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Here is some of my story. Here is the reason I feel so strongly about this issue. Here is why I cannot stand to see another child abuser and molester NOT get the punishment the law requires. Here is why I abhor cover-up:
I grew up in a Christian home. I won't go into details because I'm not as brave as many of you are. Let's just say it wasn't an easy home to grow up in.
In my 9th grade year, my parents sent us to a Christian school. It was a very legalistic church-run school, run by the Daddy Pastor, his son the Principal, his other son the Assistant to Daddy Pastor, and their wives and sister and such. The place was controlled by fear. Girls had to wear dresses or cullottes. Daddy used to sit outside the movie theaters and see which of his parishioners were attending. Very holier-than-thou. Yet, a few years after I graduated, it came out that Principal was molesting his 3 year old daughter. And his down's syndrome sister in law. And little boys at church camp. The girl with down's and her mother were close to me. I babysat the girl and taught her classes at church and spent time with her mother.
Of course, the whole thing blew up and the family rushed to the side of Principal. And he got a slap on the wrist. Then he moved up north, married a widow with a few young children and guess what? That's right. Molested them. So then he spent some time in prison. About a year, getting off early for "good behavior." And now he's living his life, free as can be. And I see on his facebook that he pretends to be very spiritual and is very involved with his church that has little children. He is registered as a sex offender, at least. One year of prison for ruining multiple lives.
Next chapter- Our family attended a nice, little conservative church with some fellow homeschoolers. Our children made friends, had fun, went to people's houses. Then one day my 11 year old daughter tells me that "My friend said her Dad makes her touch his _____" We, being naive and never having dealt with this up close and person, not knowing who to call, called our pastor. The pastor said he would take care of it. Then ensued meetings and discussions. First, the deacon's wife had to go visit the little girl and make SURE she was being molested. Then the leaders had to talk to the molester's wife about confronting her husband. She decided to go it alone (why? because she knew of the abuse). Then the pastor had to meet with the elders, who were: a doctor, a former school teacher... both mandated reporters in our state. They had to have more meetings about what they were going to do. Finally, we took matters into our own hands and the abuse was reported.
For that, my daughter and I were blackballed. The church embraced the molester. They gave him support. They didn't tell anyone. The only thing they required of him was to read a letter and "confess" to the church. All he had to say was, "I hurt my family." No one else knew he was a molester. No one in that church offered my daughter any support whatsoever. She lost all her friends there. Meanwhile, the molester was being welcomed with open arms. (I made sure famlies with children knew this man molested his daughter.) They covered it up and went on as usual. The pastor sent me an email quoting scripture about not going before unbelievers in a court of law, and going to your brother first if he sins against you.
I learned that a relative of mine- a minor- was threatening some of my young children and forcing them to do things along a sexual nature. My husband and I talked with this relative's parent and we were basically made out to be the bad guys. My family didn't want to talk about it. We made a rule that this relative could never be with our children alone again. The forced coercion was minimized. People were unhappy with us. It was all blown over.
And now I learn that a mission I have held in high, high regard since I can remember; a mission where I had friends; where I graduated from one of their Bible colleges; where I served as an associate; where I attended Boot Camp; where I thought I would serve as a missionary... is doing all these things. Covering up. Not being forthright. Not cleaning house. Not reporting crimes. Minimizing what happened. Being secretive and silent.
I said in one of my posts a while ago that I was an associate in Via for six months. It sickens me to know the students I loved and cared for were being abused and terrorized and I didn't know. It sickens me that instead of taking the bull by the horns and getting to the bottom of this, New Tribes is having meeting after meeting after meeting.
My story is different than many of yours, but it is my story and why I am passionate about ending this cover up of abuse. Why my blood boils when I read these stories and hear about the people who should have cared and done something, but didn't.
When I read your stories, it makes me think of my own children and how I would feel if it had happened to them. I don't think I could contain myself. That is what spurs me on... this should never have happened and should never happen again to any child, ESPECIALLY in a Christian organization.
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