MK forum

Andy, I am not throwing out all of NTM. We know there are some who have a heart of compassion and the heart of a shepherd. Maybe there are some abuse cases where a little more evidence is needed.

But, Andy, WHERE are these who are in power and have changed???

After reading Mahalko's recent posts on the Aritao thread, please answer that question in the light of what you say is 'new.' Here is a case where there is no question of what has to be done. Is there ANY reason for moving slowly on that case???

Maybe there are some more of these 'new' people waiting in the wings. Print out this recent post to get them motivated to do what needs to be done. NEXT WEEK. It shouldn't take more than an hour. If you read what Mahalko has just written about the Philippine field, you can't help but have compassion. It screams for action. NOW.

The reason for printing out this part of the Aritao forum is that many NTMers I have talked with are not reading this blog. They are ill-informed. It boggles my mind to think they can keep their head in the sand, saying, "Well, I know this person and he's really nice." Without the facts, they will come to the wrong conclusion. The dribble of info on the NTM site, even the members site, is deplorable. Great for a starvation diet. By contrast, as much as the Fanda site has been hard to read, there has been so much wisdom, encouragement, transparency and biblical soundness there.

The real question about these 'new' leaders--- that I would like you to answer if you can---is: Since all of this platform performance/endless meetings/chapels/Q and A's with the students are all in the 'talk' camp, what is real in their lives? The only way to get to know other men is to be in an accountability group together and live life together. It is more than sitting in the office next door and going to meetings together. What are they like in action, not just in what they say? How many wolves in sheep's clothing are we finding among our ranks in these days? They know what to SAY. How do they LIVE?

It has been brought to my attention that NTM has a majority of students with only a high school education. This generation loves 'stories' and is powered quite a bit by emotion. How do they evaluate these leaders who come to take the platform? They can't unless they have some opportunity to be with them on a daily basis and see what their lives are like in real life situations. Or these leaders have been confirmed by those who know them and their actions on a daily basis. There is a danger of playing on the idealism and naivete of the students with these public performances.

The Philippine scenario is screaming for action on the part of godly men. Where are they?

@ MrsM
I'm not so much thinking in concrete questions looking for specific answers. Just brain-storming after a somewhat random, desperate fashion, perhaps also somewhat showing my gut reaction to why, as a man and father whose own MK daughter was also unimaginably abused by Frank: I can not quickly to give a "responsible" response to NTM's MK abuse problems: the issues are far, far too big, way above my head, completely outside my experience, and I've never had anything near the responsibility / roles resting on Larry and other NTM and GRACE leaders. I wish they could address everything really, really quickly and that all this hurt could go away much sooner than later. Surely this will be over in less than a year, will it not. I can't stand this for more than a few more months! Wasn't life better before I first learned about all this horrible mess less than two months ago? NOT truthfully! Would GRACE / NTM find legal action against certain Fanda abusers as helpful toward their need to "finish" the Fanda report recommendations? Or would they decide to officially announce that they are not able to finish the Fanda report yet, and even so, decided to continue on and switch focus to another obvious priority, perhaps the Philippines or Thailand situation, just so that handing this does not become stuck. How can leader seize the emotions of people and channel the admirable energies and talents of insiders and outsider into productive work toward washing all this muck and filth away?

@ HD and Mosquito Bite: You (not to say "we") are really on the same page, even if your particular expressions are a little different.

Larry Brown is a pretty convenient whipping boy, and I have taken my turns at it. He, as CEO, is NTM in a way that other missionaries are not, regardless of how close they feel towards him personally or to the organization in general. When "Larry Brown" is used in these contexts, it is not a personal attack on him - it is an indictment of the organization of which he is the "boss." He could resign tomorrow and be replaced by "Gene Long" (to pick an unlikely name) and we could just as easily start saying "Gene Long" instead of "Larry Brown." It is not a personal issue against Mr. Brown at all. He may feel that it is, as may his close friends. I know Gene Long fairly well, and I'm certain he would take it personally. But, that would be a mistake on his part; it is not a personal issue.

HD thinks he has more trust in Larry Brown than many who are posting on this site. I cannot speak for anyone else, but for my part, that is not true. I do not know Larry Brown; I don't think we've ever met, and we are not likely to meet. Consequently, I have nothing personal against him; I only use him as shorthand for New Tribes Mission, Inc. I am willing to grant Larry Brown the exact same trust as a person that I would grant either of you two, or any other poster. (I immodestly refer you to the "In praise of gullibility" thread.) You, HD, are to be commended for your trust in Mr. Brown. I hope no one shoots you! Plus, he is not the real issue.

I think everyone agrees that more needs to be done. Everyone agrees that things are not moving as fast as they'd like them to. On a certain level, everyone agrees that they don't want NTM to be rash, and do things that cause more damage and are hard to undo later. There is no point in compounding the problems. It's hard to imagine how things could get worse, but most of us have had the experience of things that are horrible getting even more so, far beyond our ability to imagine. Possibilities are not limited by our imaginations.

Another interesting point of agreement centers on the evaluation of NTM's performance to date. Everyone who has posted an opinion on it has used almost the same exact words: too little, too late. Now, that is almost a textbook definition of doing things poorly. (I am a married man, and the textbook was written by a married woman, so I know whereof I speak.) And, it took NTM a long time to get there, too. As real as the danger of doing things too quickly is, I don't think that is the general direction that we need to be wary of; there are dangers in doing things too slowly, too, and that is where most of NTM's effort seems to be getting expended.

Finally, HD, I salute you for taking the time to applaud Mosquito Bite for pushing NTM to correct things. Your unsolicited remark that her efforts have given you courage to speak up and not remain silent is eloquent testimony as to why it is so important for others to add their voices. Your stand, HD, may well encourage yet others to speak up. And, as you say, that is something that does take courage.

Now, Larry Brown, please get to work. . .

After watching my wife agonize and weep these past two weeks as she read story after story of abuse at both Fanda and Via, and then listening as she read aloud many of the sad and sordid details, the words of Jeremiah 17:9 came to mind. “And the heart is deceitful…” And to think that these tragic and heartbreaking events/crimes took place at missionary school bases…

The enemy must be laughing as he sees so many lives negatively affected. To destroy lives is a primary goal of his, no matter how he does it. He hates God, and he also hates us. It is easy to see from these horrific accounts that huge mistakes were made in the handling of the abused and the abusers. As my wife cried out, “Why did we not stand up sooner to protect those that we love so much?” We were parents that not only loved our children, but also each and every mk. We still want the very best for all of you. We finally realized after years of being bullied that we were equals with the teachers, dorm parents, and school leadership. We had different ministries, but one wasn’t above the other.

So, we stepped in at times to protect some of you. And we know that other parents have also done the same – it may not be known to many people and so seem like silence, but I imagine that many parents are taking action that they do not show up on this forum. For example, O.T., your parents are a blessing wherever they go. But your dad became my hero when he listened to a child trying to defend an unfair action against her younger sibling. He not only listened, he sided with her and made the dorm parent revoke his threat of punishment.

Some have mentioned the lack of communication on the part of the parents. We can’t answer for all, but to be honest we have been struggling with extreme sadness and guilt. It’s hard to forgive ourselves for not protecting the most vulnerable and most precious ones in our lives. There were years that we allowed controlling people dictate when we could sit with our children in the refei, when we could take them downtown to talk, when older siblings could visit or comfort one another, where lists of past wrongs were kept on some students, where the mks needed to act more spiritual than the adults. How did we allow that to happen?

The final straw was reading the account of a mk from PNG that made a comment that may not have been the best, but was definitely something common for teens to say. And to read how the adults in the school stomped all over him, making that comment equal to rape – and that he was never the same again.

Flashbacks came to me of that same emotional/spiritual abuse forced on not only our children but on other mks. Oh, my. The verse of the “millstone” certainly has probably applied to the abusers. But what about we parents? Were we the Samaritan that helped the victim “up” or did we walk on by? We have had years in both those roles. We are so sorry for not standing up for you sooner. Please forgive us.

We have hope for the mission as changes have been made in leadership and in leadership style. We have hope as we see you all helping one another. Many of the comments have been so helpful and full of love and understanding. Please don’t stop until all have been helped through the painful process of healing. Helping one another, encouraging one another, caring and empathizing with one another, is so good! A verse so well known, but I fear too often unheeded by many of us is Matt. 11:28. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

I loved the entry that emphasized the need for prayer and fasting and seeking God in this whole situation. Above all else, His glory should be our primary concern. (I Cor. 10:31, I Peter 4:11).

I would like to propose a seven point pledge, and then mention a prayer.

I pledge…

1. to be involved in whatever way God leads as I continuously seek His guidance.
2. to be on “praying ground”, i.e., choosing to live in such a way that my prayers are not hindered. (cf. Psalm 19:12-14 and Psalm 139:23, 24).
3. to pray regularly for the abused and the abusers and for the families of both. (and too) to pray for wisdom for the NTM leaders as to the action they must take and that it would be taken as soon as possible.
4. to seek opportunity to pray with, not just for, the abused or abusers, on a regular basis as long as needed. (over the phone or in person if possible).
5. to trust God more for miracles of healing in the lives of both the abused and abuser. (cf. Mark 9:22b-24) “Everything is possible for him who believes.”
6. to remember and take to heart the fact that even though ultimately all sin is against God, there are responsibilities for mission/church leaders to act justly. (Micah 6:7,8).
7. to respond to those who’ve been abused like the Good Samaritan responded; “…he… took care of him…” Luke 10:34, and then he continued to care for the abused man. He gave of his time and money. Jesus’ words to the expert in the law who had listened to the parable are challenging: “…Go and do likewise.” Luke 10:37

Psalm 142 is a prayer that seems to apply: “In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me……Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me…Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name.”

Thank you. It's always good to hear the voice of another parent on this Forum. And to have a father speak up is very rare.

We appreciate hearing your voice!

Kari, there is one basic answer to your question, in my opinion, and I believe it is biblical. The message of the Gospel and of the Cross of Jesus have been so drastically watered down and in these last days, that the sense of destiny and right and wrong have been miserably and pathetically contorted and misconstrued! Forgive me if this gets “preachy”…but…I believe the problem is a spiritual one and must be look at in light of the Word of God.

The message of our Lord and the first word that came from our Jesus’ mouth as he arrived on the scene and voiced his message some 2000 years ago was, “Repent…” The word in the original is Metanoia, which simply means “think differently…” or “Change your mind…” One of Jesus’ last words spoken to his disciples before He ascended was“…And that repentance (Metanoia) and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations…” Christ repeated this message of Metanoia several times throughout the Gospels. What I believe Jesus was saying to his disciples was this: “Change your minds and think like God thinks because that is the only way anyone will have any part in the kingdom of God!” Our Lord taught that message so well to His twelve disciples that on the day of Pentecost when the people who were listening to Peter, they asked, “What must we do to receive what you did?” His answer was simply, “Repent!” (Metanoia), or in today’s language, think differently; change your mind on all matters that pertain to life and the Kingdom of God!

The message didn’t stop there. The apostle Paul also preached this message; he said in Acts 26:20 “First to those in Damascus, then to those in Jerusalem and in all Judea, and to the Gentiles also,…I preached that they should [u][b]repent[/b][/u] and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds…” That same word is Metanoia! And today we think we are too sophisticated that we don’t need to preach the same message that Dr. Paul preached so many years ago! How sad! I know I am abbreviating here but Paul also wrote in 1 Corinthians and Galatians: “But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral… I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not [b]inherit the kingdom of God[/b]!!

What am I trying to say is this: We have been preaching a half salvation for years! We tell people how they can be saved and leave them hanging, when in reality that is just the beginning of our GREAT Salvation! Then comes the Sanctification part…living out Matthew 5-7 on a daily basis…Offering my body as a living sacrifice to God so I will know His Perfect will…Shunning all the sins of the flesh taught in Gal 5:19-21 so I can inherit the Kingdom of God…Setting my mind on things above so I won’t fall into the temptation of molesting innocent little children…

The apostle Paul put it in a nut shell when he said of the sexually immoral man of 1 Cor. 5:5 “…hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord. In other words this man was a believer (salvation of the spirit) but he was living only a “half” salvation. And if he continued on this selfish path he would have no rewards (salvation of the soul) “…for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” (1 Peter 1:9)

People are so afraid to be too heavenly minded that they can’t function properly for the Kingdom. This brings about double mindedness in men and Jesus said no one in the economy of God can serve two masters!!! If we would read, study and live the first chapter of First Peter in the light of Metanoia-- to be “…Holy as God is Holy…” so we can participate in the rewards of Heaven, I don’t think most of us would be entangling ourselves with all the petty “weights that so easily beset”, but taking stands and drawing the lines in the “sand” and shouting from the house tops that protecting the pedophile and molester is wrong and must not be tolerated in any form! This is Metanoia!

I believe this is an area of principle that NTM has failed in miserably…I know; I got all the teaching!

I have read this entire thread and I am the husband of an MK survivor or horrific abuse within the Christian and Missionary Alliance system. I know nothing of NTM; I am new to this forum.
I have given 20 years of thought to the question of why there is no outrage—abhorrence to use Kari’s term—on the part of male missionary leaders.
I would summarize my conclusions as follows:

1. To have outrage would mean to take sexual abuse for what it is, criminal behavior, and to admit that the organization they are charged with running has been complicit with crimes for decades. It’s much easier to think of it in terms the organization deals with as experts: sin, or perhaps a momentary succumbing to temptation. And sin is SO EASY to deal with. Forgiveness is free. Outrage would lead to questioning the very existence of MK boarding schools. But that can’t rationally be done. Why?
2. Because without the boarding schools the entire enterprise collapses. For them to admit that boarding schools are breeding grounds for abuse, sin, and crime would undermine their entire enterprise. To admit that means admitting you have caused little ones to stumble and you are deserving of one of Jesus’ millstones reserved for such types. To admit that and to accept 20 years of worldwide headlines about child abuse in all sorts of group homes means you cannot in good conscience allow your organization to continue to operate the way it does. But it strikes too close to home to even think in these categories. Outrage falls prey to the survival of the organization.

To have outrage means admitting they’ve misrepresented Jesus to their missionaries and their entire organization. Jesus would not be complicit with the abuse of children. His millstone comments make that crystal clear. Where is the abhorrence? Missionary leaders will never feel that emotion until they are willing to question the system they have created. When, and if they really get it, the rage will follow quite naturally since it’s an essential part of any Christian leader’s arsenal. They need look no further for an example than Jesus himself, who when confronted with far lesser sin seeing the moneychangers in the temple, had an interesting reaction. HE MADE A WHIP. AND USED IT IN HOLY RAGE WITHIN THE WALLS OF THE TEMPLE.

“The world is not dangerous because of those who do harm but because of those who look at it without doing anything” Albert Einstein

All due respect, but I'm going to say it's primarily the evil people.