MK forum

Dear fellow MKs:

The most active participants on these forums have not been actual survivors of sexual abuse in NTM schools. Some of us adult MKs are survivors of physical and/or emotional abuse. All of us, in my opinion, are survivors of spiritual abuse within NTM. Some of us are here because members of our family were abused. Each of us cares passionately about shining the light of truth so that survivors can see their way along the lengthy and treacherous road of recovery, toward redemption and healing.

Survivors, we need your voices! Whether you speak up on this forum, communicate directly with the CPC or NTM, or prepare to participate in the investigations that will hopefully begin to take place this year, I am asking you, please tell your stories. I'm not sure how to interpret the lack of posts from MKs who suffered at the hands of NTM caretakers and other school staff. We have pushed long and hard to prod NTM into investigating the abuses that many of us know you suffered. I pray this effort does not fizzle. We need you to corroborate our reports.

As an NTM MK myself, and the mother of two daughters who were molested by a dorm parent who was a trusted co-worker and friend, I want you to know my heart aches for every MK who has been collateral damage - a casualty of friendly fire - in the battle for tribal souls. It is not fair, it is not right, and it never should have happened.

We seek justice. We seek for your stories to be heard and believed, and for all possible means to hold your abusers accountable.

We love you, and we need you. Please be courageous and don't hide in the shadows any longer.

No more secrets.

What an awesome post, Roy. (Sorry if your name isn't really Roy... easier for me to remember you.)

You are so right on the money! I was thinking today, how when I found out that my health issues precluded me from pursuing my career with NTM and I was so young and so devastated- after all, I had planned for years to be with NTM- that NOW, now, I thank God I was skipped over. I shudder to think how young and impressionable I was and how easily I would have fallen into that mindset of discipline had I married and had children within NTM.

And you are right- the parents were victims as well. Of spiritual abuse and 'brainwashing' in so many ways. I will never, ever, ever forget visiting my good friend from Bible School at boot camp one day, and she was spanking her baby - maybe 6 months old- because he was crying when she laid him down for a nap.

All that to say, I think it is a wonderful idea for parents to tell their stories as well. I know some parents seemingly don't care, but many parents (I think of Raz here) are grieved and sorrowful and wish they could go back and do it all over again. So yes! Let's hear them, too. It has to be a very lonely road for those parents as well.

OK, I realize now your name is ROB, not Roy. Sorry!

MrsM you have my permission to correct my spelling whenever it irritates you. Praying for God to give you peace and healing.

As a proffessor my spelling must horrify you at times. tee hee

There are a number of reasons why people will not share their experiences, even with the relative anonymity provided by screen names. We may not agree with them, but I hope we can have sympathy for them. And, as opportunity presents itself, perhaps we can alleviate some of the potential issues.

Here is a short list:

1. I've lived [x-number of] years with this secret, and I'm doing pretty well. I don't see how giving it an airing at this time is going to solve anything.

2. I do not want to embarrass my parents. They would be destroyed by this stuff.

3. I have lied about this in the past and I don't want to admit it now. It could jeopardize my job/ marriage/ reputation.

4. I do not feel that I was altogether guiltless, and I'm sick and tired of people telling me I was.

5. I'm thankful for those who have gone out on a limb and held NTM accountable, but I don't see how my doing anything at this stage is going to make any further contribution.

6. The perpetrator is dead.

7. I'm [x-number of] years old. At the rate NTM is handling these things, I'll be dead and buried before they get around to my school. As it is, NTM has not even made an official statement of the number of schools where sexual abuse occurred. I haven't got time or energy for this.

8. I grew up to be an abuser myself. I know it is wrong, but I can't stop. Shining a light on NTM is going to reflect enough light on me that I get caught. No thanks. I want help, but not jail.

9. I really don't care. It wasn't right, but life is hard, then you die. Nothing is going to change the past and I have no desire for all the mental torment that goes with this.

Again, we may not agree with all (any?) of these positions, but as rroym has pointed out elsewhere, we would best serve those who hold them to listen. . . and learn.

Good list, Gene.

I'm not sure that some of those items are not legitimate reasons for not disclosing certain things. However, all must be weighed against any benefits of disclosure - namely, the prospective protection of children.

Very tough issues, indeed.

in many cases, addressing certain issues will commingle the past with the present, causing the two to be inextricably intertwined. The past if a very dangerous thing, and I, too, would hesitate to engage it without first obtaining a very large bamboo stick.