MK forum

I think you have misread my post. As I said in an ideal world that is the case, but as we agree, we are not living in an ideal world, so we make do with what we can.

Yeah, okay. It's not ever been true in my experience of life, Bemused, but I am happy for you that it works in your world. <3

With all due respect, I think you've missed my point. So let us try again. In an ideal world one would go to ones parents with ones problems and they would offer their wisdom and all would be much better.

The point I made is many of us because of our upbringing don't live in this ideal world, going to have a discussion with our parents is not going to solve any problems, it will probably make them worse. It certainly would in my case and by the sound of it yours too.

And so we seek alternatives in various avenues, one of them being a forum like this and others the avenues you have pointed out.

There is no platitude or salt in wound.

shadowspring2, what has happened to you and your husband is nothing short of a tragedy. What Bemused said is so true though, our mum and dad should be our support, they should be the one who loves us unconditionally and counsels us wisely but as Bemused said that is not always to be. I am so very thankful my children were mks and came out pretty much unharmed. I didn't realize a few years ago that is what I should be thankful for but after getting an email from a lady in Queensland telling me about the bangladeshmksspeak blog my eyes were opened. That lead me on a journey thus finding this forum. If you have followed the story of Bemused it isn't that much different from yours. I personally knew missionaries who committed adultery but I didn't know I knew missionaries that were pedophiles and abused children in other ways but sure enough I do. Full stop.

That's what makes it so complicated......
Emotions tied to family.
NTM is so many families intertwined by marriage.
NO ONE can report anyone else.
Or is willing to...
Everyone is busy protecting themselves
And the family.
Do you report your family member who committed a crime?
When it's not quite a crime, but ruined your life...
What do you do then?
Think outside the box.
No one is telling you not to think now.
Or what to think.

Some good points made here.
The key is to think.

The past cannot be changed, it happened. The present is the consequences of the past, but the future is what we each have some control over. Not just for ourselves, but so that in another 20 years time there isn't another generation of abused children setting up a network like this, crying out to be heard and believed.

NTM was portrayed as a harmonious family. There were lots of uncles and aunts and brothers and sisters in Christ. Except some of us felt more like distant cousins, well I certainly felt that way. But that now works to my advantage, there is no one to protect, no family loyalties, no one I owe favours too. I only owe it to myself to tell the truth.

I don't seek admission to the NTM fold, it's not my cup of tea, but on the other hand I'm not the wolf in sheeps clothing prowling around the perimeter seeking to devour those who wander to close. The wolves are within the fold.
As for me, I am who I am, quite comfortable in my own skin.

"... but so that in another 20 years time there isn't another generation of abused children setting up a network like this, crying out to be heard and believed."

EXACTLY WHY WE ARE HERE!

"The wolves are within the fold."

We have thought that for a long time.
And it's such a sad thought.
We were deceived.