MK forum

I've been pondering the draw of this forum for me and others . . .as one of the not-physically and not-sexually abused MKs. Here are some of my thoughts, and I would love to hear yours:
1). I bear witness to what happened at Via. No, not that I understood what what happening at the time, but I bear witness that the sweetest girls that ever lived were in the "Little Dorm", while I was next door. That these little girls never told their secrets to us, that they grew more quiet the longer that they were there, and now I bear witness via this forum to their present and remembered pain. I'm incredibly sad for them and cry frequently about that. I'm so proud of my little sisters, for who they've become . . .
2). I believe we are just now reaching into the depths of what a non-equal society does to it's most vulnerable members . . .I for one, will never associate with a church that doesn't give equal voice to it's female members. (Please spare me any "teaching" discussion about this. I had enough "under male leadership" stuff in my early years that it makes bile want to rise . . .. There is a point in which all logical and "biblical" points cease to make an impression--)
3). Last, I believe that we have hidden too much, and have isolated ourselves from each other in order to forget . . .I'm refreshed to hear how we've changed. It actually makes me laugh when I hear of how "rebellious" we've been the last twenty years!!!!! It's been quite the sociological study . . . So please keep talking, I have to believe that I'm not the only one having some deep soul wounds being healed in this process. Love you guys!

Traevbru--

Your words are meaningful. Although you did not experience physical or sexual abuse, you acknowledge the pain that exists for those that did live through that nightmare. Your role is important: validation. That is the one thing a victim needs most--for their abuse to be recognized and dealt with appropriately. Validation is saying: "I acknowledge what you went through and I want you to know that your pain is recognized!"

When I lost my baby, after having her for only 21 days, the people who had held her, who had witnessed her short life, validated the pain I felt at losing her. Although they had not lost their own daughter or grand-daughter, they felt grief too, and that allowed me to accept my grief fully. In some way, those people who had a chance to meet her or hold her, understood my grief more fully than those who never did.

So, Traevbru, your experience of living "Via" and feeling the grief you feel over the abuse that happened to your friends allows you to grieve with them and to validate their grief. I hope you know how priceless that is!

Thanks for putting it into words. And yes, for those who talk here, or listen here, the process of healing is beginning to take root. It is a messy process, and few outside of this can truly understand what it is like.

Love,
Hurt-n-Hopeful

HnH, I'm so sorry to hear about your baby. Pain comes in so many forms in this world, doesn't it. Oh for the day when all tears will be wiped away ...

Thank you, Raz. And yes, the Hope of Heaven is a very real comfort, no matter what our trial is!!

In November I wrote about known and unknown soul wounds. Some of my unknown ones are coming to light. For example, as children our relationships with other children weren't important enough to pursue . . .so, for example, some of you I last saw in freaking 1984!!!!and them some in 1987. If you look back to the graduation pictures, I was the one with the red-rimmed eyes and swollen nose. We knew that if our program had the traditional graduation music, the tears would start at the beginning of the program, so we walked to Chariots of Fire instead. Several writers here are on the field right now with a whole new generation of MKs--my advice to you is to take your childrens friends and relationships seriously, travel if you have to to make sure they have time and can keep in touch. They are really, really going to need each other.

It's been hard to keep those relationships close. Everyone else in my class chose to attend Waukesha. I had no desire to. At that point, I wasn't against NTM, but I just needed to figure out who I was outside of it. I'm thankful I did, but I do sort of wish that there had been another way to stay close to the people I spent me entire childhood with. I've seen my best friend from High School once since we graduated. I've seen my cousin, also in my class, once- at my wedding. The other classmate, well, it just never worked out, I guess. Our home bases, for each of us, were in different states, and that made it nearly impossible, on an MK/college student budget, to make trips to see each other. Time goes by, you feel disconnected, and when you do pick up the phone, it is awkward.

I've seen a few other people from time to time, and it is nice to see them. Some seem to have adjusted to American life perfectly well, and others, like myself, seem oddly out of place no matter where we are.

Still, we all share a common experience, and many of us had a lot of really great times together- inside jokes, fun times, bonding moments. I miss that! I miss being part of something. It's taken me nearly a decade and a half, a marriage, 3 kids, and 3 churches to finally feel that again. And even now, when I talk about my childhood, I'm the only one who can relate. It's like I was raised on another planet.

Hardest question to answer, EVER: "Where are you from?"

The founder of this forum is a Peregrine by nature. I tell many people that I am a nomad. No home, no roots , just meandering through life. I think God is trying to fix that in my life but I don`t know if it is possible.

I'm just a poor wayfaring stranger, traveling in this world of woe . . .(Burl Ives version is best . . .)

the "Where are you from?" question... I don't even go into the whole MK story anymore. I just tell people I grew up overseas, spent 10 years travelling around the U.S. and finally settled in Virginia. The whole explaining what my parents do, what a missionary is, why they were missionary's etc is just too long of a story and I try not to get into it.

Even though we are putting down roots here, I still have to travel. I take a long weekend trip about every 3 months and that seems to satisfy my restlessness in staying in one place for too long.
Thankfully, my husband loves to travel so it works out well. We are off to a beer and wine festival this weekend, camping, hiking and one night in a bed and breakfast. It's going to be great!

JJ

The "itches to travel" Isn't it great!!. My daughters and I keep an active passport, just in case we want to go overseas. It is so hard to sit in one place!!