MK forum

No one from NTM has corrected or clarified what I posted almost a week ago, under "Future Investigations", in which I described the way I understand the IHART investigation process is to play itself out.

Three different groups of investigators, selected by Pat Hendrix, are presently interviewing abuse survivors from three NTM schools. It is my impression that what happens next is loosely defined, possibly not clearly thought through, and maybe even flexible.

SO .....

I propose that we may have a window of opportunity - right now! - to influence the path that lies before us.

If survivors have hopes and expectations, beyond the actual interview event, of things you need or want from NTM, I believe NOW is time to state those expectations. Clearly. And loudly.

I am starting this thread in hopes that you will post your clear expectations for NTM, Pat, and IHART to read. So there can be no doubt what you expect.

If we don't state our requests clearly, then we may hear this response in the future: "We didn't know that's what you wanted."

Let's make sure there is NO doubt about what we want, need, and expect.

I look at the GRACE report on the abuses at Fanda as an example of what I would like to see at the conclusion of the IHART investigation process.

Some of the features of that report which I believe we should see produced by the investigations of other schools and abuses are:

1. Strict confidentiality, anonymity and privacy for all victims and their families.

2. Clearly naming/identifying all abusers of MKs, whether they are former NTM members, present members, retired members, dead, alive, US citizens or non-Americans.

3. Clearly and boldly naming all other NTMers who covered up abuse, minimized it, lied about it, failed to report it to authorities (actual authorities, not just some hotline operator), failed to expose child abusers, failed to notify their churches and supporters, moved them around from one ministry to another, one field to another, and in any other way enabled child abusers to continue to hurt children overseas or at home.

4. Clearly defining expected consequences to all abusers and to those who covered up their crimes.

5. Clearly defining steps to be taken to apologize to victims and their families, and ways that survivors might be aided in their path of recovery and healing.

6. Acknowledging ways in which the NTM system in general set the stage on which abuse of MKs took place, and identifying changes that need to take place to prevent present and future abuse of children in NTM.

*****

Just a few things that come to mind. I know there are others. Please add your thoughts.

NTM to hand over files to law enforcement agencies so as justice can be done and these agencies can take the action that NTM has refused to despite the evidence they hold. NTM is to play a minimal role in this process of justice once files are handed over as they have proved themselves clearly untrustworthy throughout the past 40+ years.

NTM to "sit in the corner" only providing assistance to law enforcement agencies/cases as requested rather than attempting to maintain control of investigations and pretend they care......when in actual fact they are just terrified of the fall out and media attention that is going to besiege them.

I don't just want another report done.....as I have said anyone can throw money at expensive PR excercises.
It's time NTM got into "action......after all..weren't we all told growing up that "actions" speak louder than words? Words are cheap.....AND SO FAR THATS ALL WE'VE HEARD FROM NTM.

If they really cared they would be doing something "active" now with those files in the basement..... they should of done it years ago.

I would love for this investigation to influence the way that missions (not just NTM) deal with MKs. I'd like to see school programs that address the topics of safe/unsafe touches (sexual abuse), drugs, alcohol, and hotline's (email?) set up for MKs to contact someone in the mission if they have been abused. When I was in school (in two different MK schools, Tambo having been one of them), there was no talk at all about any of those topics, other than a "do not do drugs, have sex, or drink" talk *maybe* in high school (I can't even remember it being THAT clearly spelled out). I came to the US and my second year in college I started to work with a rape crisis center. I went to college groups, dorms, area agencies, and schools (not only high school, but jr. high and elementary) and presented talks about date rape drugs, drugs in general, alcohol, and sexual abuse. There are ways to have age appropriate talks with elementary kids and teach them what is acceptable and unacceptable when it comes to how others use their bodies (for example, the private areas of your body are those that are covered by your swimsuit. No one should touch your private areas, or ask you to touch theirs, unless they are keeping you clean or healthy {dr, parent, etc}). These programs were week long programs, done right in the classroom, and involved puppets, discussion times, games, etc. Not only should these kinds of programs be done, but they should be done on a yearly basis. With qualified, trained individuals conducting them.
I'd like to see public acknowledgement of the crimes committed, and the guilty people (after being proven guilty) publicly named. No more hiding, shoveling under a rug, or refusing to listen to victims!
I have heard that there are funds available for those who have been affected by the abuse to get counseling, but I have no idea if this is true, or how to go about taking advantage of that offer. I'd like to see it specifically laid out for those who have approached the investigative teams with their stories.
I don't know if I want an apology. The person who abused me had a long history of abuse, and I wouldn't want to be singled out and apologized to without everyone having that same opportunity. An apology won't make it go away. It won't make the abuse not have happened. I would certainly want them to understand, somehow, someway, how devastating what they did was for such young children. But it was not just the abuse. The entire atmosphere of Tambo...the way in which children were so carelessly ignored, the way in which creativity and uniqueness and personality were stifled, the way that a child was so alone in a sea of people...there is no undoing that. So I would like to see boarding schools stopped altogether, and if not that, then careful screenings of potential workers to rule out the abusive, the mean-spirited, the narrow-minded, and the cold. Loving, warm, genuine people, who liked children, are the only people who should be working in a school atmosphere like Tambo was.
Lots of words. Not clearly written. Sorry.

Very helpful thoughts and good words.

I need to clarify what I said about an apology. I had in mind an apology from the mission.

An apology from our abuser would not be helpful or healing at all. Nothing that man could say to me would help me.

The only words I would like him to say would be said at his local police station. "Lock me up. I am a dangerous pedophile."

He's had 19 years to say that. Yet he's still roaming his trailer park, a free man.

This is a great idea!
Is it enough to just post it here?
Can they say in the end, "Oh, we didn't read that."
How about sending the info to Larry Brown by registered mail so you have proof of delivery?
Hate to be so picky, but we want to communicate.
Or maybe to the Child Protection Committee.
I can give you a name of someone else to also send it to who can confirm that the info arrived.

I think that we should do all of those and more. Perhaps some of the magazines which initially did stories on the Fanda report could do a follow-up with some of this information.

No, no, no. Think laterally. How do you annoy a paedophile, by writing to them and telling them they are naughty? of course not.

You write to their neigbours and you say. Dear Neighbour, I am a concerned citizen who is worried that you don't have any idea who is living next to you. I just couldn't bear to have happen to your kids what happened to me at the hands of this person.
Do you know what that neighbour is going to do. A) tell everyone within earshot who they really are living next to. B) Ask the local cop to investigate.
And your conscience is clear, because you were only doing your civic duty and what is even better you don't even have to sign your name, just "A concerned citizen will do".

So Bemused I hear you asking, have you done this yourself? Are you nuts, the paedophiles at this end of the globe have been locked up and if I start writing to neighbours of paedophiles in other countries they are going to wonder why it doesn't have a U.S. stamp! No this one cannot be done by Bemused or by the Downunder MKs, believe me we have done some amazing things for this cause, but this one is out of our league, so good luck and happy mailing .

Bemused can send his letter in a second envelope to one of us, we can take the outside envelope off, stick a stamp on it. and send it on its way

It would be even more effective if it was mailed locally to the destination.

You can do the same thing by sending mail to Postmaster at whatever post office you want it mailed from. (It does require that you already have the correct postage on it though.)