MK forum

Found this on the front page and thought it raises a good point. "Perhaps NTM has been TOO focused on it’s very important mission to not also give this area the attention it SO deserves. I think this is a human issue, of course. I think hiding in the shadows of deliberate ignorance about sex is terribly determental to us all. I believe we should openly, candidly, and publically speak in a healthy way about sex. I think we should teach our children from a very early age (3) about the facts of life and our Bible studies with them should include Leviticus chaper 18, etc. My “ignorant instincts” about this have proven to be correct. Listen to your heart, as enlightened by the Word and Spirit of Jesus. To ignore the fact that we are sexual gives place to the Devil. I know it’s uncomfortable to address the issue but somebody has got to lead the way and have guts to do it! Consistently" as per Ed French

I suspect all the sex education in the world is not going to prevent a paedophile from their offending, but it would probably go someway to enlightening a child as to what is acceptable touching and what is inappropriate behaviour from an adult.
In my hormone raging teenage brain at an NTM high school I interpreted the sex education lesson as drilling into me that it was something that happened on the wedding night, the heavens opened, birds sang and you had arrived as a man. (I think if you were a woman you just put up with it, but I might be wrong as I wasn't allowed to go to the girls session). Then you had 2.4 kids and ended back up on the "mission field". Of course parents were also expected to enlighten their offspring re the wonders of such matters. My education was completed by being given a book to read and being told to wash my naval daily (still wondering why I'm washing my naval daily, can anyone enlighten me on that one?)
I've wondered if there is a correlation between this lack of insight and the early age of marriage of many MK's and has this led to problems of its own.
There was no mention of contraception, diseases (except aids, which only homosexual people got and they weren't going to heaven anyway . . .) e.t.c., just the horrors of doing it before one got married and having to have an abortion.
So imagine coming back to the real world and ending up training in the medical profession, those classes on the genito urinary system were a complete revelation!

I remember when I was single on the mission field talking to another single gal about masturbation and she was shocked but also relieved because it was something she was struggling with too. I think just like on this blog talking things out does give some comfort and relief. I believe the devil likes to keep things hidden so you feel shameful, guilty, isolated and helpless. As you say open, honest sharing about sexuality is healthy. I was asked for input regarding the training in Missouri and I mentioned this area not sex education specifically but sexual matters - same sex attraction, group sex, masturbation etc... Conditions on the mission field can make you very vulnerable and sex can be a way of comforting yourself and releasing stress. For some people for whatever reason they don't like to talk about it but I'm weird in that way I like to talk about it.

Tuti ... and this is why we like you! Thanks for being so real! And thanks for sticking around even after that go-round last week. I appreciate your tenacity, and am glad we are back on track, with our focus on ways in which NTM failed to prevent MK abuse in the past, and suggestions for how things can be different now, in order to protect today's vulnerable children.

This has turned out to be a most enlightening thread and totally agree. Most humans weren't designed to be sexless (Catholic Priests exempted of course, oh hang on, maybe not). Always wondered how little New Tribers were made (the Stork delivered them) and here was me thinking it really was just a number between five and seven, spelt wrong.

I'm sorry for the confusion you had and for your experience with NTM. When I went through the training in Australia I don't remember any class or any talk about how to deal with issues of sexuality. I think the married couples had some kind of class but I don't know what that was about. There was nothing for singles. I remember our class being made to watch a video of a woman having a baby, wow that made me feel ill. I remember thinking what are we all sitting here watching this for? It was weird. I guess they thought that if you had to deliver a baby in the bush at least you would have seen a video of it.

Oh does this hit a nerve. Child abuse excepting, the Mission's stance on sex ed, either the lack thereof, the complete miss information, and/or the warped teaching thereof, can probably be traced as the cause of many, many, many issues with MK's today. Hormones and desires are normal and meant to be explained as such. Lovingly directed by parents teaching their children how wonderful it is to find and fall in love with someone.

Meanwhile, this concept was completely distorted by the fear that abounded in boarding school. The shame of possible pregnancy led those in power to teach, bully, punish and belittle anyone who exhibited any feelings toward the opposite sex. The message I received loud and clear was the sex was bad, touching a person of the opposite sex was bad and therefore you were bad. Your feelings were dirty and sex was dirty.

But low and behold, when you, by some miracle, found your mate, well then, sex was good and godly. Come on! How is a person to have any normal relationship after that? Is there a switch inside you that would turn all the brainwashing done to you with regards to evil sex and suddenly you would have a godly and fufilling sex life within the bounds of marriage? You cannot unlearn this.

Not possible...ever...

Couldn't have said it better myself. As you say there was such an enormous fear that two of us hormone charged teens might engage in something we shouldn't that the rules set in place included solitary confinement for physical touching and up before the field committee for a grilling for the second offence. Probably explains the mad rush up the aisle for many MK's just to find out what great mystery they'd been missing. Meanwhile it turns out some of our missionary parents were having affairs with each other, can't explain the hypocrysy in that one.
Better go, time for my daily naval washing session.