MK forum

I see a theme among many of the posts here, mainly regarding educating, making policies, putting safeguards into place, training, and the like.

I would like to be so bold as to say that I believe these things are, as I stated in another thread, working from the outside in.

No amount of education, training, reading the right books, safeguards, policy or checklists is going to keep children safe from abuse when the core problem is NOT that people were not educated, or trained, or safeguarded, or well-read, or poli-cized (not a real word, I don't think) or even checklisted.

The REAL problem came from the hearts of sinful men (and women) who committed the abuse and then those who covered up abuse. These people knew without reading, training, education and so forth that what they did and were doing was W-R-O-N-G. They KNEW it was sin. That is why they covered it up.

The people who DID know that it was wrong and sinful and were willing to take a stand, well, I'd venture to say that they didn't have to read a dozen books and 20 policy manuals and attend 200 hours of training on safe child policies to know that the abuse was sin. In fact, I'll be so bold as to go as far as saying that the only thing these people needed was the Holy Spirit and God's Word. <GASP!> And what happened to them? They were pooh-poohed, shunned, ostracized, made to feel like spiritual inferiors, lied to and bullied...

And as Mike Sullivan said time and time again: "Righteousness convicts unrighteous." So if we don't like the conviction we're receiving, well, let's just send the "troublemakers" away.

I would not spend much time on policy and education. Not at this point. It's trying to stick a finger in the dam and it's going to collapse under pressure.

What think all of you? I think it's a nice little diversion tactic to keep from dealing with what really needs dealt with.

I disagree. I think education and policy are absolutely necessary from this point going forward. It protects the children of the future by implementing a system that is meant to protect them in the following ways: defines abuse; educates parents, teachers, students about abuse; sets up a protocol for dealing with abuse (1. believe the victim 2. file a report--mandatory if you are a teacher, counselor, dorm-parent, etc. 3. investigate the claim 4. report to authorities), sets up accountability for any person in direct contact with children under the age of 18, and sets up clear consequences for any who perpetrate abuse.

I hold education in high regard. First of all, it does what it claims to do: educates. We cannot take for granted that our children know what is appropriate touch between an adult and a child, or a child and another child. We must educate them. In the absence of parents in a boarding school setting, this must be taught by the leadership of the school, much the same way as a program on bullying is taught in a school setting today.

I am a teacher by profession, and the first experience I had with education on bullying was when I had to teach it. I was AMAZED at the amount of information I did NOT know about bullying before being required to teach it. It was enlightening to me as a teacher, and I hope it helped my students understand that bullying is not something they should engage in. The program defined bullying, gave examples, and allowed students to role-play handling a bullying situation.

Because of the unique challenges of a boarding school scenario, abuse education needs to be a necessary part of the curriculum on all levels. It can be part of a Bible curriculum or just a special "chapel/assembly." You cannot, in this day and age, just "assume" kids know what is appropriate, and we have to give them tools to defend themselves.

That being said, education for the adults is just as important, especially considering the astounding number of perpetrators on the list among the few schools that have participated in this forum! This education may not keep perpetrators from abusing children, but it certainly should serve one purpose: accountability...something we can all agree has been a common factor missing from each of the abusers mentioned here. Of course, this educational program should reinforce the "Zero Tolerance" rule!

Hi HnH,

I did not mean to imply that no education was necessary ( or policies and safeguards), and you are right in saying that these things are necessary.

However, even if NTM *does* educate children as to what is good touch/bad touch- if there are still abusers working within the mission who are in charge of children, well, it's not going to be very helpful for the children.

I guess my point is more that *right now* I think the focus needs to be completely on cleaning house by whatever methods are quickest and deal with the past and present abuse (before it turns into future abuse). THEN NTM can and should focus on policies and safeguards. But policies, education and safeguards are only as good as the leadership implementing them. And IMVHO, until we are assured that leadership (and not just Larry and the EC, but at all levels) are above-board and are willing to face all abuse allegations, facts and charges head-on, I don't think they are anywhere near ready for implementing policy and educational plans that will be truly effective.

So perhaps we agree after all??

HnH, I wholeheartedly agree that education is absolutely vital. There are children right now who need tools, empowerment, safeguards, advocates within NTM. The investigations will go on and more will be uncovered and undoubtedly more "housecleaning" will take place. But the children who are *right now* living life amidst perpetrators cannot wait for all the cleaning house to be wrapped up.

Education IS powerful! And unfortunately recognizing abuse (that others are undergoing) and knowing how to stand against abuse (oneself) is not common sense. The education we and our children had regarding abuse was indispensable. In fact, it would be helpful to have periodic reviews on the subject, both for children and adults, so rather than just one class, one chapel session or one week of training at NTMI or MTC, rather regular (say annual) classes regarding abuse.

I see what you are saying, but I guess I don't know how education, policy change and safeguard helps *now* if nothing else changes within NTM.

For example, if the children at Via, let's say, were educated against child abuse and knew it was not OK for someone to touch them, etc... who would they have gone to? The leadership showed time and again that they were not a safe place for the children.

So if policies change and people are educated, if the core isn't taken care of, it doesn't help anything.

Again, I am not *against* education and policy changes. I think it is needful and will be an important part of the future of NTM. But at this point, I don't see it making an impact overall unless and until the root issues are taken care of first. To me, it's like putting the cart before the horse.

I think both issues are key. Thus it is important to do both actions at the same time. Also, we need education for both the children and the adults. To often evangelical believers have no clue about the sneekyness of these perpetators. So they think we've done a criminal backround check and it was clean so we are good to go. However, most do not understand that very few of these people have criminal records meaning a criminal backround check that is clean does not tell you a whole lot.

I agree with you, Mrs. M, in that there definitely needs to be a radical heart change within the leadership in order for the education to accomplish its intended purpose. Education will be one way to show that NTM makes protecting its children a priority.

And yes, who would the children report to?? Good question...one I wrestle with regularly, even today...the feelings of distrust and disillusionment run deep. I guess that is why we are hoping for a reckless repentance on the part of the leadership...and yet, the longer we wait, the harder it is to believe any real change has taken place!

Let's not forget that today there are kids at Via, and elsewhere, that need to be educated. They are vulnerable. Also,there are teachers, dorm parents, and leaders that need to hear the facts of abuse: the horrible realities, the devastating affects, all of it. Only when we are all on the same page can we make steps to a healthier world for our little ones to grow up in.

I am an MK who was not sexually abused. However, through this website I have discovered the depths of brainwashing that I endured and how it has affected my life.

As MrsM stated, there is much talk of education and policy change. I, too, believe this is a defensive move. For years, I endured negative propaganda regarding boys, dating, sex. The field we served on was small, as was the boarding school. Everything was under a microscope. Every infraction scrutinized. These people in charge were "educated" in this area. It was policy. No touching, no feelings, nothing. So I ask you, if the powers that be could educate their advocates on the field in this way, why would they say they couldn't (didn't) educate them regarding sexual abuse. How many kids were kicked out of school because of kissing, touching a boy/girl? How many marriages are struggling or have actually failed because of this damaging brainwashing? Many, many MK's stories would be different if NTM had put their energies into 'education and policy' of sexual abuse like they did with dating and sex.

My father always taught us that if you truly want to do it, you will do it. NTM didn't want to educate or change policy. It was just children. We were the 'red headed step child' of the mission. No rights, no voice.
Well, I hear a voice on here. I hear a scream. Keep screaming, someone will eventually hear.