MK forum

If you still wonder what devastating effects the sexual abuse of a child can have, take some time to read these two links, and your heart will be broken all over again:

http://www.dailyprincetonian.com/2011/01/07/27306/

Bill Zeller's suicide document. Note what he says about being raised in a strict, judgmental fundamentalist Christian family:

http://gizmodo.com/5726667/the-agonizing-last-words-of-bill-zeller

There's a lot written in that note that sounds very familiar....some of it, almost identical. =(

I can't help but think that there are some of our MKs out there suffering alone. For years I had no contact with anyone but immediate family members that knew me in Brazil. Should we try to find people that we think we affected? Is that too invasive? Or is too important not to? What about their parents? I certainly would never put their names on here . . .

That is a great question that I don't know the answer to. I know and love an MK who refuses to discuss anything at all about her painful past. I worry that internally she is beating herself up just like Bill Zeller did. But how do you force someone to come out into the light of truth?

Sometimes just exposing our MK friends to what others are saying here on this website or on other websites/blogs helps them come to terms with what happened with them. I know it helped me. If your friends don't want to come on this website, start another one. PNG MKs started a FB page (closed only to PNG MKs) which hopefully gives a place for them to discuss a little more freely than somewhere where they know anyone can read what they have written and figure out who they are. I know the Mamou kids did that too. I don't know that the PNG MK page has totally taken off in that way, as many are hesitant or don't want to go back to the painful parts of our past, but some are discussing the hard stuff and hopefully it is helping some. Yes, go after your friends who are out there alone!!!!!

I had a total of two people say to me something to the extent of "you're not as okay as you think you are." Each person only said it once, but those comments stuck like glue, and I couldn't get them out of my head. The people in question were not mk's or associated in any way with my past, but I think that for me, those comments were key in me being willing to look at my past honestly. Somewhere in the recesses, I knew they were right.

That probably would have been better for me . . .I had a therapist that said he thought I was ok, if I wanted to get something from the doctor for anxiety I could . . .vague, neutral, or spiritual advice. I felt compelled to work with people in need, was a counselor for homeless women in a shelter, then runaway girls, psychiatric hospitals, group homes for boys, then mentally retarded people, all before I was 30, when I went to nursing school.you got to watch out for those do-gooders!