MK forum

So, I am the perpetual student. But in my defense I learn a great deal of very interesting things. This week's assignment has taken me into a book called 'Shame and Guilt'. I would like to quote a little something... :

[...] Shame is an extremely painful and ugly feeling that has a negative impact on interpersonal behaviour. Shame-prone individuals appear relatively more likely to blame others (as well as themselves) for negative events, more prone to seething, bitter, resentful kind of anger and hostility, and less able to empathize with others in general.
Guilt on the other hand, may not be that bad at all. Guilt-prone individuals appear better able to empathize with others and to accept responsibility for negative interpersonal events. They are relatively less prone to anger than their shame-prone peers – but when angry, these individuals appear more likely to express their anger in a fairly direct (and one might speculate, more constructive) manner.
~Tagney & Dearing, Shame and Guilt 2002 (p 3)

(I have highlighted some words...)

/KL

Ouch. I hope all the children of shame-based religion find healing. I know I regret my part in passing such sentiments on to another generation.

People are still here!
You're all still here!
But so sad that this has to be the topic to bring forth a response.

I find freedom in the fact that my guilt has been paid for.
And have been comforted about my shame, also.

In a shame-based culture we are familiar with---I see the response that your quote describes. Whew!
HIT IT ON THE HEAD.
(Not NTO this time....but maybe there too.)

My Dear Raz,

Few of us are perfect, we have all made errors of judgement, what distinguishes the commendable citizens of the world from those less commendable is what we do about our errors of judgement.
Yes most people feel guilty to some degree about errors of the past, but although one may not be able to correct the precise incident of the past, if one can make the world a better place for others by acts of kindness, caring or empathy then one can lessen the load of guilt and walk a freer person.

If we all left our little corner of the world a better place than when we found it, life would be so much easier for us all.

And I wonder...
If sex is such a dirty thing
WHY are there so many pedophiles and sex-abusers in NTM...
Is there some secret attraction in 'the Mission', something that is like a 'fly-trap'?

The general attitude that is portrayed makes something God-given into something from hell... something to be suppressed, something to be controlled violently, something that should be hidden, done in the dark and no one should know about it.

Yet, the stories we tell, and hear from others who have been put thru very tough abuse are mostly sex-related.

What is wrong with this picture? Who twisted things? WHY????

Yes, it is terribly twisted, isn't it! And extremely hypocritical as well.

Some New Tribes missionaries preached like Puritans and lived like they were from Sodom.