Thank you, Sherpa Dude, for your challenge to be reckless. Yours has been a welcome and needed voice on these forums; you are able to speak to the heart-felt needs and address the experiences of many in ways that are unique. I hope others will be as reckless; we would all be better off for it!
Arara Azul, thank you for the level of scholarship you brought to bear on this topic. I've read and reread your post, and it looks like the sources you have found do not contradict anything I've posted so far, though they give a little more depth and substance to it. I think that is the case, at any rate, but if anyone else has a different opinion on it, be reckless and post your insights. It can only help.
And, don't worry, Threewillows, I'm going to try to avoid any more oblique references to political affiliations. That little faux pas makes a pretty good argument for an editor, I know. Or, maybe a censor. As well as a good example of being too reckless!
There is a tremendous amount of pressure brought to bear on Christians to "come to a place of forgiveness." It is almost as if the proper response to any offense is to begin by forgiving. After all, we are told, God forgave us. What we are not told, and what we often and to our own detriment forget, is that God forgave us on the basis of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ. God did not first forgive us and then send Jesus to die for our sins. I know that is picky and pedantic, but that makes it right at home on this thread. And, it is also foundational, which really ought to make it at home on any thread.
I gave several examples of forgiveness above, but each of them could have been handled legitimately without repentance and forgiveness. It is entirely acceptable, according to the Scriptures, to overlook offenses, faults, sins. In fact, it is said to be an honor to avoid strife (Proverbs 20.3) and a glory to overlook an offense (Proverbs 19.11). This is not just an Old Testament concept. I Peter 4.8 tells us to love deeply, reminding us that love covers a multitude of sins.
Ignoring, overlooking or covering sins is not the same thing as forgiveness. That doesn't mean it's not a good idea. Most of life's irritations can best be handled this way. It's certainly preferable to being confronted with complaints about things that are described as "almost sin," an experience that I found to be an impossible trap. Even making concessions to do things my critic's way was unacceptable: "You're just doing it because you know that's what I want, not because you really agree."
Interestingly, it is generally the small, insignificant issues in life that grow into the huge, interminable fights among Christians. Things that could have, and should have, been overlooked are not. Instead, they are stored up, harbored, mulled over and gossiped about until they become topics of Christian confrontation, "personal ministry" or other incarnations of "church discipline."
A long list could be made of such things, but that is beyond the scope and purpose of this thread and even this forum. And, no matter how long the list became, abuse of children will never fit into the category of sins that can profitably be overlooked.