MK forum

In response to many questions about "how can we get more parents to speak up about this issue?" and "How do we spread awareness?" and "What can we be doing to get the ball rolling?" I came up with this letter which you can copy and paste into your own e-mail or Facebook message, modify it to fit your needs, and then send it to everyone you feel should see it.

The following post is a letter (somewhat revised and edited) originally directed to Mission Boards. The original post was written by Via Wings under the thread "Dear Mission Boards."

Please feel free to leave your comments for the benefit of all of us.

Dear Parents of MKs,

I’m writing this letter asking you to take a few moments and consider the cost. Consider the cost of reaching the lost with the Gospel. Consider the cost of sending your kids to boarding school during their formative years. Consider the cost of abuse against your child, and their friends, at the hands of those you entrusted them to. Consider the cost of the cover-up by the Mission when said abuse was reported. Consider the cost.

If you are part of a Mission and you are reading this, please know that what I say here is intended to prevent or diffuse the storm that is brewing, a storm that has the potential to become much worse. I understand the potential this storm could have on the mission you work for, the same mission that carries the message of Christ to the lost. This storm does not have to be the result of the work of Satan, but it will be if you chose the wrong response.

Your natural instinct is going to be to fight for, and protect, "the mission." Don't. I understand that response well. It is in all of us. It is a fear response, and a cowardly response. It comes from the dark places within you, from a place of insecurity and uncertainty. What if they sue? What if we are forced to shut down? That place is not of God. Many of you that are reading this know that I am speaking the truth because you feel it now in your hearts. If you feel that, speak up! You need to be heard. If you cowardly choose to fight, you won't win. Your systems, in oppressive methodical ways, have cognitively and behaviorally taught us MKs, who instinctively know when we are not valued, to be ferociously independent, resilient, resourceful survivors. We were taught well, most more than me. If you choose to fight against us, neither party wins in the end. It will just end in years of court and legal battles, ongoing stories of scandals, more and more bitter MKs and unforgiving supporters. And Satan will have won.

The place that is of God within you, where courage and acting in integrity comes from, and I believe this about you, is to respond with grieving hearts that take responsibility for the crimes committed against these ewe lambs of the Shepherd and for the negligent systems that could not protect their hearts.

If you haven’t yet read the G.R.A.C.E report on the abuse at Fanda, read it! You probably will want to avoid doing so, but don’t. Read it. Weep. Mourn for the loss of innocence. Rage at the injustice. Be broken before the LORD! What happened at Fanda also happened at many other schools run by the mission. Allow yourself to feel the crushing avalanche of untold stories and raw emotion that are finally escaping deaths shadows. Let it overwhelm you till you are drowning in it. That is the courageous response.

These voices, like the voices of your own children, have been silent for too long, the pain too deep, to remain silent. Step into their shoes, try to see life through the eyes of kids who never knew peace, only fear. Who lived a plastic Christian life on the outside, but lived in lonely darkness on the inside.

Come along side the wounded MKs. Encourage the imprisoned voices to finally be set free. Pray for them, cry with them, cheer for them, celebrate when another finds their voice to tell all and begin their journey of healing. Help them to find the clarity that they are OK and it was the system that was messed up, not the other way around. There are already a few in this forum who are modeling that for the rest of you, we praise God for their courage and integrity.
Repent and apologize. You don't know how powerful that is!

Take action. Encourage your mission to take action! There are many MKs who are grievously wounded. Use all available resources, and I mean all, to take care of the MKs you neglected long ago. Make MKs your mission’s priority. If you can't take care of the kids God entrusted to you, how will God honor you taking care of other business? That is the economy of the God that I know. Financially make yourself resourceful. Therapy and counseling is very expensive. Some have even had psychiatric hospitalizations and residential placements.

As a mission board, in light of what has transpired, leaders should immediately and decisively remove any perpetrators, offenders and negligent administrative staff from amongst your midst. We know who they are. If you don't, just ask. Your mission can't move forward with them. The damage is done. Their credibility is lost. They won't gain the trust of MKs, missionary candidates, nor regain the trust of supporters by harboring them in your midst. They must do it now and make it public.

Consult with MKs on how to fix the system. We are your greatest resource, and we have a lot of ideas. Procedures and practices regarding MKs and family life need overhauled immediately!
Encourage your mission to close boarding schools. There is not a Christian psychologist or Christian counselor anywhere that thinks boarding schools for kids is a good idea. As sad as that is to me, and a lot of us, I know it is true in my heart. MK schools where kids live with their real biological parents have more potential. However, even better and more importantly, put your mission’s resources into how they can support families on the field, with home school education resources, resources to encourage parent - child relationships, trained counselors/therapists, etc...

I pray that you read and listen to this posting with humility. I am hurting, I am healing, and I want to help. If you feel the same, join us on the fandaeagles.com site. Go to forums, and find the school closest to your heart. You can remain anonymous, but please show your support, share your story. Start there, and let God’s Spirit within you show you what He would have you do.

Sincerely,
Your Name/ MK from ___

This is a good letter! I hesitate to say anything additional, but my plea is that I have been requested to . . . AND I am a parent of three MK's!

Noticeably missing from these forums are . . . pastors of churches that support NTM, Inc. or missionaries they employ. If you know of churches that support NTM, Inc. or its missionaries, consider writing them a polite letter bringing this situation to their attention (believe it or not, not everyone knows about this!). Here are a few guidelines:

Do not use profanity; there is no reason to raise the crimes committed or the cover up to these unwarranted heights. These things are beneath the contempt of any words you can find. You can be graphic without being vulgar. Use legal language if you want, medical/ forensic language if you are capable of it. Be forthright.

Emphasize the cover up. I do not say this to detract from the heinous crimes, but to highlight the responsibility that must be borne by NTM, Inc. Churches delegate oversight of the missionaries they support to NTM, Inc. These churches need to see how miserably and utterly NTM, Inc. has failed; NTM, Inc. has not been unfaithful in small things, but large. This does matter to churches, pastors and missions committees, whether they respond to your letter or not.

Suggest alternative ways that their missionaries can serve. It is possible to have even a tribal ministry outside of NTM, Inc. This is the 21st century now, and communication is such that churches can have a lot more direct oversight of/ input into their missionaries' ministries than ever before. Pastor X and his church are probably going to have more love and concern for the missionaries they know and support than NTM, Inc. is going to have for them!

Show as much passion as you feel, but remember that your first objective is to convince people, not rant. Ranting, raving and screaming have a place, and this forum is probably pretty safe for that! But, if you are trying to get someone to get off the fence and take a stand, those approaches are likely to be counterproductive. I do not defend the uncommitted, but I admit that it is very difficult emotionally for people to abandon ship, even (and sometimes especially) when it is sinking. No one is going to be convinced by intellectual arguments alone; emotional issues play a vital part. It's a difficult balance to maintain, but we all need to try.

The light of day needs to be shone!