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MK forum • View topic - What if reporting abuse hurts our friends?

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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 2:32 pm 
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I have some thoughts that I'd like to throw out there to get batted around. In my mind they are somehow tied to the topic of this thread, but perhaps there is a better place to post them? Let me know what you think...

I'm thinking about the emotional hurdles and challenges to leaders (now stay with me here for a minute ;) of applying policy (which will hopefully be the result of reporting abuse) to those they have worked with, knowing that it will cause heartache in many different ways for many different people. Interestingly enough, what I think I find in scripture is actually at the foundation of NTM's core value of reaching the lost! :shock:

We know that God not only extends grace and forgiveness to sinful man, but He embodies those principles; they are not just His practice, but are an integral part of His very nature. And yet His 'policy' is that without repentance there is no remission of sin. As much as He wants all men to come into relationship with Himself, He is bound by His policy. And it certainly isn't a lack of grace and forgiveness that prevents God from having a relationship with every individual -- rather it is the justice of His nature that insists that policy be kept. And many "good" people will suffer eternal damnation because of that policy.

In fact, missionaries are so convinced that God's policy is both just and inescapable that they give their lives because of it. As difficult as it is to reconcile in our minds at times that "good" people who have never heard the gospel are still going to hell, we accept it as truth and live our lives accordingly. It seem to me that applying a mission policy which has difficult repercussions falls into that same category. Although it is difficult, the willingness to following established NTM policy regarding the consequences of abuse would be a proper application of that Biblical principle.

Living out truth is often very difficult, but it is always necessary. And beneficial. Report your abuse.


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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 2:46 pm 
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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 3:05 pm 
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Thank you Paul, for those thoughts. You use Triber vocabulary to express them, but in this instance, I see value in doing that. These thoughts are not coming from some non-religious person who can be disregarded because "oh-don't-listen-to-them-they've-strayed-away-from-the-fold".

I agree with you very strongly that NTM leaders have not been consistent in applying their policies and their punishments. It's not too hard to kick a new recruit out of the training because they've been smoking in the boys' room. It's quite another matter to consider bringing shame to a family whose grandparents, parents, and children have held prominent positions in the mission for generations, but are hiding putrid secrets in their family closet. Secrets that have destroyed many lives because of cover-ups and denial.

What sort of discipleship is being modeled when policies are in writing, but not applied in real life? When sin is not "dealt with" and abusers will live on unscathed because they have the right connections?

Yes, Scripture does back you up, Paul. This may not mean much to some who read this. To others, it should mean a great deal.

It SHOULD mean a great deal.


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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 4:48 pm 
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Both Paul and Raz have nailed it here.
Sin has consequences. Atrocious acts of Abuse can not be ignored. Sure I feel for innocent family members, but have doubts that spouses were unaware of pedophile acts committed by spouses. Even so....If a person commits murder then punishment is Due! Child molestation is as damaging as homicide in my book.


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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 5:03 pm 
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I think one of the fallacies is that just atrocious acts can't be ignored. But over time, behaviors such as shaming children, using mockery to demean a child, not providing for any individualization of children, and disregard for the wishes of a child can lead to a whole system that causes great harm.


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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 5:13 pm 
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I agree AllBetter. I consider all of that Abuse that damages for a lifetime.. Definitely!


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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 6:11 pm 
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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 9:18 pm 
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PostPosted: Fri May 02, 2014 10:40 pm 
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A lot of time to think? Me too! Not because I don't have stuff to do . . .its just that I can't help it! I'm now mulling over the "emotional hurdles" line about leadership and dealing with abuse.

Maybe this is where some outside help might be warranted?

How confident are you in NTM resources? Anyone there with scientific backgrounds that can read a statistical analysis? Or compare peer-reviewed journals from non-Christian sources? How about mental illness diagnosis and treatment? Theories on aging and the brain? Any pediatric specialists?


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PostPosted: Sat May 03, 2014 7:21 am 
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