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MK forum • View topic - Dear Dad I just want to know

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PostPosted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 11:53 pm 
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Dear Dad,

I know you’ll probably never read this, but I’ll write it anyway.
In October of last year, I stumbled on a website called fanda eagles, which lead me on a voyage of discovery. It confirmed what I saw and experienced as a child growing up in NTM. I have discovered that I was not the only victim of NTM, but there were many other children in many other countries who had similar experiences. For all my adult life you have told me that what I saw and experienced never happened, that my childhood was a priviledge and that I had a “bitter spirit” for suggesting otherwise.

On the recommendation of another MK I purchased a copy of a video called “All God’s Children” and watched it the other day. I wish you could see it, but I know you would refuse and if I gave you my copy, you would destroy it like you have anything that does not agree with your view of the world.
I recognised myself in this video, others experiences and outcomes because of their experiences explained why I am the way I am. I found others who’s faith had been destroyed and who did not have children because of their own screwed up childhoods. But these others had one thing that has always been denied my sisters and I, they were able to talk to their parents about what happened to them, in that they were fortunate, for you have always flatly refused to call the family together and sort the mess out that was our childhoods, despite being begged to.
And so I saw you in this video to. The cold, cruel, calculating servant of your god, who denies that abuse took place, who when confronted with irrefutable evidence said, “It is not my concern”. A man who proclaims the love of his god, but couldn’t care less about his own children and the children of others. A man who lived next to a paedophile who was jailed for sex offences and you know had access to your own daughters, yet you still don’t want to know.
I don’t grieve for the normal relationship we should have enjoyed, you are out of my life now and that is a tremendous relief. There are only two scenarios in which we will interact again. Firstly if by some miracle you realise what you have done and make an enormous effort to heal the damage. Or secondly, I find out that you sexually abused a child, in which case I personally will turn you in. I don’t hold much hope for the first option, you are a strong hard man with to much pride to loose if you take that option. As for the second option, you were a dorm parent, you were surrounded by at least 4 paedophiles (two of whom you called good friends) and your reaction when I asked you point blank if you had ever sexually abused a child was most odd, not the reaction of someone who should have been utterly shocked to be asked such a question.

And that’s about all I’ve got to say.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:56 am 
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Bemuse, what a powerful letter...... Wow My thoughts are with you


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:49 pm 
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Powerful.
And SAD.
We stand with you, Bemused.
And appreciate where you are NOW.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 1:50 pm 
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Bemused--
We applaud who you are!
You have been a true friend-
Globally.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 2:43 pm 
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VERY CORAGEUS!

It is very hard to deal with those "question marks" about parents. It is hard and painful to even suspect that mom or dad would be abusers in any sort of way. I have been through this too. I still ache. Be brave, bemused! You are of much support to me and I am sure to others!!!

I urge anybody who has been reading in this forum, if you have been molested or abused, COME OUT! Let everybody know the name of the pervert so he can engross the black list and be accountable for. This forum will support you.

If you see spelling mistakes, let me know... :roll:


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 4:31 pm 
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Don't worry about your spelling mistakes nor do we not need to worry about our grammar or punctuation or anything of that nature. The abuse is all that matters here, bringing the culprits to justice so the abused can at least get some relief from what happened to them, that is what is foremost in our minds. Yes, I am with you, agree totaally, this forum has been helped by bemused, he has been undoubtedly transparent and in that many have been helped. He has also helped put a smile on faces so the tragedy can for a moment be dimmed. Full stop.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:28 pm 
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Almost a year ago now, my life and the lives of many of our city was turned upside down by a major earthquake. In the last year most of us have had to rebuild our lives, but it has been an interesting lesson in human nature and behaviour.
The one lesson that I have learned is that one should help those that cannot help themselves and those that are prepared to help themselves and others. Those that don't want to help themselves or others, leave alone, life is to short to waste ones time.

On Fandaeagles I have found a group of people wanting to help themselves and others, so I feel at home in a strange way. Of course like the earthquake, I wish it had never happened, but it did and now with the help of others life is better than it was in that period of terrible turmoil.
I will be ever grateful for the friendships I have made through this experience and the help I have had in my journney of healing.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:53 pm 
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Dearest forum friends:

My comment came out very bitter; it probably was. My emotions took over me, I'm sorry. I will probably have to say "sorry" many times, because as you will understand, this sort of things just boggles ones mind.... and one gets overwhelmed by the anger...., and the impotence of not being able to go back and get even with the abusive person. I have to confess I am still bitter and angry about what happened to my sister. Also, I always thought likewise, that no adult has no right to expose a child's anatomy. And Susan Major had her bend over and drop her pants.... anyway... sorry again... I am sure you understand...... this is getting harder everyday..... confronting one's fears and past hidden bad experiences were harder than I thought.

PLEASE FORGIVE ME IF I HURT ANYBODY'S FEELINGS. PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY COMMENTS PERSONALLY. This forum for me is a great support and as bemuse said, I consider it a family for me.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:05 am 
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Blond, we want you to feel safe here. Anger, bitterness, questions with no answers, battles with no victory ...

We all understand all of that.

No need to apologize. There is no need to be afraid anymore.

Come out into the light. The light of truth.


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 03, 2012 12:07 am 
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