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| Alice in Wonderland http://fandaeagles.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=1331 |
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| Author: | Bemused [ Thu Oct 24, 2013 3:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | Alice in Wonderland |
Alice in Wonderland Once upon a time In a land lets call Wonder A character called Alice Dropped in with crash and thunder O.k. if this sounds somewhat familiar Well, not this version of this tale So sit back, relax And have a sip of thy favourite ale So we start with the White Rabbit Skipping across the field The disappearing down a mighty hole Which Alice should have sealed But oh no not Alice Curious kind of girl She drifted down the rabbit hole Life flashing before her in a swirl And as she tired of falling With mighty thud her trip did end And she saw before her three doors But no sign of rabbit friend And as previously mentioned Curiosity was her middle name So she opened up the door Which unlocked to the key upon her chain And sauntering in gaily That means happy in case thee ask She saw two strange men A going about strange task Tweedle Jim and Tweedle Jum Were debating right from wrong For they considered themselves experts In theology, hymns and evensong And they argued for hours at length In pious tones and words So absorbed were they in arguing They saw not the trees and birds And when finally they saw young Alice They spoke to her with piety For she was but a girl And as such a non entity So Alice wandered on And spied the King of Hearts With all his loyal subjects Playing their submissive parts The King pontificated loudly That all were equal in the land Except for those not truly blessed And were not as he was grand He said "behold it is written Or spaken unto me And ye have not the right to question For I have dominion over thee" And the King of Hearts went to conferences In the land of Diamonds, Clubs and Spades Dining at taxpayer expense With fancy suit and lovely shades Just then Alice saw a feline It faded in and out of view The Cheshire Cat of Wonderland Who did of sin a great review Oh did I forget to mention Scandal rocked this strange and foreign land So twas ordered an investigation Hailed as very very grand And the Cheshire Cat smiled strangely As it came in and out of view With that strange Mona Lisa smile That accompanied the sin review Then just around the corner A teaparty was in full swing With a strange looking individual that "We welcome you" did sing And the table was all laid out As the Mad Hatter sat with vacant stare The Dormouse and you guessed it A troubled March Hare The Mad Hatter stammered "I see no evil here" And the Dormouse replied "We do no evil, never fear" Of course you are assuming That the March Hare said he heard not a thing But he said nothing of the sort For he's deaf and missed the cue type ring O.k. so this is not how you remembered This story of long ago But hey, I'm writing my own version And I was there, so I really know Oops, sorry, confidential information This story is about a girl called Alice Forget the lines above Must be interference by heart filled with malice No I am not admitting I am bitter This story is not about me Oh why have we deviated Lets get back to Alice and the tea party Right back to the story Yes a magic mushroom Alice spied And beneath it four familiar faces Playing music that could not be denied "Let It Be" sang the four As the magical mystery bus pulled into view "Strawberry Fields Forever" George, Paul, John and Ringo too Then came a loud announcement From the King of Hearts Such raucous musical celebration Were not listed as accepted arts And Tweedle Jim and Tweedle Jum Delivered personal ministry To all those who listened to the music Played under the Magic Mushroom tree Then Alice spied the White Rabbit And said "I wish to go home you see" To which the Rabbit looked most perplexed As he sipped his herbal tea "You can check out any time" he said "But you can never leave We do not give refunds for this trip Be joyous and do not grieve" The Mad Hatter and the Dormouse Sang the chorus and refrain "Give generously to the cause And a tax refund you can claim" "Didn't anyone tell you" The March Hare spoke in monotone "You have to wait till graduation day And then you're sent home all alone" And then in monotonous monotone As he had hundreds of times before He lectured Alice on being grateful For all the grass laid at her door He pointed to a fence in the distance Stressing that the grass was a green illusion That if one partook of what lay on other side One would have a life of lost confusion As for grass under Alice's tootsies He assured her all was green Especially with the rose coloured glasses With which it really must be seen And then before Alice knew it Graduation Day did arrive And Alice was made to give a speech Thanking all for helping her survive So she bid farewell to the Cheshire Cat The Tweedles and Mad Hatter too The King of Hearts and his entourage And Wonderlands who's who She checked out for the final time Although a part of her would never leave And there was no way she was a going back That lost part to retrieve So there we have it folks The strange story of a child called Alice Who had a life of childhood poverty Dressed up as royal palace Of course Alice did survive Went on to write her memoirs in a book Of which the above is the edited highlights At which we got a glimpse and look And behold I've come to the end For all stories must come to pass Thank you for joining me and Alice On a journey through the Looking Glass |
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| Author: | Raz [ Thu Oct 24, 2013 10:42 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alice in Wonderland |
Wow, that was AWESOME! Thanks for mentioning Tweedle Jim. Yes, we must not forget about him. Maybe someday he'll get his due. Maybe. |
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| Author: | Bemused [ Sat Oct 26, 2013 12:02 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alice in Wonderland |
Dear Alice Welcome back from Wonderland Go forth and get on with life Be brave and do not ask for a hand Yes I know I am your pastor But look I'm too busy with my flock And you should contact your mission It is they who are your millstone rock What! They don't want to know you Well, the good folk are probably busy too Why don't you go on Fanda Eagles Yes that's what you should do Yes, yes I hear you aren't coping But my wife and I are to busy to even care So let us end this correspondence Come back when you have cash to spare For there'll be a warm welcome As you tithe most generously For behold it is written Blessed are they who give to me |
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| Author: | Raz [ Sat Oct 26, 2013 10:49 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alice in Wonderland |
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| Author: | Aussie [ Sun Oct 27, 2013 2:31 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Alice in Wonderland |
Take out the name "Alice", insert "Aussie" and this is my story. Dumped out of MK land and told to just get on with life. No wonder some of us make a real mess of our lives. This should be compulsory reading at Numonohi and every other mission boarding school, but that would take a long hard look into the looking glass and it's just smoke and mirrors instead. |
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