And that is the whole point of this site and journey for me. Firstly to get myself through the mess of the past and then be able to render assistance to others to help themselves achieve the same, if that is what they want.
Sure it comes at some cost, but the person I can live with is myself and that is important. I can get up in the morning and know I have nothing to hide, that I don't have to tip toe around my father for fear of another session of bizarre personal ministry where he feels he is ordained by the Almighty Himself to say whatever offensive claptrap is crossing his depraved mind and not listen to any reply.
I am free to fly, to truly live and not just exist. And I have found happiness and contentment that I have not had for many many decades.
NTM and my father will never again dominate my thoughts with doubts of my own value. There will be no more Bemused the victim.
There will no doubt come a time when it is pertinent to bid a fond farewell to Fanda Eagles and embark on another slice of the journey, but till then, sorry you'll have to put up with the ramblings a bit longer
(and the groans from across the sea can be heard upon the wind
)