MK forum

this is just another way of calling us liers!

I think the problem lies more with the posting of names than the actual accusing...

Let me explain, certain members of the forum have been updating the "list." This has been in good faith and it seems with corroboration. But now, two names have been questioned. I do not think that any one of us is calling the victim a liar, but it seems that sexual, physical and verbal abuse is out of character for those two persons according to others. And, considering that specifically nothing was attached to their name on the list, people are questioning. We must be careful to maintain credibility within our ranks.

If it were me maintaining the list, I would require the accuser's name for my own personal files...just for my own cya.

Thank you, threewillows. I, too, am concerned about the two ladies who have been mentioned with no explanation. I posted a name, but there a history that should be easily documented. If I am to err, I will err on the side of caution to avoid a libel, slander and/or defamation of character suit.

Blond, hang with us. Hopefully, our monitor on this site can provide guidance in how to deal with situations like this.

Thank you both, raz and bemused for your guidance in this area. I think we all realiize that it is a very sensitive issue. Praying that God give you both wisdom.

Sorry I've been away from the computer and missed all this activity, FE family!

"The List" has been a tricky issue from the start. I don't consider myself to be the maintainer of the list. One of the wonderful things about this website has been the freedom of it. Not a lot of control and censorship. It's been like an undulating flock of birds in the sky ... first flying one way, then another. Some dropping out, others joining in. Times of relative silence, times when there is so much activity (like today) that you can hardly keep up.

I am certain that none of us wishes to be slanderous. At the moment, the concern is about the names of two women who were posted by mk. It's true that mk didn't share anything but the names, and I added them to the list. I did not seek corroboration, and I did not try to contact mk for further information.

I believe one of the hopes, in the posting of the many names, is that other MKs will see the list and know they are not alone. They will see that other MKs were also subjected to abuse, and they may even see their own abuser's name on the list. We are trying to give victims encouragement and support, to come out of the shadows, find their voices, and make progress on the path to healing.

Some of us have seen our lives drastically changed for the better through our participation on this website. We will be eternally grateful to Kari, Bonnie, and others who led the way out of the darkness.

I hope we will hear from mk again.

May this be a place of safety, validation, patience and sensitivity.

Peace to all.

Perhaps the bottom of the list could be sub headed "awaiting validation".

Don't think anyone can be accused of slander on this website, the correct term for written defamation is "libel", slander is oral defamation and this is certainly a written medium.

Thanks for clearing that up, Bemused. I didn't consult my dictionary.

Bi-kaarumba! What happened on the bus overnight? Bit of a mess. I knew this cross country/continent road trip would be rough going at times. I've had the benefit of a nights rest and woken to a beautiful day unlike our nightshift team.....the coffee can wait.

Yes, I do believe after the history we have all had with NTM we do need to take into consideration the legal ramifications of our postings and requests when it comes to posting names. Posting names is not to be taken lightly and I am sure those that post the names do not do so without insight/background from our friends that request it. I think clarifying the type in incidents involved is important for our sake as well as onlookers.

We all need a place to come to where we share a common history with various shades of grey....and some of us black.

Fellow students and dorm persons read what I have written about my history with NTM with disbelief They have different perspective on the individual concerned. Doesn't mean it didn't happen and I will be happy to stand for what I have written/will write. In my case the individuals name should absolutely be on the list....interestingly... it was on the site before I arrived here.

I can see a Diner coming up......we all need a coffee, some good food and to stretch our legs. Then the night shift can get some much needed rest while the day shift drivers take over. Things always look a little better after some rest.

Perhaps this is a good bit of advice (from the GRACE Facebook page):

"Experts to bishops: pedophiles lie, trust victims" I pray the protestant world is listening.... READ: http://bit.ly/wnlpwK I think that it would apply to wider areas of abuse too.

And while I am not a lawyer, I don't think you can be guilty of slander or libel if you tell the truth.

A big part of the mission of this forum from what I have seen is to give MKs a safe place to raise these issues. A huge part of the problem has been the continued abuse by suppression of the truth. In this forum, I would support the rights of the MKs to name names as needed to bring these things into the open.

Thank you Jerry B for your post! I hope others realize that the "censorship"in this forum needs to be carefully reviewed before being expressed. I too was very shocked and concerned to see the two names that were posted recently, but I'm also sure there must be a reason for it and that needs to be investigated. This doesn't mean that the poster is making up stuff, I would like to believe.

I know that many of us get shocked at many of the names posted. But one thing is for sure: Nobody can say that they know perfectly well a person, because our lifetime is not enough to finish knowing any person fully.

MK,
I believe you, for what that is worth!

I also understand your reluctance to share something, only to be shot down, even by (maybe, especially by) complete strangers.

I think, however, on balance, that the IHART group can be trusted to treat your history with fairness and confidentiality. If you are in doubt, maybe you could write to someone at GRACE and get their input first. And, of course, Kari and Bonnie are worthy of your trust and confidence. They are firmly in your corner, and may have some ideas on this that will give you more confidence.

Finally, you need to understand that YOU COUNT! Most people who were abused (in whatever way, be it as children, adults or children and adults) will never come forward - many of them, no doubt, for reasons very similar to the concerns you have expressed. If you can get beyond this, not only will your experiences add credibility to the overall picture, you may well embolden others to speak out.