . . .

You don't know how lovely that sounds ... but sorry, Aussie and Radioshack, the only land downunder I've ever dreamed of visiting is New Zealand. So we would all have to gather there.

Just dreaming, of course.

I am not an experienced child sexual abuse investigator.

Raz, would love to have you stay by all means if you have stop over in Australia on your way South so keep that in mind. I'm not offended at all as I'm sure we will all catch up at some point....stranger things have happened. It's only a jump across the ditch for Aussie and I after all.

Genuine repentance.....ah...like NEVER! They weren't accountable to their missionaries, the nationals they worked with/abused, the laws of the land they were squatting in......OR GOD. If they had been we wouldn't have this horrific mess.

I was interviewed by one man and two women so there are women out there that can do the job. They did ask if I was okay with that or if I would be more comfortable just talking to a woman.

This is good to hear, perhaps we were taken notice of months ago when this gender issue was raised.

When I worked in the public health system we often had some very nasty men come in from the prisons, they ended up being looked after by male staff. We also had the occassion when a female patient came in who had been abused, in these cases male staff kept a discrete distance. It wasn't a problem, it was just common sense.

How did you find the interview process? Did it live up to what you thought it would do, or even better? If you have a moment, we'd appreciate your insight.