MK forum

"It was all a culture along time ago and far away, but its effects have been profound."

How did it all go so wrong? We were sold a dream that we were going to do something absolutely wonderful for humanity, give them a guarantee of eternal life. Yet the dream quickly became a nightmare.

So now some of us wander through life wondering if any of it was true. Were the fundamentals of what we supposed to be believe in just a hoax. This living by faith, it was just extortion of naive people back home who were conned into financing our parents overseas adventures. Just send a couple of slides home and a sad needy story to keep the cash rolling in.

Did God even exist at all? We were trying to deliver a message of a middle eastern man being part of a diety that was going to save the world and to undermine the credibility of a truly remarkable concept we had some real perverts making a mockery of it all.

Indeed it was survival mode, just to keep the mind intact from the diet of mumbo jumbo and sorting out fact from fiction. Was I ever relieved to escape.

But escape to what, broken relationship after broken relationship, distrusting anything or anyone that was "christian" or religous. Trying to find solace in church after church just because of the guilt of not going. Then finally turning away from it all.

Then all the useless counselling, from do gooders who say I'm a Princess and I deserve a better life. Yeah right, this old shiela ain't no Princess and the only way a good life is going to happen is if I stop feeling sorry for myself and get on with life!

Sometimes S@#T happens, it certainly did in my backyard. But at least I know where it is now, I can shovel it up and some of it I can throw back to where it came from and that feels rather theraputic.

Now that would be a sight, manure being shoveled back over the fence at a rapid rate of knots.

I do admire your honesty and you are right. Surely there was a fair percentage of us who questioned why we were in third world countries, watching our parents and others preaching blind faith and obedience. I often wondered if any of it was true, when things were going from bad to worse. Perhaps if we had had wonderful role models it would of all been more relevant. But to hear a dorm parent stand up in chapel and rabbit on about the love of God and know that he was groping young girls and beating the locals with pieces of wood, it just didn't make a lot of sense.
My siblings and I were told over and over that we were there because the locals weren't happy and needed to become happy through our intervention. In fact all those at home weren't happy either, because they weren't making the ultimate sacrifice like we were. Trouble was, none of it mad me happy at all, that only came after eventually being able to 'Deal With" the enormous sadness the whole mess caused.