MK forum

Yes. As friends we have the opportunity and privilege to help each other be better people. But we often categorize friendship as the place where you feel good. So when something is wrong, we then don't even go to that friend.

But I want to be a friend for the good times and the bad. Like going to a wedding of a casual friend, having a good time, then finding out they're divorced a while later . . .there is a phrase in Portuguese that doesn't have a good translation . . .its "sem graca." It's tough to pick up later, like when your kids go to school together, but you never really knew what happened. Do you stay away from spiritual subjects? Money issues? It's a big gap.

When there's a big issue out there unstated, the gaps just increase. As we've seen seen, isolation and paranoia can lead to uglier and uglier consequences.

OK, I realize I'm possibly very unique on this site because I tend to live my life asking questions when I'm uncertain and facing off with those I disagree with.

So I'm curious, and if it isn't totally unacceptable I would like to conduct a little poll here, if I can...

#1 are you male or female (that isn't a yes/no question )
#2 are you an MK?
As an adult,
#3 do you instinctively fear authority,
#4 when something goes wrong, do you assume it is your fault,
#5 do you see yourself ( this is how you know yourself to be, not just as others perceive you to be) as a people-pleaser, well balanced, or brusque.

I’m pondering these, of course, in the setting of the unnatural environment of boarding schools. Of course it might also fit those who are from legalistic and/or authoritarian home environments. Are there any other settings in which you have seen this occurring?

I'd love to hear your responses, if you are willing.

Hmm, the poll thing just isn't working for me--it feels invasive and authoritarian. Maybe if I was autonomous on here, and had not disclosed so much already, it would be no big deal.

Or maybe it's just the exhaustion speaking . . .

Perhaps others will take this on . . .

I'm sorry, I should have pm'd that, and left the slate blank

Paul, I've written many an embarrassing post . . .no prob