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Dear Dad,
I know you’ll probably never read this, but I’ll write it anyway.
In October of last year, I stumbled on a website called fanda eagles, which lead me on a voyage of discovery. It confirmed what I saw and experienced as a child growing up in NTM. I have discovered that I was not the only victim of NTM, but there were many other children in many other countries who had similar experiences. For all my adult life you have told me that what I saw and experienced never happened, that my childhood was a priviledge and that I had a “bitter spirit” for suggesting otherwise.
On the recommendation of another MK I purchased a copy of a video called “All God’s Children” and watched it the other day. I wish you could see it, but I know you would refuse and if I gave you my copy, you would destroy it like you have anything that does not agree with your view of the world.
I recognised myself in this video, others experiences and outcomes because of their experiences explained why I am the way I am. I found others who’s faith had been destroyed and who did not have children because of their own screwed up childhoods. But these others had one thing that has always been denied my sisters and I, they were able to talk to their parents about what happened to them, in that they were fortunate, for you have always flatly refused to call the family together and sort the mess out that was our childhoods, despite being begged to.
And so I saw you in this video to. The cold, cruel, calculating servant of your god, who denies that abuse took place, who when confronted with irrefutable evidence said, “It is not my concern”. A man who proclaims the love of his god, but couldn’t care less about his own children and the children of others. A man who lived next to a paedophile who was jailed for sex offences and you know had access to your own daughters, yet you still don’t want to know.
I don’t grieve for the normal relationship we should have enjoyed, you are out of my life now and that is a tremendous relief. There are only two scenarios in which we will interact again. Firstly if by some miracle you realise what you have done and make an enormous effort to heal the damage. Or secondly, I find out that you sexually abused a child, in which case I personally will turn you in. I don’t hold much hope for the first option, you are a strong hard man with to much pride to loose if you take that option. As for the second option, you were a dorm parent, you were surrounded by at least 4 paedophiles (two of whom you called good friends) and your reaction when I asked you point blank if you had ever sexually abused a child was most odd, not the reaction of someone who should have been utterly shocked to be asked such a question.
And that’s about all I’ve got to say.
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