As recently as the Grace Report and this Blog, I’m finding a resolution that was impossible before without the validation necessary.
Kids constantly pick up cues from adults. If a child lives under suspicion, is it any wonder that they would have an awful time with undefined guilt?
If a child’s boundaries are invaded by an adult, is it any wonder that they feel powerless later on and have an awful time establishing healthy boundaries?
Patterns have been established and unless another adult (person with similar authority) intervenes to define right and wrong for that child in regards to actions taken against them, the patterns remain.
As long as the patterns remain, they are being reinforced. Until that person finds “the voice of truth,” they’re stuck. They may be stuck with nebulous guilt, an awful shame and uncleanness, and terrific fear. Then, if those in authority treat the wrong as minor, brushing it aside, or worse, treating it as thought nothing really happened, they throw out that child/person with the trash. Is it any wonder that person is left feeling like refuse? To say nothing of the powers we wrestle against who leap at the chance to destroy the weak.
And if it is true that it takes about 7x the effort to correct a wrong, is it any wonder that person has a very difficult time receiving/believing truth? Multiply this by the extent of the wrongs.
I’ve seen this cycle in my own life over and over and over again and each time, I get it just a little more deeply. God is relentless.
Restoration, then, is two-fold: 1) identifying the wrong (sin) 2) replacing it with the right (good)
No wonder repentance is such a healing thing. Instead, what I have often seen are “cover-all” general apologies along with a call for “forgiveness” i.e. “let’s all just forget this ever happened and move on.” (Which, I think is equivalent to the actions described in James 2:15-16.) Repentance is specific, resulting in definite action(s) which can include some kind of compensation – the old, “how can I make it up to you?” Interestingly, the onus is place on wrong-doer to take the initiative in making things right. “If anyone has something against you…” (Matt. 5:23) Status quo for Kingdom citizens.
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