MK forum

Well said, Kari.

I think some people are forgetting that this forum is made up of hurting people, many of whom have suffered grievous abuse, and who are just now finding their voice. Those who lurk and read here, and have nothing to say beyond, "Boy! Look at all those rebellious, vengeful, bitter kids trying to cause more trouble by digging up the past" are focused on the symptoms, not the problem!

I think that the more people that have a voice here, the more value the forum has. Whether we agree or not. If some people get scared away then it doesnt seem like a real open forum and loses its power to be really helpful.

Hurt-n-hopeful, timeto:

Well said! Those victims who are speaking out are a powerful source of comfort to those who have yet to find their voice. And, none of us has all the answers; we all need input from others.

I commend the Fanda Eagles for starting this forum, and I salute those victims who have taken the time to post. There are no words to express my admiration for you all.

Dear Kari,
Please forgive me for hurting you by what I said. I'm sorry that I made you feel abused again. I want to learn and be a voice of healing here not to make you feel abused again. I think you have been excellent in how you have written on this blog. I want to affirm all those who write on this blog. Please continue to be honest with me in how I'm communicating I appreciate it.

Gene wrote to me and I couldn't figure out how to reply so I thought I would just put part of my reply here.

I agree with you as far as the sexual abuse is concerned NTM is only now really starting to address this.

For me I have seen changes more in the area of individual liberty for individual missionaries. I could go into the negative examples I experienced and saw before the changes started to happen but that would fill up a few pages. I don't want to go into lots of detail I don't have time but here are a few things. Partnership development has changed a lot, we are now able to communicate directly and clearly our financial needs to people and give dollar amounts, a lot more freedom and training there. The last year I was in training they started to give a day off a month for letter writing. They started changing the rules concerning going to the movies, watching TV etc. A lot of these legalistic type rules were starting to be removed back in 97 and it's very different now. Keep in mind that I went thru the training in Australia but from what I hear similar things were happening here in the States. There are still those leaders and individual misso's in the training and on various fields etc who are autocratic and legalistic so more work needs to be done there for sure.

In regards to the sexual abuse yes we have a lot of work to do there. Unfortunately I think it is going to take a long time which is very sad for the victims and their families. I too want more communication, more real compassion and compensation for what they have suffered. Hopefully once these last personnel recommendations are finalized and the future of the next investigations is clarified they can address the MK retreat which should give an opportunity for victims and their families to address these issues directly to leadership. How, what, where this is done will be a crucial step in the healing process and for the future of "How NTM deals with abuse". I especially want and am praying that Brooks, Gates, and Goulart are put behind bars. That goes for all the other sexual abusers as well, to see justice done. Dismissing the ones in leadership who were incompetent, negligent or covered up the abuse on purpose and reporting their behavior to their supporters and sending church is necessary too. What else can be done to protect others from the wrong mindset these people have? Would appreciate your ideas.

It is very sad that these victims and their families have been shown no compassion and have not been communicated with (re: Les Emory). These are some of the questions my husband and I want to ask Dan Kreider when we can arrange a get together with he and his wife.

Tuti,

The impersonal and legal approach NTM has taken in which to communicate through monitors, GRACE, formal processes, and the like has damaged their credibility with abuse victims and their families and freinds. Communication some times comes accross as defensive, accusatory in some cases (requiring mental telepathy to understand NTM's meaning). There may be good intentions behind NTM's efforts but this method adds to the pain of the abused by minimizing or marginalizing them (or at least that is how it feels to the victims).

It is very difficult for victims to beleive NTM has set aside its agenda to get to the bottom of all the past and current abuses and work toward healing when the urgency is not redily apparent to outside observers. Personal delivery of letters to Fanda abusers and law enforcement in the abusers' communities is a good start. However, at this rate, how long will it be before NTM leaders deliver letters to other known abusers? The point is, that NTM will go about its investigation at a pace equal to what it feels is most important. Will this effort pull resources from efforts in the tribes or will it commit the same error of making the reaching the lost more important than the healing of its wounded MK soldiers who have born the brunt of this error in the past?

NTM, you have to ask yourself just how important is this matter to you? On a scale of 1 to 10 is this a 5, 7, 2? Please be aware that the world is watching, MKs are watching and our Father in Heaven is also watching. I think everyong wants NTM to succeed in addressing all sins of abuse whether in the past or present.

I have difficulty beleiving that NTM actually grasps the magnitude of what it is dealing with yet. I would like to beleive but time will tell.

I'm not sure why so many are silent. I think that the reasons you give are true but it seems like there must be more to it than that. I'm puzzled by it but can understand that some people just don't see it as any of their business when it hasn't happened to them and they were not involved in the abuse and they don't know anyone involved. Once more investigations are done and the extent of the abuse comes to light and is openly talked about maybe then more people will speak up. I don't know.

What is happening with the petition? How many have signed it and what is the reaction/response so far?

It is very hard for people to speak out against something they are or have been a part of.

If they are still "in," they leave themselves open to charges of disloyalty.

If they are "out," they will be painted as bitter.

And, no one wants to hurt his friends. This entire conglomeration is seen as hurting NTM and its missionaries.

Not saying it's right, just saying it isn't easy and I do understand.