Its been two years since my original post (below) with recommendations was written...since then I've cried and grieved, and healed and grown..... just wondering...have you? Jesus met me on my path and I am in a much better place. I hope you are too!
If you mission boards might evaluate yourself based on my list, two years later, how would you do? Anyone care to share your results? Please post or PM me or email
duane98.6@gmail.com - I'd love to hear from you. If your response is meant to be confidential it will stay confidential.
Posted: Wed Sep 22, 2010 10:52 pm
"If you are part of a Mission and you are reading this post please know that what I say here is intended to prevent or diffuse the storm that is brewing, a storm that has the potential to become way worse. This is coming from an MK who strongly believes in the words posted in the T.I.M. building in Via, Ide pregai, and understands the potential this storm could have on the mission you work for that carries the message of Christ to the lost. This storm does not have to be the result of the work of Satan, but it will be if you chose the wrong response.
Here are my recommendations and I'm sure others will add to them.
1. Your natural instinct it going to be fight for and protect "the mission." Don't. I understand that response well, it is in all of us. It is a fear response, and a cowardly response. It comes from the dark places within you, from a place of insecurity and uncertainty. What if they sue? What if we are forced to shut down? That place is not of God. Many of you that are reading this know that I am speaking the truth because you feel it now in your hearts. If you feel that speak up, you need to be heard. If you cowardly choose to fight you won't win. Your systems, in oppressive methodical ways, have cognitively and behaviorally taught us MKs, who instinctively know when we are not valued, to be ferociously independent, resilient, resourceful and survivors. We were taught well, most more than me. If you choose to fight neither party wins in the end. It will just end in years of court and legal battles, ongoing stories of scandals, more and more bitter MKs and unforgiving supporters. And Satan will have won.
2. The place that is of God within you, where courage and acting in integrity comes from, and I believe this about you, is to respond with grieving hearts that take responsibility for the crimes committed against these ewe lambs of the Shepherd and for the negligent systems that could not protect their hearts.
3. Allow yourself to feel the crushing avalanche of untold stories and raw emotion that are finally escaping deaths shadows. Let it overwhelm you till you are drowning in it. That is the courageous response. These voices have been silent for too long, the pain too deep, to remain silent. Step into their shoes, try to see life through the eyes of kids who never knew peace, only fear. Who lived a plastic christian life on the outside, but lived in lonely darkness on the inside.
4. Come along side the wounded MKs. Encourage the imprisoned voices to finally be set free. Pray for them, cry with them, cheer for them, celebrate when another finds their voice to tell all and begin their journey of healing. Help them to find the clarity that they are OK and it was the system that was messed up, not the other way around. There are already a few in this forum who are modeling that for the rest of you, we praise God for their courage and integrity.
5. Repent and apologize. You don't know how powerful that is.
6. Take action. There are many MKs who are grievously wounded. Use all available resources, and I mean all, to take care of the MKs you neglected long ago. Make MKs your missions priority. If you can't take care of the kids God entrusted to you, how will God honor you taking care of other business? That is the economy of the God that I know. Financially make yourself resourceful. Therapy and counseling is very expensive. Some have even had psychiatric hospitalizations and residential placements. I've been in therapy for over 7 years myself.
7. Immediately and decisively remove any perpetrators, offenders and negligent administrative staff from amongst your midst. We know who they are, if you don't just ask. You can't move forward with them as a mission agency, the damage is done, your credibility is lost. You won't gain the trust of MKs, missionary candidates, nor regain the trust of supporters by harboring them in your midst. Do it now and make it known loudly.
8. Consult with MKs on how to fix the system. We are your greatest resource, and we have a lot of ideas. Procedures and practices regarding MKs and family life need overhauled immediately.
9. Close boarding schools. There is not a christian psychologist or christian counselors anywhere that thinks boarding schools for kids is a good idea. You can find that in "The Journal of Duh". As sad as that is to me, and a lot of us, I know its true in my heart. MK schools where kids live with their real bio-parents like the Cuiaba SIL model have more potential. However, even better and more importantly, put your resources into how you can support families on the field, with home school education resources, resources to encourage parent - child relationships, trained counselors/therapists, etc...
I pray that you read and listen to this posting with humility. I am hurting, I am healing, and I want to help. You know how to reach me."
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