MK forum

threewillows the only two fears you mentioned that I didn`t have are of getting pg I`m a male, and being alone. The only way not to get told on was to be by myself. Still am.

@threewillows - Banking and money? Ugh! Don't get me started! When my wife gently broached the subject of possibly owning a house one day - this was after *twelve years!* of living this side of the equator - I got so stressed out at the mere thought of $200K that I ended up in the bathroom in the fetal position crying my guts out. I had no idea how things worked!!! I didn't have a real "career" to speak of until I was in my 30's. Lack of prep was, IMO, one of NTO's (with apologies/thanks to OT) many great crimes against its children.

How about being scared you would be left behind in the RAPTURE? We had a stash of Jack Chick tracts around the house . . . Whoever did those caricatures created my nightmares . . .also not getting a visa . . .being jailed abroad . . .being raped by a national . . .it was pretty confusing to be "hit on" by old men when you were twelve . . .paperwork is still tough for me, my fear of the bills can be incapacitating . . .

I still remember my most vivid dream ever. I was either 4 or 5 years old at the time. We were at Durham at the time. In my dream, I was trapped in what I new to be hell. Visually, it was one of the bathrooms in the bottom of one of the buildings (cinder block with only one window up high). It was very dark. I remember my fingers breaking off at the joints and then suddenly being back together held by tape and then breaking off again. I don't remeber anything about any heat or flames. Anyway, it's the only dream from my whole life that I remember in that much detail. I think I may have woken up crying... Can you say TMI for the age?

My first memory of "grace" was a "paddle" hanging up in one NTEC classroom with the following words inscribed: "Board of Grace"

I got several ass whoopings for things I did not go from that paddle. So, that's what grace meant to me: getting that which you do not deserve.

Did anybody see the 20/20 report on sexual abuse and cover up in the IFB (Independent Fendamental Baptist) denomination? I watched it at:

http://abc.go.com/watch/2020/SH559026/VD55121488/2020-48-victims-forced-confession

So many of the statements sound just like NTM. At one point several church members are interviewed. They expressed regret over keeping quiet about it for so many years.

I've been thinking about how we, the average church members (or average missionaries), are just as culpable as the perpetrators when we keep our mouths shut when wrong things happen. It's time to rebel against the "don't talk" rule!!! Anybody with me?

I`m with you Kathy. I just don`t know who to yell at at the top of my voice.

Where did you read this article, Sherpa? Was it in a Family News of long ago? It doesn't ring a bell. I believe the Rayls have been out of NTM for quite some time now.
But yes, the sentiments you mention were reflected by others I remember too. All the rules seemed to me to be made to make the dorm parents' lives easier. Not the kids, or their parents.

Examples from my own memory:
Radio contact only once a week. No, little second-grader MK, you can't talk to your parents in the village today, it's only Tuesday.
If parents are passing through the school/flight center, and you're spending the night, no, don't ask if your child can come sleep in the guest room with you. It just upsets them, and the rest of the dorm kids.
If you're passing through and will only be there a few hours, don't even see your kids at all. Don't take them out of class, or disrupt their routine, just pretend that you're not even there, just a few yards away from them. (Since you're separated most of the time anyway, this shouldn't be too intolerable, right?)
I'm sure one of the dorm parents' least favorite things was to have small children crying for their mommies and daddies. I'm sure they hated that. So ... keep them busy, keep them in a routine, keep them from thinking too much about home.
And our children were also told, "When you go home on school break, you don't need to be telling your parents anything about what goes on here in the dorm.." Wow, what a burden to place on a small child.

Oh, dear God ... the pain, the regret, the disbelief at my own lack of backbone and initiative ... comes sweeping over me once more.

I am so sorry. So, so, so sorry. I will never get over this sorrow.